Dear Lovelylady
Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser.
Your partner is in prison due to breaching his licence following a custodial sentence for domestic violence. You would like to resume your relationship when he is released but are concerned about the potential involvement of children’s services as you have a child. You are wondering what will happen and wanting to decide how to proceed. You are being a responsible parent by thinking things through and wanting to make an informed decision.
Unfortunately, we cannot predict the outcome of an assessment but can say that children’s services are likely to want to undertake an assessment in view of your partner’s history; both the original offence and that he breached the terms of his licence. They will need to assess any risk of harm to your son from your partner. They would also assess your ability to keep your son safe and will look to you to be a protective parent. Until now you have not allowed your partner to meet your son, which was protective of you.
You may find our children’s services page useful as they explain the different processes involved and potential outcomes when social workers become involved with your family.
Here is an explanation of why children’s services are concerned about how domestic violence harms children (and their parent if they are a victim of domestic violence). They will also consider how a person’s previous behaviour can be an indicator of future behaviour so if your partner has been violent in the past they will be worried that he may behave violently again.
These FAQs may answer some of the questions you have about children’s services’ involvement due to domestic violence.
You may find it helpful to talk to a domestic violence service about the situation to help you explore some of the issues raised by your partner’s history. You can find their contact details here.
If you do resume a relationship with your partner when he comes out of prison then you will need to be prepared to work with children’s services and to show how you are able to prioritise your son’s needs and keep him safe.
If children’s services become involved with you and your son then you may find these tips on working with social workers helpful.
I hope this is helpful. You are welcome to post back or call the freephone advice helpline on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, if social workers become involved in the future.
Best wishes
Suzie
Social services involvement
Re: Social services involvement
Isn't there anyone else to reply apart from Suzie? She is so in cohesion with Social Services and yet another "professional" who believes social services are angels. They are not. Suzie says to be open and honest with them and cooperate, is that a joke? You open up to them and they then use EVERYTHING you've said against you! They make reports that are full of assumptions and lies. They twist everything. They rip families apart yet keep the kids who are being abused with their family. The whole system is shambolic and anyone that believes social services can be trusted are simply delusional. I had an assessment written about my family recently, the assessment wasn't done with me (as you don't have to comply, they need your consent yet they will never tell you that) and it was full of assumptions based on "historical events" They've used my mental health against me time and time again. The damage they're causing my Autistic Son who's 15 (and has told them time and time again he is happy and wants to stay with us) and the child's views apparently holding a lot of weight is rubbish. They're completely ignoring what he wants because they love to get their own way, control, manipulate and stress you out to the point of being a nervous wreck. More and more people are standing up to these bullies and they have tried to silence me by threatening me and it won't work. They cannot be trusted and they will NEVER change or learn from their mistakes. My neighbours now know confidential information and that we have social services involved due to the **** social worker who decided it was a good idea to discuss personal and confidential things about us on the doorstep. Please don't be afraid to say no to their demands and don't be afraid to speak out and defend yourself if needed. Best wishes x
Edited by Suzie due to breach of rules
Edited by Suzie due to breach of rules
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4238
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Social services involvement
Dear Mummyof2x,
Welcome to the parents’ forum and thankyou for your post.
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a bad experience with children’s services and I hope that the advice below is of some help to you. I would like to clarify that Family Rights Group are an independent charity who are not linked to any children’s services. We offer advice to people who would like to know more about their rights and options when they have children’s services involvement and we work independently from children’s services.
You say that the social worker discussed confidential matters on your doorstep which meant that your neighbours could hear. This is very poor practice and social workers should ensure that they do not disclose any confidential or personal information unless they have consent, or unless sharing that information will keep a child safe from harm (see government Information Sharing Guidance). If you have not done so already you may wish to make a formal complaint regarding this. We have a section on our website here which gives more information about how to do this.
You say that your son is not being listened to by the social worker. If your children are subject to child protection plans then they may be entitled to an advocate. An advocate works independently of children’s services and helps to make sure the child’s views are heard. They can also help the child make formal complaints and inform them about their rights. You may wish to discuss this with the social worker, their manager or the conference chair and ask for a referral to be made. Your son may also wish to refer himself – he could call Coram Voice on 0808 800 5792 to do so.
You say that an assessment was recently completed, however you did not give consent and were not involved in this, and say that it is full of assumptions. Children’s services must get the consent of at least one person with parental responsibility to carry out a child in need assessment, however if they have concerns that the child is suffering significant harm then they must by law carry out a child protection investigation (regardless of whether the parent(s) consent to this). However they must involve the parent(s) whilst completing the investigation and share information with them – please see more information here about this. You can also see our website here for information about what a high-quality assessment should look like. You may wish to challenge information within the assessment. If so then you can find more information about how to do this here.
Hopefully some other parents on here will be able to offer some advice but I hope that the above is also of some help. Please post again if you have any further queries, or you can call our helpline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak with one of our advisers.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ forum and thankyou for your post.
I am sorry to hear that you have had such a bad experience with children’s services and I hope that the advice below is of some help to you. I would like to clarify that Family Rights Group are an independent charity who are not linked to any children’s services. We offer advice to people who would like to know more about their rights and options when they have children’s services involvement and we work independently from children’s services.
You say that the social worker discussed confidential matters on your doorstep which meant that your neighbours could hear. This is very poor practice and social workers should ensure that they do not disclose any confidential or personal information unless they have consent, or unless sharing that information will keep a child safe from harm (see government Information Sharing Guidance). If you have not done so already you may wish to make a formal complaint regarding this. We have a section on our website here which gives more information about how to do this.
You say that your son is not being listened to by the social worker. If your children are subject to child protection plans then they may be entitled to an advocate. An advocate works independently of children’s services and helps to make sure the child’s views are heard. They can also help the child make formal complaints and inform them about their rights. You may wish to discuss this with the social worker, their manager or the conference chair and ask for a referral to be made. Your son may also wish to refer himself – he could call Coram Voice on 0808 800 5792 to do so.
You say that an assessment was recently completed, however you did not give consent and were not involved in this, and say that it is full of assumptions. Children’s services must get the consent of at least one person with parental responsibility to carry out a child in need assessment, however if they have concerns that the child is suffering significant harm then they must by law carry out a child protection investigation (regardless of whether the parent(s) consent to this). However they must involve the parent(s) whilst completing the investigation and share information with them – please see more information here about this. You can also see our website here for information about what a high-quality assessment should look like. You may wish to challenge information within the assessment. If so then you can find more information about how to do this here.
Hopefully some other parents on here will be able to offer some advice but I hope that the above is also of some help. Please post again if you have any further queries, or you can call our helpline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak with one of our advisers.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Re: Social services involvement
Hi I’m new to this so bare with me please as I’ve never had social involvement previously.
I’m a mum of 3 children and pregnant with my 4th now I’m 24 weeks.
My partner of a year had an incident with his ex of 5 weeks involving harm to a child what my partner and his ex claim was an accident. He was taken to the hospital 24 hours later when it happened so any evidence had faded (child was placed in a hot bath) so the medics said him and his ex wasn’t telling the truth because the redness has faded by the time they took him. My partner admitted from the beginning he placed the child in the bath because the ex told him the bath was ready. The judge said it was either done purposely with hot water or carelessly. So of course ss got involved with me and my children because of the concerns. We had a police call out before the findings were made on my partner and his ex due to an argument we had which then it went from child in need to child protection. Since then we have been completing courses for the last 9 months. My partner has completed his risk assessments. And might be doing a parenting course. I’ve been asked to do a psychological assessment due to being able to understand the findings and protect my children from potential future harm. And another about my childhood and past relationships as I had DV also 3 years ago. My partner has also been asked to do another assessment about the findings made on him.
We have said we don’t mind someone supervising contact in the meantime until I’ve done my assessments then if I pass I can supervise myself. I just need some advice on were we stand as social services seem to not believe my partner that the incident in his previous relationship was an accident but he wants to prove to them it was. He’s done absolutely everything for me and the kids since he was told he wasn’t allowed around the kids by supporting us financially etc. we are allowed to see each other when I manage to get a babysitter for now. Can you help please as I feel like it’s never ending. Thank you
I’m a mum of 3 children and pregnant with my 4th now I’m 24 weeks.
My partner of a year had an incident with his ex of 5 weeks involving harm to a child what my partner and his ex claim was an accident. He was taken to the hospital 24 hours later when it happened so any evidence had faded (child was placed in a hot bath) so the medics said him and his ex wasn’t telling the truth because the redness has faded by the time they took him. My partner admitted from the beginning he placed the child in the bath because the ex told him the bath was ready. The judge said it was either done purposely with hot water or carelessly. So of course ss got involved with me and my children because of the concerns. We had a police call out before the findings were made on my partner and his ex due to an argument we had which then it went from child in need to child protection. Since then we have been completing courses for the last 9 months. My partner has completed his risk assessments. And might be doing a parenting course. I’ve been asked to do a psychological assessment due to being able to understand the findings and protect my children from potential future harm. And another about my childhood and past relationships as I had DV also 3 years ago. My partner has also been asked to do another assessment about the findings made on him.
We have said we don’t mind someone supervising contact in the meantime until I’ve done my assessments then if I pass I can supervise myself. I just need some advice on were we stand as social services seem to not believe my partner that the incident in his previous relationship was an accident but he wants to prove to them it was. He’s done absolutely everything for me and the kids since he was told he wasn’t allowed around the kids by supporting us financially etc. we are allowed to see each other when I manage to get a babysitter for now. Can you help please as I feel like it’s never ending. Thank you
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4238
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Social services involvement
Dear Charl,
Welcome to the parents’ board and thank you for your post.
You say in your post that you have 3 children and are currently 24 pregnant with your fourth child.
You say your partner was involved in an incident with his ex-partner which resulted in a child being harmed. This incident resulted in children’s services initiating court proceedings in respect of that child. Your partner admitted that he had placed the child in a hot bath and that judge ruled that this either happened carelessly or on purpose. Due to this, children’s services are now involved with your children. Prior to the findings made by the judge, the police attended your home due to an argument you had with your partner, which resulted in your children being placed on a child protection plan.
You say that over the last 9 months, you and your partner having been completing some courses. Your partner has completed a risk assessment and you have been asked to do a psychological assessment regarding the findings made about your partner and another assessment regarding your previous relationships which include DV. Your partner has been asked to do an assessment on the findings made about him.
You say that you do not mind contact being supervised until these assessments have been completed. You say that children’s services do not believe your partner when he says the incident in his previous relationship was an accident and that you are allowed to see each other when you get a babysitter. You would like some advice on where you stand.
From your post, it appears that children’s services are concerned about your partner’s behaviour – both because of the previous incident that you describe and because of an argument that took place in the home. This has resulted in your children being placed on a child protection plan – this means that the social worker and other professionals are concerned that your children have suffered significant harm or are at risk of significant harm.
It is positive to hear that you and your partner have engaged in some support. You say your partner has undergone a risk assessment – did this include assessing and making recommendations about contact? From what you say, shildren’s services do not think it is safe for your partner to have contact with your children currently. It is important that you understand why children’s services have made this recommendation. You may want to speak to the social worker about steps that your partner can take to demonstrate that it may be safe for him to have contact – please remember, your partner has no right to contact with your children and the social worker’s main priority is the welfare of your children. It is possible that the social worker may not think it is safe for your partner to be around your children and they will expect you to show insight into any worries and to act in the capacity of a protective parent.
If you have any concerns about the progression of the child protection plan, or think that you are being treated unfairly, you may want to consider speaking to the team manager or to the independent child protection chair.
You may also find it helpful to take a look at our page on child protection procedures here.
Best wishes,
Suzie.
Welcome to the parents’ board and thank you for your post.
You say in your post that you have 3 children and are currently 24 pregnant with your fourth child.
You say your partner was involved in an incident with his ex-partner which resulted in a child being harmed. This incident resulted in children’s services initiating court proceedings in respect of that child. Your partner admitted that he had placed the child in a hot bath and that judge ruled that this either happened carelessly or on purpose. Due to this, children’s services are now involved with your children. Prior to the findings made by the judge, the police attended your home due to an argument you had with your partner, which resulted in your children being placed on a child protection plan.
You say that over the last 9 months, you and your partner having been completing some courses. Your partner has completed a risk assessment and you have been asked to do a psychological assessment regarding the findings made about your partner and another assessment regarding your previous relationships which include DV. Your partner has been asked to do an assessment on the findings made about him.
You say that you do not mind contact being supervised until these assessments have been completed. You say that children’s services do not believe your partner when he says the incident in his previous relationship was an accident and that you are allowed to see each other when you get a babysitter. You would like some advice on where you stand.
From your post, it appears that children’s services are concerned about your partner’s behaviour – both because of the previous incident that you describe and because of an argument that took place in the home. This has resulted in your children being placed on a child protection plan – this means that the social worker and other professionals are concerned that your children have suffered significant harm or are at risk of significant harm.
It is positive to hear that you and your partner have engaged in some support. You say your partner has undergone a risk assessment – did this include assessing and making recommendations about contact? From what you say, shildren’s services do not think it is safe for your partner to have contact with your children currently. It is important that you understand why children’s services have made this recommendation. You may want to speak to the social worker about steps that your partner can take to demonstrate that it may be safe for him to have contact – please remember, your partner has no right to contact with your children and the social worker’s main priority is the welfare of your children. It is possible that the social worker may not think it is safe for your partner to be around your children and they will expect you to show insight into any worries and to act in the capacity of a protective parent.
If you have any concerns about the progression of the child protection plan, or think that you are being treated unfairly, you may want to consider speaking to the team manager or to the independent child protection chair.
You may also find it helpful to take a look at our page on child protection procedures here.
Best wishes,
Suzie.
Re: Social services involvement
Hi Suzie
Thank you for replying. I have no had the manager round to see and explain things better for me and everything is going right. Thank you for your reply though
Thank you for replying. I have no had the manager round to see and explain things better for me and everything is going right. Thank you for your reply though
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