i really need some one to help with our fight with xxxxx social services

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i really need some one to help with our fight with xxxxx social services

Post by gunnar » Mon Apr 06, 2020 2:36 pm

hello its xxxxx and xxxxx xxxxx from xxxxxxxxx xxxxx xxxxx .
thank you for taking the time to listen and thank you for allowing us to tell our horrible experience and some background details about us so i will try be as painless but there are things that many may not like to know but be assured that it is all true its not a happy situation becoz of xxxxx social services disgusting treatment and stealing our 3 boys has had a massive effect on my wife's medical condition worse has clinical depression and this has affected our marriage and it has deteriorated massively what i am hoping to find someone who to change our life totally and to hopefully help get our children returned and to hopefully lead a happy family again

So firstly we have never been taken seriously even after a psychological evaluation and informed that i was a adequate parent and yet still the children have not been returned to our care and there constant attempts slanderous and disgusting unfounded accusations that my wife is constantly at risk of domestic abuse from me of which i have never and would never subject my wife to and the fact that up until 2017 i was a xxxxxx xxxxxxxx for more than 19 and half years in the xxxxxxx xxxx the social services made it totally unbearable for me to serve my country.

we are in a unhappy situation and my wife has clinical depression and a defence avoidance disorder / an avoidant personality disorder/ anxiety/and at time she has also felt claustrophobic and bad mood swings mental health problems and because of these problems our marriage has deteriorated massively but if you can help us in any way it would be appreciated after i have explained the situation I try to be a good honest man but we were absolutely and completely disgusted in the way we were treated with a total disregard pure heartless and incentive and callus ignorance of certain people that are meant to be professionals that there treatment towards me and my wife we are being constantly dismissed and ignored when trying point out where and when we have been lied to and lied about to and we have ignored constantly

We are subject to there constant disgusting lies and totally false statements thats were never proved or substantiated by any solid evidence which evaluated to pure hearsay of which me and my wife have on numerous occasions we have been able to show it to be another complete pack off lies of which once again we have on occasions been totally ignored and accused of being aggressive and argumentative when i have tried to stand up for are selves and me being a now xx xxxxxx im fighting the system for the right to have our children returned to our family home and again absolutely nothing has been done about the social workers connected to our case .

We would be grateful for your understanding i can give you the basic information we have lost family and friends since we have had trouble we don't have many friends come and spend time with us and on occasion we have been called scumbags for having the boys taken from us and we have never to done anything to deserve to have them taken away from us but unfortunately since the trouble we have been through its has ended up with us not have any sort of relationship with my family yes its a shame but and i was a loyal xxxxx xxxxxxx for over 19 and a half years and they forced me to give it up if you need to know any more details

We have 3 boys aged xx x & x years old but its not just about the emotional pain and misery and the fact that the social workers in xxxxx county and how they were massively and inappropriate and totally untruthful there practices that have been putting a massive amount of stress on me and my wife and our three boys they were taken from us wrongly and very unfairly through unnecessary false referrals that they have never proved and never had any evidence and the stress we've been put through for the last 5 half years now and its got to the point has affected my health and my wife’s health and in 2017 and because all this distress I had to give up my position in the x xxxxxx of the xxxxx xxxxx xxxxxx after 19 & half plus years of loyal service as a xxxxxxx.

Because of this trouble we have lost all our friends and we don't have many visitors that come and spend time with us and we have been called scum in the street for having the boys taken from us and we do not to deserve to have them taken from us in the first place and they made us go through a independent psychological assessment and my wife had some things that need to get therapy for clinical depression and other issues and was told that i am what they call an adequate parent for our children but they have made no effort to return the children to us and also we have had a independent person with knowledge of a legal background that we know and trust to have a look at our papers work and we have been informed us that the local social services have lied at every opportunity and been completely and harshly unfair with us in their dealings of our as they like to put it our case.

As for holidays we don't go anywhere since we have been together and we have not had honeymoon and we have been together for 8 years and been married for 5 years and has been hell so you can see now why we do not have much faith in human nature and now i hope you can understand where not looking for sympathy or pity.

I will admit to being so passionate about my children and that i love them so much i have at times ended up with me unfortunately and admittedly i have fiercely tried to stand my ground argued about our case with the social services workers but i will not willing to dive up on my boys and i will keep fighting to get our children back home and as of late we have been very lucky to have had two meetings with a miss xxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx who is the head of child services for xxxxx which has been slightly productive but we know that we need a massive amount of help to get the boys back home and are using my wife unfairly as a week and feeble excuse to condone the damage they have inflicted on my family and will not apologise for there callous vindictive actions and they are refusing to return our children back to there rightful home

Please do not hesitate to get in touch if there's anything else that you would like to know more about me or my wife please do ask we hopefully look forward to hearing from you may message us
Yours Sincerely
xx & xxx x xxxxx
Last edited by Suzie, FRG Adviser on Mon Apr 06, 2020 3:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: i really need some one to help with our fight with xxxxx social services

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Apr 09, 2020 6:50 pm

Dear gunnar

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

You set out in your post a very detailed explanation relating to your sons’ removal from your care. It appears that children’s services (the new name for social services) had been involved with your family for a considerable period of time. In your post you say they were involved for 5 and a half years. The reasons you have given in your post for children’s services concerns regarding the care of the children relates to issues of domestic violence although you deny this, and your wife’s mental health.

As your children are no longer in your care I assume that you have already been through care proceedings and final care orders made in favour of the local authority. The children are, I guess, now in long term foster care.

From your post it is clear that you believe that your children were wrongly removed. Unfortunately, I cannot really comment on this since I do not know all the concerns children’s services had regarding the care and well-being of the children. I am aware that if there are domestic issues in the home whether physical or not this can impact adversely on children’s emotional health.

Usually, children’s services are expected to work with families so they can work with them to address on any issues that are of concern regarding their parenting and any other matter within the family. Children’s services involvement can include that children being placed on child protection plans’ I am setting out here what could happen without knowledge of the full background of your case.

Children’s service often decide to apply to the court because they are view the family is not cooperating or working well enough to improve the situation for the children and they continue to have safeguarding concerns about the children within the family environment.

From your post you set out the impact the involvement with children services has had on your wider family relationships as well as friends. I am sure it must be very difficult for you and your wife to be in this situation whilst also having to cope with your children not being with you.

You and your wife would have been entitled to have separate legal representation in the court case. Assessments including the psychological assessment to which you refer in your post would have be done. These assessment would make recommendations regarding the children and the care the parents are able to give them. All of this evidence, including children’s services, as well as that from you and your wife would have been available to the judge who would make the final decision.

I know from your post that you do not agree with the decision and want to have your sons back in your care. It is helpful that you are now able to see some progress with the new social worker. I suggest you continue with this as positively as you can.

If it is the case that the case has not yet ended then, my advice would be for you and your wife to engage with children’s services to show that you are able to make the changes which could mean your children may be returned to your care. However, if as I assume, the case has finished, then the way to work towards the children being reunited with their parents would be for you and your wife to address the concerns that led to the order being made. You would need to show the court that there has been significant change or changes and the concerns are no longer an issue. Please see our advice sheet Reuniting children in the care system with their families. I hope that you and your wife are having contact with your children as this would be important to show that the relationship is being maintained.

You may also find it helpful to read our advice sheet Duties on Children’s Services when children are in the care system.

I am able to offer advice through this forum but Family Rights Group do not take on cases.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

I hope this helps.

Best wishes


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Joined: Sat Jan 25, 2020 1:20 am

Re: i really need some one to help with our fight with xxxxx social services

Post by JS3120 » Sun Apr 26, 2020 12:30 am

Hi, it's very sad reading your story, I can only imagine what your going through. I have had a bad experience with social services and there lies but nothing as bad as you.

My advise to you and anyone else, always communicate via email so it's written and logged, make sure you keep every email.

When they visit record them with your phone, before they come round just send an email to the manager stating your doing this and your reasons and make it clear it's for your personal use only. If they then want to send 2 workers round, you only have to let one in, do not be bullied, once they know you record trust me they will be very careful what they say. Never speak on the phone unless your recording.

Go through the councils complaints procedure, you be able to see how to do this online, you would just send an email stating complaint to the complaints manager and follow there stages.

Go to your local MP for help and try a councillor, you can get this info online.

Get all the evidence from GP etc for your wife's condition, keep everything, photocopy everything etc.

Ring the law society for solictors to help.

These people are awful and get away with everything, work with them but do not tell them to much even if they ask, it's so easy to say things then they twist it, recording them will stop the lies.

Good luck

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: i really need some one to help with our fight with xxxxx social services

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Apr 29, 2020 2:40 pm

Dear JS3120

Welcome to the parents discussion forum and thanks for your posts.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I see from your posts that you have responded to several old posts on the forum. The forum is for parents share views and seek support from others in similar circumstances. I posting a response here which takes account of your posts.

Whilst I do understand that for many parents having children’s services involvement can be distressing and upsetting, I think it is important also to understand that children’s services have a statutory due to make enquiries where they have received referrals regarding children may require support or for whom there are safeguarding concerns. Children’s services should work with families to try and help to resolve any concerns they have about keeping children safe in their home environment. Please our advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services

Children’s services have guidelines to follow and are required to be transparent and give families the clear information. There is an expectation that parents or other family members with whom children may be living will also engage with children’s services in an open and honest way. This way of working is more helpful and beneficial on both sides to the extent that children’s services can work with the family to satisfy themselves that the concerns have been addressed and, for the family to have the support they need to continue caring for their children safely within the home environment. Working together to Safeguard children relates to the statutory framework under which children’s services work

As with everything, it does not always go well either because families believe that social workers are not engaging or working with them in a fair way, or children’s services think the family is not cooperating with their enquiries. In both cases, trying to speak to each other about concerns early on to establish to good working relationship is most helpful. Otherwise, it becomes difficult and parent might feel unable to trust the process. It is possible to bring concerns to the attention of the social worker or, if preferred, to the team manager to clear up any misunderstandings. There is also a complaints procedure that is there to be used when things are not done properly or other concerns arise.

I do understand that many parents, because of the posts on this forum, feel that it not the reality of the process for them and this is why I have advised that dealing with it early on is most helpful. A good working relationship can often lead to the best outcomes for families.

The advice you have given regarding putting things in writing is helpful because it prevents misunderstandings on both sides. If a parent wishes to record a meeting it is best to inform the social worker of the intention to do so. It may be helpful to contact the Transparency Project for information about recording.

I do hope this will help to address some of the concerns about working with children’s services should they become involved with your family.

Best wishes


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