Being ignored and ruining happiest time

[LEP]

Whilst pregnant my partner would occasionally get drunk, we'd argue and I disclosed this to my midwife following a particularly difficult night. This was subsequently disclosed to SS. We have explained the stress of COVID and lack of work for my partner has placed on him, as well as other stressor specific to last year. SS have misrepresented discussions in their reports and they are at times factually inaccurate. None of this has been taken on board by SS. We were guilty in their eyes of causing emotional harm to my unborn child.
I gave birth in January and SS insisted we had a 24-7 chaperone at home until a child protection hearing. At the hearing our views were ignored, things we put in place to supposedly mitigate any risk were dismissed and we now have a child protection plan. It is causing immeasurable stress and has ruined what should have been the happiest time of our life. How do we get SS to listen to us? We want to work with them but are worried that forever more we be under suspicion of causing harm to our child. They are also insisting on actions immediately when we have a newborn to care for, we simply cannot do the very long list of interventions in their timescales but want the plan closing ASAP, catch 22. And of course, the fact we think a plan is not required and disagree with SS including highlighting inaccuracies in their reports has tarnished us with not accepting there is emotional harm and that I am covering for my partner.
Since the birth the only stress had been the SS involvement and character assassination of my partner. For example SS implied that if my partner left me they would not need a child protection plan; they'd rather a single parent than listen to us. We have tried so hard to work with them and explained that my partner was under a lot of stress. Having this child is all we have ever wanted. How do we get our voices heard? We want to complain but is this a hiding to nothing. We engaged a solicitor but SS seem untouchable, should we save our money? Will we ever be allowed to just be a family together?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear LEP,

Welcome to the parent's board and thank you for your post.

You say in your post that during your pregnancy, you disclosed to your midwife that your partner would on occasion become drunk and this would lead to arguments. This led to a referral to children's services, whom, you say, concluded that your child was at risk of emotional harm. Following your child's birth, an initial child protection conference was held, and your child was made subject to a child protection plan. You feel as though you and your partner have been misrepresented in reports and that your views were not heard at the conference. You do not feel as though your child is at risk of emotional harm and would like to work with children's services, however, you also feel that there are a lot of expectations on the child protection plan and that children's services involvement is not necessary.

The professionals involved in your baby's life have decided, at the initial child protection conference chaired by an independent chair, that your child reaches the threshold for a child protection plan. This means they believe your child has suffered or is at risk of suffering significant harm due to the conflict in the relationship with your partner. They may be worried that if this were to continue, your child would be exposed to frightening behaviour that could cause them to be unsafe or feel distressed.

It is clear that you do not feel this to be the case, and that the only reason such conflict occurred was because of the stress your partner was under. Whilst this may be the case, you are right in saying that children's services may think your are minimising or denying concerns. It is important to acknowledge that whatever the reason for such conflict happening was, children's services would like you and your partner to address this to ensure that it does not impact upon the welfare of your child. You mention that you do not think you can achieve some of the actions of the child protection plan within the timescales; have you spoken to the social worker about this? It is important that the child protection plan is as collaborative as possible and if you feel that you would require more support in certain areas, you should communicate this. Are you engaging with any domestic abuse services and/or is your partner working to address some of his behaviours? You can also read more about the child protection process here.

You say in your post that you do not agree with some of the things that have been written about you. The first thing you can do is speak to the social worker about this, which it sounds as though you have done. You could also write your version of disputed facts or events and ask that this be attached to your child's file. You say that you do not think your views were heard at the child protection conference; if you feel as if the conference was not held in a fair way, you can speak to the child protection chair about this. Alternatively, you can send a complaint to the Chair's manager or contact the children's services complaints manager. Your complaint will be investigated but this does not mean that the decision to place your children on a child protection plan neglect will be changed. For more information, take a look at pages 11-12 on our complaints advice sheet. You are of course free to consult a solicitor, but this may not necessarily be helpful at this stage if your main concern is having your views heard. Have you considered seeking the help of an advocate in your local area?

I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie