Conflict With SGO

[Bluelagoon]

Hi, I am just looking for advice on how i can further proceed with this. My Children were ordered an SGO order due to mental health and substance missus on and off from 2021/2024 final hearing 2024 granted SGO as I relapsed, history of DV with their dad. My parents had them for awhile prior but have illness and are old so paternal grandparents have SGO. Their dad resides there too and is still drinking. I have supervised contact via my parents. SGO are now saying refusing to allow my contact with my children to be supervised by other family members. My parents dont like doing fun things and are ill, my kids enjoy going out and having days out. My oldest is 14 and would like to spend time with me, their dad has unsupervised contact (I don't agree with this). I am clear from substances and alcohol and am continue to go through therapy to maintain sobriety and to work on different coping mechanisms.
I stopped paternal supervised contact at my home due to her going through my letters and now takes place at my parents. SGO is now stating that the weekends i am to have my kids are actually for my parents to see them and not for me to visit for however long my parents wish. SGO has agreed my contact time in summer holidays for my parents to take them away but i am not allowed to go due to family members that i don't go on with going. SGO won't talk to me and bypasses me every time and arranges things with my parents as if i am not here. I have tried MIAM which was declined. The family that i have that we enjoy going out with have background in social work and DBS and also have a duty of care whether or not they are family. Legal aid is hard to come by, i currently dont work as I am really wanting to maintain sobriety and dont want extra pressure at the moment. other than going back to court is there anything else i can do? My children have raised some concerns with regards to their dad living there, i have brought it up to SGO but says its nothing to do with me. I do want my children back home and that was always the plan, i am not asking for straight away unsupervised contact but to be abit more flexible with what i can do on the weekends which are my contact time. My daughter is allowed out on her own she is 14 and has said she would like days with me. Surely, her competence and wishes should be considered? If she can go in public on her own and be around her dad etc, why is it a problem for me to take her to get her nails done for 1 hour?

What can i do or evidence can i supply other than test results for drugs and alcohol, meeting progressions would help me with this?

Thank you

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Bluelagoon

Thank you for your post and welcome to the discussion board. My name is Suzie, I am an online adviser at Family Rights Group and will be replying to you today. Well done for maintaining your sobriety. I am sorry to hear of your situation regarding contact with your children, it must be a stressful and difficult time for you.


A Special Guardianship Order (SGO) was made in respect of your children due to concerns regarding domestic abuse and alcohol misuse. The order was made to the paternal grandparents (with the father still residing at their home). You have had ongoing issues regarding contact with your children and have tried formal mediation, via the Mediation, Information and Assessment Meeting process (MIAM process) in an attempt to resolve. Unfortunately, this was refused by the paternal grandparents and there continues to be disagreement about the family time you wish to spend with your children. You are seeking information and guidance to resolve these issues and want, if possible, to avoid the court process.

If you have not done so already it would be a good idea to ask children’s services to support you with this matter. Under section 14F of The Special Guardian Act 2016, as amended, the local authority must make arrangements for the provision of special guardianship support services. Including:

• assistance, including mediation services, in relation to contact between the child and their parents or relatives or any other person with whom the child has a relationship that the local authority considers to be beneficial to the welfare of the child (regulation 3(1)(c))

Further, many local authorities also have access to Family Group Conferencing services and may, in some circumstances, provide this to families in your type of situation. Please see
HERE for further information and advice regarding this process.

You say you wish to avoid making an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order regarding contact. I understand your reluctance to go down this route. It is stressful and usually adversarial and a last resort for many people. For ease and your perusal, I have added
HERE a links to Child Law Advice. This organisation has helpful information and guidance regarding this process and also comprehensive, downloadable ‘how to’ guides for a nominal fee.

You ask what you can do to evidence you remain drug and alcohol free apart from testing and meeting progressions. Engaging with these services will provided evidence of abstinence as will continuing to be stable, child focussed, engaging and proactive in your attempts to work with the special guardians and professionals.

I hope the information provided is of help to you. Please post again if you have any further queries or you can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm). We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons.
Best wishes, Suzie