Domestic violence

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Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2018 8:35 pm

Domestic violence

Post by K2707 » Thu Jan 11, 2018 12:55 pm

Hi just after some advice please basically my partner got arrested for domestic violence on 22nd december and wasnt charged after being homw with me and the kids for 12 days ss shiws up and instructs him to leave immedietly weve been together for 12 years and 3 kids and have had a living relationship and this is the first thing thats ever happend and was alcahol related since ss have been involed he can only see the kids supervised at his mums which only got put in place 2 days ago has anyone been in a sinular situation and can anyone tell me what happens now as ss have just split my family up and left us with no contact now for a week thankyou

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Domestic violence

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Jan 19, 2018 5:32 pm

Dear K2707

Welcome to the Parents’ Discussion Board and thank you for your post.

My name is Suzje, online adviser at Family Rights Group. I am sorry to see that you are feeling worried and distressed about recent events and children’s services involvement your family.

I see that your husband was arrested in December following an incident of domestic violence but was not charged by the police. What you may not be aware of is the fact that if the police to a home where there is domestic violence and there are children, a referral will automatically be made to children services.

Children’s services will remain involved even if the police decide to take no further action following the arrest. this is because the police and children's services are looking at different things. The police is seeking evidence to bring a successful prosecution and children's services concern about safeguarding children.

Domestic violence in a home with children always raises concerns for children’s service because of the impact that this can have children’s emotional health. Once children’s services receive a referral they have to make a decision how they are going to deal with the case. The social worker should have informed you of what action was being taken and why. Please see our advice sheet introduction to children's services, which explains what happens when children’s service receives a referral. You can also read here information on our website about domestic violence.

It may be that the social worker is carrying out an assessment has decided that this should be done whilst he, as the perpetrator of domestic violence, is not in the home. You say that the incident happened because alcohol was involved. This will be of concern as well. Children’s services’ concern will include the use of alcohol and whether this poses a problem for your partner or you.

Research shows that children who are live in an environment where domestic violence exists are likely to suffer harm even if they do not witness the violence. Although you say the incident that happened was the only one, it is the case that often there are incidents which might not be reported to the police. Lack of reporting does not necessarily mean that no domestic abuse is not happening.

Please read information here from our website about domestic violence. This should help you to understand better the concerns that children services have about your family at the moment.

I would be more concerned if there had been no contact arranged for the children with their father. You can ask the social worker to explain which assessment being carried out and the timescale for the assessment to be finished. It is also important that the social worker explains what you and your husband are expected to do to ensure the children are safeguarded in the home.

I am including copies of our advice sheets relating to the two assessments that children’s services could do. Firstly, , family support where a child in need assessment is being carried out and child protection procedures . You should get an idea of the procedures involved.

The social worker may suggest that you consider a attending a domestic violence court and your partner as well. You could contact women’s aid on 0808 200 0247 and your partner a service for perpetrators of domestic violence Respect 0808 802 4040. You should both cooperate with the social worker doing the assessment and ask questions if you are not clear about anything.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our free, confidential advice line 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes


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Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2021 4:37 pm

Re: Domestic violence

Post by Mum83 » Mon Jun 14, 2021 6:40 pm

Hi need some advice ,
I’m 37 and have been in a relationship with my partner for 7 years now , nearly 10 years ago I lost both my girls due DV and my my drug use , my older daughter went to her father and his Family and my younger daughter was placed in long term care until she is 18 but was placed with my Aunt , I have had amazing contact with both girls unsupervised and overnight supervision stays at my mothers , I gave up drugs 8 years ago and started working , unfortunately Me and my partner had some really bad DV all while drunk , my girls obviously did not witnesses this , THANK GOD this has happened around 5 times and police was involved the DV was on both parts, last year was the worst , be and my partner have stopped drinking and he has stopped smoking weed , something that we often and fights over and would really like to start a family as my partner doesn’t have children, how will all of this effect us ,
Thank you xxxx
Last edited by Suzie, FRG Adviser on Tue Jun 15, 2021 9:23 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Moderated to protect anonymity

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