New born baby boy noticed by child care and about to be put under child care plan/ NEED ADVICE SUPPORT

Post Reply
En373
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2020 1:59 pm

New born baby boy noticed by child care and about to be put under child care plan/ NEED ADVICE SUPPORT

Post by En373 » Mon Dec 07, 2020 5:07 pm

Hi Guys,
Good day.
It takes me lots of courage amidst this all time lowest phase of life that our newly born baby boy is about to be put under child protection plan from 15th December 2020.
Before I explain further let me first give timelines around it:-
Baby born :-xxx 2020 xxx
Child incidence reported in hospital on xx november and Informed to me on xxx November that I cant see my child anymore with my wife being around.
Its been almost 2 weeks since (xxx November) I couldnt be with my wife and son together thats the misery I am going through.
Imagine me being new dad missing 2 initial weeks from my son's life.
So it all began with a not even a issue but my wife being hormonal/kind of got upset with me on xx and simply came over me and shouted in hospital ward which has been observed by midwife there. Now her coming over me I tried to stop has now become ME PUSHING HER WHICH IS NOT AT ALL THE TRUTH.
Midwife then reported to child care services
They came to talk to my wife and she not realising and being too hormonal spilled the beans over something which is not even worth calling a disagreement forget about a fight. But unfortunately it has been put into childcare services attention & they picked and unduly taking advantages of few past instances of what happened between me and my wife. My wife regrets the same herself to death not realising what consequences it has caused.
Now the consequences of the situation is that social care lady has given us 15 work days notice from 24th November and we cant be together. Its such a testing time for both me and my wife & its so annoying that social services being so rude, un-emphatic to us as a parents of new born baby missing out on mother and father.
My wife has been pleading from the next day itself to set us free from these unecessary too stringent rules in the name of child protection
When we both can and will be able to set all this apart and give our child best ever possible child care. But the local child care is so pathetic and good for nothing that they walk the path of processes on a tortoise pattern.
They dont understand that each passing day is like years.
I am not allowed to see my child along with my wife and they both cant come to my house. To add misery and shame to all this, there timelines are so far stretched and lazy that its killing both of us.
Now next week 15th December they are going to have 1st child care protection call and has invited me and my wife.
Till now we dont have any option at all but to comply to whatever they are saying and had been doing it diligently. But its so unfair and single sided rule of slap on both of us.
So my question to all you wise people here is can you let us know how long this process is going to take and when can we all 3 get together
Can solicitor help in this scenario and expedite the process quicker so that we 3 are together happily ever after.
I did spoke to solicitor and all they said is to cooperate and comply with child care worker until they arrive at child care protection call.
Its a surprise and a shame that even solicitor cant help to speedup the process & get us a work around.
Please please people in this forum help me and my wife out of this long chalked unfair process of walking on hot lava
Last edited by Suzie, FRG Adviser on Wed Dec 09, 2020 12:20 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Moderated to protect confidentiality.

Uska
Posts: 7
Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2020 8:38 pm

Re: New born baby boy noticed by child care and about to be put under child care plan/ NEED ADVICE SUPPORT

Post by Uska » Thu Dec 10, 2020 7:37 pm

Hello,

I am sorry that social services are not giving you clear guidance on what exactly you need to do in order for you to see your son again. I agree that that must be incredibly frustrating.

You wrote that your son will be made subject to a Child Protection Plan from 15/12/2020 - I presume that is when the Child Protection Conference will take place?

If that is the case, the decision to make your son subject to the CP plan will only be made then.

All practitioners invited to the conference should give you their report for the conference in advance. They will also all share their concerns (as well as strengths about your family) at the conference. It is important that you read through the reports and listen carefully to all the concerns because unless you demonstrate that you and your wife have addressed all of them, social services will unlikely recommend that you return to the family home.

Apart from discussing your son’s needs, the conference members and you will develop a Child Protection Plan – the plan will outline actions for you, your wife, social worker and other practitioners working with your family. Hopefully, this will clarify to you and your wife what needs to happen for you to return to the family home. It is important that you and your wife follow the plan even though you may disagree with it. At the conference, ensure that all actions have a date by which they need to be completed so that you have clear timescales.

If you complete all the actions but the professionals do not follow their timescales, it is at this point when it may be beneficial to make a complaint or go to see a solicitor.

At the conference, it should be also clarified under which circumstances you can see your son – this should be at least done through a ‘supervised contact session’.

Based on what you wrote, the social care concern is that you are abusive towards your wife. Following the conference, Social services are likely to conduct an assessment of you which may take several weeks – the assessment will recommend further steps – so it may take much longer before the recommendation whether you can return back home or under what circumstances is made.

It is important that during your discussions with social services and other practitioners, you truly reflect on your behaviour – it may be that the practitioners are exaggerating what had happened but you potentially minimising it will not be beneficial for your child either.

If you or any of the practitioners working with you identify that you have some difficulties (you are controlling, abusive, have anger issues, mental health difficulties, substance misuse – sorry, I don’t know you so just listing these as an example), I recommend that you are proactive in addressing these – have a look at various support services. There is usually a free support helpline for any issue (just google it) and follow their recommendations. This is the most effective way to demonstrate to the professionals working with you that you have addressed all the identified difficulties - they need concrete evidence rather than your or your wife's word.

I am very sorry about the process being so long and this is even when families do co-operate and follow all the recommendations given - it is devastating.

En373
Posts: 4
Joined: Fri Dec 04, 2020 1:59 pm

Re: New born baby boy noticed by child care and about to be put under child care plan/ NEED ADVICE SUPPORT

Post by En373 » Fri Dec 11, 2020 9:13 am

Thanks a lot your response has been truly very helpful, Damage and loss has occurred for sure & I hope god along with time help it pass quickly and get me back with wife/son

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: New born baby boy noticed by child care and about to be put under child care plan/ NEED ADVICE SUPPORT

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Dec 23, 2020 10:08 am

Dear En373,

Welcome to the Parents’ Board and thank you for your post.

Uska has given you some really useful advise and I would encourage you to consider what she has said. It may be helpful for you to take a look at our advice sheet on child protection procedures, which you can find here.

If you would like to discuss this with one of our advisers, you can call our free advice line between 09:30 – 3pm Mon-Fri.

Best Wishes,

Suzie.

Post Reply

Who is online

In total there is 1 user online :: 0 registered, 0 hidden and 1 guest (based on users active over the past 5 minutes)
Most users ever online was 318 on Fri May 28, 2021 9:04 pm