Experiences of sex offender living with baby

[Need help 2021]

Hi I just wanted some advice so if my husband is a low risk offferder will he be allowed to say with me and my son as a family someone one in a whats app group been sending under age video he didn’t request any but he had to ple guilty as it was on his phone in the group chat and got save to the gallery as the setting were auto save

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Need help 2021,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I will be responding to you today.

You would like advice about what might happen if your husband is placed on the sex offenders register - specifically whether children’s services would allow him to stay living with you and your son in the family home. You don’t say what kind of involvement you have with children’s services at the moment – I presume that they have received a referral from the police and have begun an assessment process?

I hope that the following is helpful to you.

Children’s services are highly likely to complete a risk assessment on your husband given the nature of the content he has been found with. This risk assessment would consider whether it would be safe for your husband live at home and whether a safety plan needs to be put in place. Although your husband may end up being categorised as ‘low risk’ on the sex offenders register, children’s services will make their own assessment of the level of risk they believe is posed to your son. Being on the sex offenders register does not necessarily mean children’s services will suggest that your husband can’t return home – it will be dependent on their risk assessment of your family’s particular situation. Children’s services may take information from professionals involved in order to complete their assessment. This might include a probation officer and/or a police officer responsible for any SHPOs (sexual harm prevention orders). The risk assessment would also consider your safeguarding capacity and responses to this situation. It is important for you to co-operate with the risk assessment process and work with children’s services towards the best outcome for your son and family as a whole. Here is a link to our guide for working with social workers which you may find helpful.

It is important to understand that although children’s services do not have the legal authority to say that your husband cannot live at home, if they do advise this and you go against their advice this may escalate their concerns about the risk of harm posed to your son. You should make sure that you are clear about what the consequences might be if your husband returns home against the advice of children’s services. You should make sure that you have a clear conversation with the social worker about this and ask them to put it in writing to you.

Your husband may wish to consider accessing support from organisations which work with people who are worried about their own sexual thoughts or behaviour towards children, including online behaviour. The Lucy Faithfull Foundation and Stop it now! organisations offer this support. The Lucy Faithful Foundation also offers support to the partners of sex offenders so you may find it helpful to take a look at their website as well.

I hope you find this helpful and should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday. You are also welcome to post again in this forum.
Best wishes,
Suzie

[Need help 2021]

Hi thank you for replying back socail services got involved in April when my just got changed for indecent images which was found on his Whts app group chat were people sent it and the mistake he made was he forwarded to his friend on Facebook messenger and said to his friend look what is going on in this world and the account got closed . He then later got arrested in December 2018 and came out on bail under investigation the police did not charge him for distribution which they could have the charged hun for possession. What my concern is now he had to gjj ok to the police station to notify last week and has he has been tould to plea guilty he has done that because even he didn’t ask for the images the fact is that it’s on his phone we have to have court hearing year month but at the moment there are desideubg to we need findfact hearing or not but I don’t understand if he has plea guilty why will he need a find fact hearing can’t they go on to the assessment which makes more sense and even the report shows from the criminal solicitor that he did not such or request and such of video . I wanted to know when lucky faithful do his assessment will they decide the risk and then give the information to the judge or judge make the decision dession thank you .

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Need help 2021

Thank you for your further post.

You have now given more information relating to your husband’s offence in respect of indecent images on his WhatsApp group.

It is not clear from your post what the position is since you say your husband has been told to plead guilty and he has done so. If he has given a guilty plea, it is not clear why there is to be a fact-finding hearing in his criminal case. Perhaps it would be best to discuss this with the solicitor dealing with the criminal case. Perhaps the assessment to be carried out by Lucy Faithfull is to provide information in respect of sentencing as he pleaded guilty to possession. They will be able to give an opinion on the level of risk they believe he is likely to pose.

In civil cases, for example, in the family court, a factfinding hearing it is the judge who makes the findings after hearing and looking at the evidence in the case. I am not able to advice you on a criminal case but suppose it would be the same in a criminal case.

I hope this helps but if you would like to speak to an adviser about children’s services involvement, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open Monday to Friday 9.30m to 3pm.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Need help 2021]

Thank you for your reply so far at the moment there are looking at the proof that the police have the what’s app group chat and I have come to know that he has forwarded on the the group cat b videos in teams of that how will the risk assessment me done and will I be asked to separate from him because I don’t think socail service will let him stay supervised.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Need help 2021,

Thankyou for your further post. I see that you also posted a similar query in another thread on the same day so will respond to both here.

Children’s services will need to complete a risk assessment regardless of the outcome of your husband’s criminal case. The criminal case is separate to the assessment completed by children’s services. Criminal law works on a ‘beyond reasonable doubt’ threshold whereas children’s services work on a ‘balance of probabilities’ threshold. Your husband may or may not be found guilty of the alleged crimes, however regardless of the outcome children’s services will undertake an assessment about the potential risk to your children. A large part of this assessment will consider how well you are able to protect the children from this risk.
I cannot make guesses as to what the outcome of the assessment might be and whether children’s services will feel that it is or is not appropriate for your husband to return to the family home or have unsupervised contact with the children. I would advise you to continue working in partnership with children’s services to reach the best outcome for your children.

I hope this helps but if you would like to speak to an adviser about children’s services involvement, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open Monday to Friday 9.30m to 3pm.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Patchworkrocket]

Hi everyone
I am not sure if anyone on here will be able to help me or offer any advice, but here goes.

I am wondering if there is families out there where a registered sex offender with convictions against children lives with their family?

I have been advised by my solicitor that I should just give up my fight Place my son for adoption saying it is not Posible for us to be a family. That “it just doesn’t happen”

So is that correct or are there families who are still together and should I keep fighting?

So a little about our situation:

My partner has convictions for possession of images from quite a long time ago.
It was never an issue in our relationship as we don’t have much involvement with children and I have been told since a young age that I couldn’t have children. Well low and behold I got pregnant.

My partner never served time but has done rehabilitation courses and is on the register. He has always complied with his order and worked with his visor. There is no immediate risk of him reoffending as they put it.

So social services said that under normal circumstances it would be no unsupervised contact. We were both fine with this.

They have now said that this is not an option due to me being disabled. I am blind autistic and have a very rare nerve condition.

He is my sighted guide does a lot of reading for me as you can imagine and takes me places I can’t see to go on my own. He is also my advocate when I go mute with my autism.
When I have a flare up of my nerve condition he picks up the slack around the house.

Social services have asked him to leave the family home
Adult services say that he can’t move out as he is my support and carer when I need him to be.

Child services say I can’t have son on my own because of my disabilities and I can’t have my son if my partner lives with me

I have the solicitor saying if the court ordered adult services to provide support I’d get it.

However I’ve been through the support through court process before and it gets removed after budget cuts then back to court to fight for it back again.

From my research this is a regular pattern of disabled parents one woman went to court 5 times in 12 years to fight to keep her child

That is no life

So do I keep fighting to keep the family together for my partner to help me for me to raise our child with no unsupervised contact or keep fighting every 2 years to keep our sone and support or just give up and place him for adoption?

The guilt is overwhelming knowing that I can’t care for my son on my own and I’m struggling to find support and if there are examples where the family do stay together.

I know that every family is different and risk levels and offences and so on may be different and so on.
I guess I’m just looking for hope.

Thank you in advance if anyone can help we really appreciate any help and advice given.

[Toughlife]

I was convicted last year for an attempt to sexual communicate with a minor (though this was a woman pretending to be a child in an adult chat room). I am in the register for 10 years. I was given a suspended sentence and am still in probation. After 3 months of probation my officer made a referral to social services asking them to allow me unsupervised access to my kids and this was granted. Keep asking them and don’t give up.

[Need help 2021]

Hi wanted to ask was you and your wife asked to separate at all and if she doesn’t she is not being a protective factor?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi everyone
I am not sure if anyone on here will be able to help me or offer any advice, but here goes.

I am wondering if there is families out there where a registered sex offender with convictions against children lives with their family?

I have been advised by my solicitor that I should just give up my fight Place my son for adoption saying it is not Posible for us to be a family. That “it just doesn’t happen”

So is that correct or are there families who are still together and should I keep fighting?

So a little about our situation:

My partner has convictions for possession of images from quite a long time ago.
It was never an issue in our relationship as we don’t have much involvement with children and I have been told since a young age that I couldn’t have children. Well low and behold I got pregnant.

My partner never served time but has done rehabilitation courses and is on the register. He has always complied with his order and worked with his visor. There is no immediate risk of him reoffending as they put it.

So social services said that under normal circumstances it would be no unsupervised contact. We were both fine with this.

They have now said that this is not an option due to me being disabled. I am blind autistic and have a very rare nerve condition.

He is my sighted guide does a lot of reading for me as you can imagine and takes me places I can’t see to go on my own. He is also my advocate when I go mute with my autism.
When I have a flare up of my nerve condition he picks up the slack around the house.

Social services have asked him to leave the family home
Adult services say that he can’t move out as he is my support and carer when I need him to be.

Child services say I can’t have son on my own because of my disabilities and I can’t have my son if my partner lives with me

I have the solicitor saying if the court ordered adult services to provide support I’d get it.

However I’ve been through the support through court process before and it gets removed after budget cuts then back to court to fight for it back again.

From my research this is a regular pattern of disabled parents one woman went to court 5 times in 12 years to fight to keep her child

That is no life

So do I keep fighting to keep the family together for my partner to help me for me to raise our child with no unsupervised contact or keep fighting every 2 years to keep our sone and support or just give up and place him for adoption?

The guilt is overwhelming knowing that I can’t care for my son on my own and I’m struggling to find support and if there are examples where the family do stay together.

I know that every family is different and risk levels and offences and so on may be different and so on.
I guess I’m just looking for hope.

Thank you in advance if anyone can help we really appreciate any help and advice given.

Dear Patchworkrocket

Thank you for your post and welcome to the Board.

Your situation as you say is a difficult one and the advice your solicitor has given does not, at this time, seem positive. However, since the baby is unborn may I ask whether all of your ‘options’ have been explored?

Has there been an opportunity for you to have a family group conference here, on our website is some advice about these?

Has any member of your (or your partner’s) family or friends been approached to be assessed to care for your child, here on our website is information about this type of assessment.

The Working Together Parents Network may be able to give you some advice about supporting disabled parents to care for their children, here is a link to their website.

Here on our website is helpful information about care and related proceedings.

Here is some information from a charity called Unlock for your partner, and a charity that may be useful to you is Lucy Faithfull.

Other disabilities you mention in your post relate to autism and sight loss, I imagine that you may be aware of charities working in these areas, National Autistic Society, the RNIB and Sense, however, I hope they can be helpful to you.

Best wishes
Suzie