Family supervised contact in a contact centre

[Truly]

Hello, please I need guidance and advice on how to go about this. After my parenting assessment report came out positive, and my husband has completed his DV course which was also positive. My SS has discussed with us separately about having supervised contact together with my child in a contact centre with plans of getting us reunited back as a family into our family home. At present, I and my husband live separately because of DV allegations against him. But he has contact with our child twice a week. Every professional involved in our case, have all left positive feedback about me and also my husband but am worried my social worker has never been honest with me, she has always tried to look for fault in all I do and give false report just to frustrate us getting together. I have read about similar case, where at the end of family supervised contact the social worker might advice never to get back together. I am scared I can't trust her, I believe in my parenting skills and my husband as well is a good father and husband, we honestly only had financial disagreement which lead is to this point. I am worried that my social worker is only playing with our emotions trying to make us believe we will be back together if the contact goes well but at the same time when I have meetings with her she tries to convince me not to return. My child is still on cpp.

Please are there any family that has gone through this and was reunited? I only see negative write up about this online. I really want to stay positive. I believe hearing from those who are familiar with issue like mine, would really help boost my confidence.

Also, please any advice on what we could do with our child who is just 3year old during the contact?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Truly

Thanks for posting again.

Well done having had a positive parenting assessment and it is good that your husband has also done his DV course. It seems that you have both been doing well and engaging with professionals.

You say that you are worried about what the social worker has told you and whether there is a real chance of you and your husband being reunited. Your worry relates to what your social work may have said or done in the past. The fact is you have now had a positive parenting assessment.

I assume that what you and your husband has done were part of the child protection plan and that there was a suggestion that if you both worked well and had positive outcomes that consideration would be given to whether you can be together on the basis that your son will be safe.

Your husband has been having contact and everything is going well. I think you may be worrying unnecessarily. I note from your first post that you believed the person doing your parenting assessment wanted to find fault with you and yet you had a positive parenting assessment. I think it would be best for you to concentrate on doing what is asked of you under the child protection plan and not cause yourself to worry too much.

A decision has been made that you have contact together as a family, this is to assess that there are no issues between you and that you are both able to work together to ensure that your child is safe and has an enjoyable time at contact with you both.
You child is still on the child protection plan and you have had review conferences. There was no suggestion that things were not going well and that your child could not remain in your care. It seems that things have moved forward to you and your husband having joint time with your son.

If contact goes well and there are no issues between you and your husband which causes concern about what things would be like when you are together in the home, it is likely that what you have been told will happen rather than you thinking the social worker is telling you one thing when intending that something else should happen. The social worker is not the only person involved in the decision making and other professionals are able to express their views as you have seen in the child protection conferences.

You are thinking the social worker is telling you one thing when intending that something else should happen. The social worker is not the only person involved in the decision making and other professionals are able to express their views as you have seen in the child protection conferences. Try to think more positively about your situation. A lot of posters on this forum want to hear from the social worker that they can reunite and you have been told this can happen subject to good contact happening. My suggestion is that you work towards this.

Regarding what you can do with your child at contact, maybe you can take age appropriate magazines and toys with you. Is there a children’s programme that he particularly like, e.g paw patrol – you can do things related to that programme. Take healthy snacks. You could do finger painting or use play dough or Lego bricks to build things.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please do telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Truly]

Thank you Susie and every other persons here that has given me advice and encouragement. I will keep you all updated with my case.