I can't help feeling like

[A123]

I've had 4 children removed all for different reason (lack of attachment I had pnd, my daughters father, a car accident and the most recent car accident and lack of time to prove therapy changes are long term) I feel like apart of me is missing and I'd like another child but I'm so scared it will be removed I've asked what their reasons are as I have 3 different LAs (soon to be 2 once adoption is done) the one la are using the issues from 7+ years my attachment with my oldest and my sons father who was abusive and split up back in 2013 before out son was born, the other la never wanted me or any of my family to have my 3rd child a rehab plan was put in place but I got in a car accident then they wanted adoption but placed her with her abusive father's family she now lives with a drug user ss are aware but are not interested none of my family are allowed to see my daughter and my youngest was born early and needed to go to SCBU but upon discharge was told she was to go to fc and the sw was shocked and said if I lived in England she would have come home, there was no issues with my care ect whilst she was in SCBU ect and the 3 Las state there's no issues with my parenting, I'm working with the reflect project as advised in court my worker is going to try and see if they will tell her what the concerns are, my solicitor did say that the judges I've had 3 have never said I can't parent in future which apparently is a good thing, I don't even want a relationship I just want to fill the part of me that's missing I had my oldest till she was 5 and my son till he was 2.5 both together until my son was around 16 months. Sorry just need to vent