Son locked in bedroom

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Lil123
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2020 5:17 pm

Son locked in bedroom

Post by Lil123 » Tue Dec 15, 2020 6:18 pm

My son is locked in his bedroom by his father every night for the last 4 years and he has been refusing to get medical help for it. Social services became aware of this about 18 months ago, but they are still not doing anything to help him. Just before lockdown they were suggesting he goes to a respite centre so someone could look at his sleep routines. But due to covid he cant get in. His dad has refused night time care in his home whilst the respite option is not available. Its been reported to social care and the police on multiple times but they refuse to do anything. i am at my wits end. i cant operate normal life out of fear for my sons life. he has a rare syndrome that causes breathing difficulties. And 2 children have died in their beds. His dad is just locking him and ignoring him. I have called social services who claim they are doing stuff to help but they are not. I keep asking the hospitals he goes to to help and they raise safeguarding concerns. But we are just going round and round in circles. Each service and agency blames the other for the failing. But no one is taking any action.

PLEASE HELP

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3265
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Son locked in bedroom

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Dec 16, 2020 3:22 pm

Dear Lil123

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

From your post I see that you are very worried and concerned for your son’s safety and wellbeing in his father’s care. You state that your son has been locked in his bedroom every night for 4 years and your worry is that your son has a rare condition which affects his breathing which must be difficult to manage. You do not say how old your son is or whether he attends school.

Does your son live with his father under a court order and, if so, what contact do you have with your son or is he able to live with you?

As your son has a rare syndrome and children’s services are involved, is he on a child in need or child protection plan? It appears from your post that you are trying to help your son by making them aware of your concerns and the hospital has made safeguarding referrals as well. If, as you say children’s services are not doing enough to safeguard your son as they are required to do, then you can consider making a formal complaint. Please read our advice sheet Challenging decisions and making complaints . You can ask the social worker for a copy of their complaints policy or find it on the local authority’s website.

Alternatively, you could ask for a meeting with the allocated social worker’s manager or the Director of Children’s Services to discuss your concerns. You may also consider asking your local Member of Parliament (MP) for help and support in dealing with the local authority. You could also contact your local children’s safeguarding board about your concerns. Another agency you could get in touch with is Contact on 020 7608 8700 as they can advise where a child has a disability.

If there is an Education, Health and Care Plan (ECHP) it might help for all the professionals to have a meeting with you and your son’s father to discuss the best way his ongoing needs can be met going forward.

Should you wish your son to be in your care, you could make an application to the court for a child arrangement order. If there is already an order in his father’s favour, then apply for this to be discharged and an order made in your favour instead. If you were to make an application to the court, the judge would want to know about what is being for your son by children’s services or other agencies involved. Please see our advice sheet DIY Child Arrangements Orders: information for family and friends carers . Child Law Advice offers advice where there is a private law matter as your application would be. Their number is 0300 330 5480.

I hope this information is of help as this is based on what you have stated in your post, you can post again, if you wish.

If you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays)

Best wishes

Suzie

Lil123
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2020 5:17 pm

Re: Son locked in bedroom

Post by Lil123 » Wed Dec 16, 2020 8:36 pm

My son went to stay with his father after he told social services he did not have any of the problems I was saying he had. I let him go because I could not manage a newborn baby and disabled child at the same time and he convinced everyone that I was exaggerating what I was saying. Now social services are saying they are concerned about him being locked in. I cant go and get him as he has no wheelchair and is the same size as me now. I have no transport. I have been abused by my ex partner and his group of friends too. he will be 12 in March. He is non verbal , still in nappies with ASD and SLD. He also now has spinal problems which his dad has been disputing and ignoring for years despite my desperate attempts to beg and pled with him and his social worker on i cant say what his genetic condition is, since there are only a small number in UK and it might identify me . His dad wont let me take him to see doctor without his permision or without him being present and when he is present he is abusive to me. There is no court order that allows him to do this but I feel i have to comply because he will hurt me or my children if I dont.. I have tried to report to police and social services and they say they are taking my concerns seriously. But they wont provide respite care due to covid backlog. I dont want to make a fuss. But every time I report it to hospitals involved in his care they raise safeguarding concerns. I am really frightened of this man. He will kill me if I tell anyone about it. I am sorry.
Please just help my son. I am no longer relevant. It is him who is impt.

Lil123
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2020 5:17 pm

Re: Son locked in bedroom

Post by Lil123 » Sat Dec 19, 2020 9:12 pm

I just wrote to my sons GP and paeditrician, by email. I have been going through all of the reports and correspondence and it is actuallly quite frigthening what is going on here. I complained to LA and then to LGO. They would not uphold my complaint #. But stated that they commended section 47 enquiries and then closed them as dad promised to work with them. But ever since he has prevaricated and delayed doing anything. They would not uphold my complaint for that reason, but also because they said he had been referred to a sleep clinic and that CCTV euipment had been installed. Neither was correct . So I went to the childrens commissioner and the LA lied to them as well! They told the childrens commisioner that the council were monitoring his sleep. Of course this all infers that he has been monitored by a sleep clinic and then the CCTV is being reviewed by "professionals" which is what they told GOSH when asked. But they know this is not true. My ex husband has put in a baby monitor "linked to his phone" which does not record, so no one has been able to review any his sleep footage. You really could not make this up. Feels like a massive cover up. I cant believe they would make these kind of statements to external agencies by "mistake" . It is terrifying how someone can play the system like this for so long and get away with it. Seems to me that because he is disabled no one cares. I am shocked to the core that services that are supposed to protect do nothing to intervene in such a serious situation. The condition he has has already led to 2 children dying in their beds from what wwere suspected sleep seizures/apnea. So locking him in without any monitoring in place is beyond digusting. I feel llike going down there myself and dragging hm away to a hospital. But I know i cant. Just awful. I have been crying most of lockdown.

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