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My 4 years with children services

ange301126
Posts: 537
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:27 pm

Re: My 4 years with children services

Post by ange301126 » Fri Apr 04, 2014 9:14 am

Dear blueplain,it sounds like the social worker's claim is unrealistic and misinformed. Were you given the opportunity to respond, express yor disagreements and will they be circulated amongst relevant professionals. It is possible that your son said no such thing.
Did the s.w. record it?. Did anyone else witness it?

Why don't you get a tape recorder and question your son in the same context in front of a reliable witness and see what he says. Then ask questions such as 'do you love your Dad? When have I hurt you? Did you tell anyone I hurt you?

As I have said on my discussion thread, unrecorded hearsay comments are stock-in-trade to social workers who present them as formal statements under conditions of anodyne bureaucracy.Once inputted into a computer they are regarded as true for evermore even when they aren't. You should nip it in the bud.

blueplain
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 11:07 am

Re: My 4 years with children services

Post by blueplain » Fri Apr 04, 2014 9:29 am

Thanks anxious and ange

My son who said the comment is 8, I asked him why he said that and he says it was when I stood on his foot by accident, that's why he compares it to other accidents.

Something very strange is also occurring with my 6 year olds presentation. I went to school today with the book bag that was reported stinking of dog wee. I took it to the principle and she smelled it and she said it smells like a normal bag. She also asked his teacher and he had no issues with his presentation and it's his personal assistant he gets 1 to 1 with for his statement that is giving the smell and dirt reports. Her observations have not been backed up and the principle is concerned that these allegations may be false.

So it's just all crazy, it's now 5 years since the social worker knocked on and we are still getting these out of the blue issues that delays the process and prolong the constant stress. It's going to send us mad if this goes on for another year.

charmed1
Posts: 144
Joined: Sun May 26, 2013 1:11 pm

Re: My 4 years with children services

Post by charmed1 » Fri Apr 04, 2014 12:40 pm

Dear blueplain. What you have said rings true to what happened to us. Our son aged then 3 was questioned in a side room in his nursery by the social worker. He was reported to have said that his Dad is always angry and that he hit him. His Dad underwent anger management and did raise his voice too much. But in no way "all the time". As for hitting. An occasional smack but no more.

Our daughter has special needs and terrible tantrums. I held her upper arms and shoulders while she sat on the stairs to diffuse the paddy. Later that day she was apparently complaining of a "hurt neck" pointing to her throat as she'd had trouble eating her dinner. That afternoon the social worker drove our daughter home instead of the taxi accompanied by a child protection officer. I was being accused of grabbing my daughter by the throat! Both my husband and I were interviewed. My husband was at work at the time the tantrum happened. No further action was taken. No marks and a little girl with speech delay apparently said I'd hurt her neck. Police interview report never entered into evidence though I was accused of not mentioning it in my position statement.

Both children have been heavily influenced by consecutive social workers and the current one appears to become too close to our son (now 4) in particular. They are both in foster care awaiting adoption. This search ends in July if no one found.

We defended ourselves in court refusing to admit to something we hadn't done. It only then led to accusations of not being open and basically being in denial.

blueplain
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 11:07 am

Re: My 4 years with children services

Post by blueplain » Sun Apr 06, 2014 12:26 pm

Since my son has no bruising at all at no time they are giving me the benefit of the doubt but are going to observe my children closely. This means I now have to stop them jumping about and live in fear in case they miss interpret any bruise for physical abuse.

After 5 years intervention it is impossible not to have anything crop up. A ton of things can happen in 5 years, all can be easily miss interpreted and over my case there has been many miss interpretations, late paperwork if any at all and poor record keeping.

I am finding the experience much better on CAF however but it can easily escalate at any point especially over a prolonged period. I started intervention at 21. I am now 26. Will I never get full independence my whole adult life?

I know CAF is voluntary but the team is helping streamline my children's medical appointments helping with waiting lists and stuff. So I am sticking with it for my children like I always have done. Even though it is a constant stress and we live in fear.

I just hope we can be a independent family with no investigation before I am 30. I have spent so much of my life reaching other peoples unrealistic expectations.

I have 4 out of 5 children with disabilities. My life is already stressed and difficult without the added intervention.

Do they not realise how upsetting and what a strain it is to have a lot of your children with difficulties. I love my children a lot and I want to spend all my concern on there needs and how I am going to support them even at adult hood. Not being worried about if they accidentally hurt themselves and the injures blamed on me or that one of them will say something and it be taken out of context.

Sorry for my rant. It's been difficult without any therapy or emotional support. Me and my partner have supported each other through it all though and we are much stronger for it.

blueplain
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 11:07 am

Re: My 4 years with children services

Post by blueplain » Sat May 17, 2014 4:22 pm

Hi again, a small update on what's been going on since the last CAF meeting I have done the following.

I put in a complaint to my director of communities and people about the negative tone my CAF has been taking, complaining that all my positive actions have harderly been discussed with all the focus being on all the concerns regarding my family. I have received an apology, my CAF head line manager has been informed and the CAF will change to a more positive tone. So hopefully I will not be walking out of the meetings being completely demoralised.

Apart from that I have arranged and attended multiple paediatrics for my children, including speech and language, physiopherapists and optitions. I have placed two of my children in beavers and cubs and I attend these sessions as a scouts and beavers assistant. I have also volunteered to be on the commity to influence scouts activities and I will be attending the first commite meeting on Monday. I have attended 5 FAST sessions now around one sons DAMP disability and a course on ADHD Finally we have one of our children in an after school arts club.

On top of this my youngest MAP meeting is starting on Thursday, he will be going through the CDC and hopefully get diagnosed and receive a statement for his difficulties, believed to be on the autistic spectrum. I have 4 out of 5 children with disabilities so I have a lot of medical appointments to attend. However I have attended all not missing one. I am thinking of sending two of my children to special needs school which has been a difficult time for me.

All of this progress was just brushed aside at the CAF with the chair deciding to read a list of concerns and discuss them, instead of neutrally discussing all activities.

Anyways that's the update of my life, now within the 5th year since my intervention began.

ange301126
Posts: 537
Joined: Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:27 pm

Re: My 4 years with children services

Post by ange301126 » Sun May 18, 2014 10:37 pm

Dear Blueplain, May I ask whether any respite care has been arranged for your family?

Autism specialists recommend that respite care is to be an ESSENTIAL part in any care-plan for ASD children( this includes attention deficit ones). With all their experience, they fully recognise the immense pressures parents face.

Surely, after all these years, your doctor has referred your family to a consultant and the children have already been assessed by a child psychologist, haven't they? My daughter was diagnosed at three years of age and my son at four.

It is imperative you and your partner get the benefit of respite and the CS through the CDT should arrange it for you or they aren't doing their job properly. If you haven't done so already address it now if you can and get advice from the experts.

blueplain
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 11:07 am

Re: My 4 years with children services

Post by blueplain » Mon Jul 07, 2014 7:13 am

I have my CAF meeting today. I really hope it goes well. I want to enjoy the summer holidays without any dark clouds looming over us. We are doing more then ever for our children and if this next one is negative I am going to be so fed up. Really at the end of my patients with all this. Anyway I will keep you posted with how it goes.

As to your question ange, I have not had a holiday since before my first child was born, never mind any respite. You would think they are trying to kill me off with all this stress without any thought of my well being.

Anxious
Posts: 113
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2013 4:38 pm

Re: My 4 years with children services

Post by Anxious » Mon Jul 07, 2014 1:24 pm

Hi blueplain, i will be keeping my fingers crossed for you! I really hope it does go well for you so you can enjoy the summer holidays with your children :)

blueplain
Posts: 145
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 11:07 am

Re: My 4 years with children services

Post by blueplain » Mon Jul 07, 2014 2:44 pm

It went perfect! so good summer for me! "pulls out deck chair and puts on some sun glasses"

Anxious
Posts: 113
Joined: Thu Dec 26, 2013 4:38 pm

Re: My 4 years with children services

Post by Anxious » Mon Jul 07, 2014 8:06 pm

Brilliant news I am so happy for you :)

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