I’m so scared of what’s going too happen, basically my son was taken into care and eventually placed with my mum under an sgo, he’s been with her for just over 3 years, he was 8 weeks old when taken into care due too unexplained injury’s (there was a crack in one of his growth plates) me & his dad went through court and the police were involved. In the end the police didn’t press charges as they said they didn’t have any evidence to do so, the courts basically said he couldn’t be returned back to our care and then went on to living with my mum, I have no idea how the injuries occurred & also never noticed anything to say something was wrong I.e he didn’t scream or cry any different, never showed limpness in that limb, and there was never any swelling or bruising, I feel I’ve changed a lot since this happened, I’m lucky as I get too see my son once a week & we have an amazing relationship. I’m now a carer for my dad, im no longer with my sons dad & feel much better about life now than when my son was taken.
My issue is recently I was feeling really down as I am struggling with my dad due to lockdown and him not being allowed to go out as he’s vulnerable and his mental health is suffering due to it and my sons dad comes over too see my dad sometimes, he came over and they sat in the garden to keep there distance and when it came too me leaving to go home my sons dad offered to give me a lift so I wasn’t walking and I stupidly said yes (we still speak and get on as we have a child together and I feel we need to be civil for my sons sake) anyway I had a break down in the car and just cried as it had been a hard day with my dad and his mental health and I don’t have anyone to talk too about it, he offered to come in and make me a brew and have a chat and again I stupidly said yes, anyway one thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together, I’m now getting a few symptoms of being pregnant, I’m so scared to do a test as I’m worried what’s going too happen if I am.
If I was I wouldn’t keep it from social services.
My questions are
1) Because I’ve had a previous child removed does that mean this one would be too? (If I am pregnant that is)
2) what happens with social services once there involved?
3) can they give an answer then go back on it? I.e say yes I could keep it then change there mind to no we would remove at birth
4) if they did say removal at birth could I appeal this?
5) Most of my family ditched me when my mum got the sgo so I don’t have much family around but I’ve got my best friend and her family who are like a second family too me and supported me through everything I’ve been through previously, would they be classed as my support network and would that be allowed due too them not actually being family?
Sorry for the long post, I’m just terrified I’m going too have to go through the whole pregnancy too then hand over the baby at birth and I don’t want that, that’s why I’m putting of doing a test as I’m so scared there going to just swoop in and take the baby, I’d be more than happy to work with them through it all and do what they want, I’m not getting back together with my ex and never will it was a stupid mistake that should of never happened and I acknowledge that, I do want another child but I’m just worried this isn’t going to work out as I hope and I’m going too loose the baby at birth as there isn’t anyone I know that could put in for an sgo for the baby so it would be put up for adoption and I don’t know if I could live with myself after that as I feel it’s all my fault as I’m not on birth control as I don’t need to be due to not looking for a partner as I’m looking after my dad most of the time but I knew I wasn’t on anything and didn’t stop it happening.
Sorry for the rant and long post I just wanted too make sure everything was in it, please no nasty comments or anything, I already feel terrible
Child under SGO pregnant again and scared
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OnlineSuzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4260
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Child under SGO pregnant again and scared
Dear EL19
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. I am sorry that we have not been able to respond to you before now.
You are very worried as you might be pregnant and fear that if you are, your baby will be removed from your care, as happened with your first child. I can see that this is causing you a lot of stress and that it was unplanned. A further issue is that the father would be the father of your first son; your son was removed due to unexplained injuries he suffered.
I guess the first thing to do is to take a test to confirm if you are pregnant.
If you are pregnant and decide to go ahead with your pregnancy you should be prepared for children’s services to do a pre-birth assessment. You have already said you wouldn’t keep your pregnancy from children’s services; that is a wise decision. It would be better for you (or maybe with the support of your GP or midwife) to contact them to let them know and to ensure that the pre-birth assessment happens promptly.
Unfortunately, I can’t predict exactly what will happen or what the outcome of an assessment will be. Any findings that the court made at the end of the court proceedings may be relevant; as well as any recommendations that were made. You could look back at the court documents or discuss with the solicitor who represented you. It is difficult to advise without this information.
The assessment will look at what happened in the past – your son’s situation, your relationship with his father, your circumstances – and the current situation. It is good to hear that you are in a better place now, you are devoted to caring for your dad although it sounds as if that is quite stressful too – have you had a carer’s assessment from Adult Social Care to make sure that you are getting the right support? You are also not planning to resume a relationship with your ex-partner. It sounds as if you have a good relationship with your little boy too and you see him regularly. Is this supervised?
Your commitment to working with children’s’ services would be a positive.
In answer to your questions:
1) Having had a child removed does not necessarily mean a subsequent child will be removed but it is possible – it will always depend on the specific circumstances of the situation. But it would usually mean that children’s services would need to do an assessment and evaluate any risk.
2) The information below on pre-birth assessments explains what happens once children’s services become involved.
3) Situations can change/be reviewed – if that is necessary i.e. if there is a new incident or new concerns or if expected changes don’t happen.
4) Your baby could not be removed without your consent (a voluntary arrangement under S20) or without a court order e.g. an interim care order. The court cannot make an order until a baby is born. You would get legal aid if you were in care proceedings and you could argue (via your solicitor or barrister) against the making of an order removing your baby (and put forward other alternatives such as a mother and baby unit) or if the order was made you might be able to appeal it, in certain legal circumstances.
5) Your best friend and her family can certainly form part of a support network for you / your baby. They could be invited to a family group conference if that was being offered.
Here is more information about what happens if children’s services become involved again if you are pregnant:
I’m expecting a baby how will social workers know if my baby will be safe .
Here are some tips on what you can do:
• stay in regular touch with health professionals to make sure you get the ante-natal care that you and your baby need;
• work with the social worker to make a safe plan for your child for when they are born. This may include:
• you understanding and overcoming the problems which led to your previous child being removed and what support you need with your new baby;
* the social worker saying what support you will be given when the baby is born to help you care for them,
* considering whether there is anyone else in the baby's family who is suitable to look after your baby if you cannot.
If the assessment concludes that your baby may be at risk you should:
• see a solicitor straight away. They can advise you and help you discuss plans with the social worker, even before your baby is born; and
• discuss with your wider family/friends network if there is anyone who could care for your baby safely after the birth if you are not allowed to. If there is, ask those family members to contact the social worker and ask to be assessed as soon as possible.
I hope this helps a little. I am sorry not to be able to offer you any absolutes as that is not possible. If you are pregnant and continue with your pregnancy I hope all goes well. You are already taking responsibility by thinking things through and seeking advice.
If children’s services become involved and you have any further queries please do post again or if you would like to speak with an adviser please ring the freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 Mon to Fri 9.30 to 3.00 pm.
With best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. I am sorry that we have not been able to respond to you before now.
You are very worried as you might be pregnant and fear that if you are, your baby will be removed from your care, as happened with your first child. I can see that this is causing you a lot of stress and that it was unplanned. A further issue is that the father would be the father of your first son; your son was removed due to unexplained injuries he suffered.
I guess the first thing to do is to take a test to confirm if you are pregnant.
If you are pregnant and decide to go ahead with your pregnancy you should be prepared for children’s services to do a pre-birth assessment. You have already said you wouldn’t keep your pregnancy from children’s services; that is a wise decision. It would be better for you (or maybe with the support of your GP or midwife) to contact them to let them know and to ensure that the pre-birth assessment happens promptly.
Unfortunately, I can’t predict exactly what will happen or what the outcome of an assessment will be. Any findings that the court made at the end of the court proceedings may be relevant; as well as any recommendations that were made. You could look back at the court documents or discuss with the solicitor who represented you. It is difficult to advise without this information.
The assessment will look at what happened in the past – your son’s situation, your relationship with his father, your circumstances – and the current situation. It is good to hear that you are in a better place now, you are devoted to caring for your dad although it sounds as if that is quite stressful too – have you had a carer’s assessment from Adult Social Care to make sure that you are getting the right support? You are also not planning to resume a relationship with your ex-partner. It sounds as if you have a good relationship with your little boy too and you see him regularly. Is this supervised?
Your commitment to working with children’s’ services would be a positive.
In answer to your questions:
1) Having had a child removed does not necessarily mean a subsequent child will be removed but it is possible – it will always depend on the specific circumstances of the situation. But it would usually mean that children’s services would need to do an assessment and evaluate any risk.
2) The information below on pre-birth assessments explains what happens once children’s services become involved.
3) Situations can change/be reviewed – if that is necessary i.e. if there is a new incident or new concerns or if expected changes don’t happen.
4) Your baby could not be removed without your consent (a voluntary arrangement under S20) or without a court order e.g. an interim care order. The court cannot make an order until a baby is born. You would get legal aid if you were in care proceedings and you could argue (via your solicitor or barrister) against the making of an order removing your baby (and put forward other alternatives such as a mother and baby unit) or if the order was made you might be able to appeal it, in certain legal circumstances.
5) Your best friend and her family can certainly form part of a support network for you / your baby. They could be invited to a family group conference if that was being offered.
Here is more information about what happens if children’s services become involved again if you are pregnant:
I’m expecting a baby how will social workers know if my baby will be safe .
Here are some tips on what you can do:
• stay in regular touch with health professionals to make sure you get the ante-natal care that you and your baby need;
• work with the social worker to make a safe plan for your child for when they are born. This may include:
• you understanding and overcoming the problems which led to your previous child being removed and what support you need with your new baby;
* the social worker saying what support you will be given when the baby is born to help you care for them,
* considering whether there is anyone else in the baby's family who is suitable to look after your baby if you cannot.
If the assessment concludes that your baby may be at risk you should:
• see a solicitor straight away. They can advise you and help you discuss plans with the social worker, even before your baby is born; and
• discuss with your wider family/friends network if there is anyone who could care for your baby safely after the birth if you are not allowed to. If there is, ask those family members to contact the social worker and ask to be assessed as soon as possible.
I hope this helps a little. I am sorry not to be able to offer you any absolutes as that is not possible. If you are pregnant and continue with your pregnancy I hope all goes well. You are already taking responsibility by thinking things through and seeking advice.
If children’s services become involved and you have any further queries please do post again or if you would like to speak with an adviser please ring the freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 Mon to Fri 9.30 to 3.00 pm.
With best wishes
Suzie
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fightformykids99
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2023 9:16 pm
Re: Child under SGO pregnant again and scared
What happened please? I'm going through the same thing
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