Child protection plan and SS

[moomoomeadows]

Hi, me and my partner are currently expecting our first baby together in April.
He is on the SOR since 2023 for a total of 10 years.
He has a Sexual Harm prevention order until July 2028, where his conditions state he is not allowed to live in the same place as a person under 18 unless express permission is provided by social services.
We have been very open and honest with the midwives, police child services, health visitors and more since finding out i was pregnant, and have tried our best to cooperate with anything they request.
We recently underwent a Child protection planning conference, where it was deemed my baby needed to be placed on a child protection plan until both him and i could undergo risk assessments to deem he is not a risk or a very low risk, and i am able to protect my baby significantly.
Unfortunately, without these assessments being complete he has been refused to live with us upon my babies arrival, which we both expected.
However, if i am unable to prove that i can protect my baby in his presence, threats have been made for him to be unable to see her unless there is another person who undergoes the same protective assessment.
We dont live close to family, and it is a lot of pressure to put on my friends. If this something they are allowed to enforce?
The only other requirement on his SHPO is that if contact is to be made with a person under 18, their legal carer/guardian must have full knowledge of his offences, and provide a written statement to the council they reside stating full consent is given. Why is it the case i may not be allowed to supervise my baby in his presence if i fail the assessment?

Is there any advice you can give on how to prove to SS i am able to protect my baby?
What is it they are looking for in order to deem me responsible enough to safeguard her?

And with regards to his living arrangements, they have already stated they will not help with housing, so what are the things we need to consider when hegoes for his assessment so he can be allowed to live with us?

Furthermore, if we are still being monitored by SS when his SHPO expires, and he has still not been given permission to live with us, are they still able to enforce this? His SHPO is only in place for a total of 5 years, so will expire July 2028.

Any help would much be appreciated, because the whole situation is really stressing us out. My baby deserves her dad, and im under the impression that he may not ever be able to see her in just my presence if i fail my protective assessment.

Thanks

[Winter25]

Hi moomoomeadows,

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with all of this while pregnant. It’s a lot to carry, especially when what should be an exciting time is dominated by meetings, assessments and uncertainty. The stress you’re feeling is completely understandable.

I want to try to strip this back a bit, because a lot of fear comes from things being said in ways that sound final or threatening, when in reality they’re part of a process rather than a judgement on you or your baby.

Right now, this is pre-birth safeguarding, not punishment. Because your partner is on the SOR and has a SHPO, professionals are legally required to assess risk before the baby is born. That’s why everything feels intense and front-loaded. It does not mean they have decided to remove your baby, or that you are already seen as unsafe, or that your partner will never be involved.

Children’s Services can carry out assessments, put a child protection plan in place while those assessments are ongoing, and require your partner not to live with you until permission is given. That aligns with his SHPO. They can also look at whether you can safely protect your baby and, if needed, suggest supervised contact for a period.

What they cannot do is important too. They can’t permanently stop a parent seeing their child without court involvement. They can’t remove a baby purely because of “association” if there is no evidence of harm. They can’t enforce criminal restrictions forever once orders expire. And they can’t lawfully punish you just for loving someone if you are open, risk-aware and prioritising your child.

A lot of what you’re hearing at the moment will be framed as “if you fail this, then that will happen”. That doesn’t mean those outcomes are inevitable. It means they are testing whether you understand risk and can put your baby first under pressure.

The protective parent assessment isn’t about whether you love your child or your partner. It’s about insight, boundaries and priorities. They’re looking to see that you understand what his offences were, that you don’t minimise them, that you follow safety rules consistently, and that if you were ever faced with a choice, your baby would come first. That doesn’t mean you’re expected to abandon your relationship now, it means you’re expected to show you can act protectively if needed.

On supervision, it’s very common at the start of cases like this for Children’s Services to ask for third-party supervision. That’s usually a temporary measure, not a life sentence. As trust builds and assessments are completed, arrangements often step down. What they can’t do is insist on indefinite supervision unless there is ongoing evidence that risk can’t be safely managed.

Housing is frustrating, and you’re right that they don’t have to help with it. What they are looking for is clarity and stability. Separate accommodation for your partner while assessments are ongoing, clear boundaries, and no “grey areas” all help reduce perceived risk rather than increase it.

About the SHPO ending in 2028: once it expires, criminal restrictions end. Children’s Services don’t get to enforce criminal conditions forever. However, they can still raise safeguarding concerns if they believe there is ongoing risk. That’s why compliance, time, and a lack of incidents really matter, risk narratives weaken when nothing happens.

The most important thing to hold onto is this: you are not powerless in any of this, and this is not decided yet. You are being assessed, and assessments can be passed.

If at any point things feel implied rather than clearly explained, you are allowed to ask for clarity in writing. Sometimes that alone helps calm things down. If it helps, a short, neutral email could be along these lines:

-----
Subject: Clarification of Protective Parent Assessment and Interim Arrangements

Dear [Social Worker’s name],

I hope you are well.

I am writing to ensure I clearly understand what is expected of me while assessments are ongoing, and to confirm how decisions are being approached in relation to my baby’s safety and care.

I am committed to cooperating fully with Children’s Services and to safeguarding my baby. I want to make sure I am meeting expectations appropriately and not making assumptions during this process.

Please could you clarify the following:

What specific factors are being considered within my protective parent assessment

What Children’s Services are looking for in order to demonstrate that I am able to safeguard my baby

Whether the current supervision and living arrangements are intended to be temporary while assessments are completed

What steps or evidence would support progression or review of these arrangements

I appreciate that assessments take time, and I want to work constructively and transparently throughout. Any clarification you can provide in writing would be very helpful in allowing me to engage confidently and appropriately.

Thank you for your time and support.

Kind regards,

--------

That keeps things calm, cooperative and focused on your baby.

You’ve done the right things so far: you’ve been honest which is what is needed, you haven’t hidden anything, and you’re asking questions instead of reacting in panic. None of that points to a parent who can’t protect their child.
========
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the family court system, offering strategic guidance. Always consult with a solicitor regarding ongoing court proceedings.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi, me and my partner are currently expecting our first baby together in April.
He is on the SOR since 2023 for a total of 10 years.
He has a Sexual Harm prevention order until July 2028, where his conditions state he is not allowed to live in the same place as a person under 18 unless express permission is provided by social services.
We have been very open and honest with the midwives, police child services, health visitors and more since finding out i was pregnant, and have tried our best to cooperate with anything they request.
We recently underwent a Child protection planning conference, where it was deemed my baby needed to be placed on a child protection plan until both him and i could undergo risk assessments to deem he is not a risk or a very low risk, and i am able to protect my baby significantly.
Unfortunately, without these assessments being complete he has been refused to live with us upon my babies arrival, which we both expected.
However, if i am unable to prove that i can protect my baby in his presence, threats have been made for him to be unable to see her unless there is another person who undergoes the same protective assessment.
We dont live close to family, and it is a lot of pressure to put on my friends. If this something they are allowed to enforce?
The only other requirement on his SHPO is that if contact is to be made with a person under 18, their legal carer/guardian must have full knowledge of his offences, and provide a written statement to the council they reside stating full consent is given. Why is it the case i may not be allowed to supervise my baby in his presence if i fail the assessment?

Is there any advice you can give on how to prove to SS i am able to protect my baby?
What is it they are looking for in order to deem me responsible enough to safeguard her?

And with regards to his living arrangements, they have already stated they will not help with housing, so what are the things we need to consider when hegoes for his assessment so he can be allowed to live with us?

Furthermore, if we are still being monitored by SS when his SHPO expires, and he has still not been given permission to live with us, are they still able to enforce this? His SHPO is only in place for a total of 5 years, so will expire July 2028.

Any help would much be appreciated, because the whole situation is really stressing us out. My baby deserves her dad, and im under the impression that he may not ever be able to see her in just my presence if i fail my protective assessment.

Thanks

Dear Moomoomeadows,

Thank you for your post. I am Suzie, an online adviser for Family Rights Group responding to you today.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am sorry to read about your stressful circumstances and hope I can guide you to useful information.
You are seeking advice as to how children’s services will assess your ability to protect your child and hope that you will be judged capable of supervising the contact in the future.

As has already been said in your reply from another forum user, children’s services will want to find out if you understand the offences and the impact on the victims; that you do not seek to deny or minimise your partner’s actions and that you are aware of the possible risks to your child that his offender profile presents.

You could ask the social worker to recommend relevant parent education and resources to help you work out how you can protect and manage risk.
Lucy Faithfull Foundation have ample information on their website about keeping children safe and ways to prevent sexual abuse. There is a family and friends’ forum where you can communicate with others affected by issues stemming from sexual offending, and also a helpline. You can link to the website here.
You can read more about child protection procedures and plans here.

You explain that you do not live close to family, and you are worried about putting too much pressure on friends. It could help to bring the network around your baby together to discuss ways that you can be supported to implement a safety plan. The whole situation is putting massive pressure on you, and it would be wise to accept support from people who are prepared to offer it. Family group conference is a way for the network (friends and family) around a child to meet, with the help of a professional chair to plan ways they can help. You can read more about family group conference here. If you feel this could be helpful to you – you could ask the social worker to make a referral.

I hope that this information was useful. Please feel free to post again here or contact us in another way for advice.

You can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak in person with an adviser. We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons, and an advice enquiry form.
Best wishes,
Suzie

[moomoomeadows]

Thank you so much for the help Winter25.
This has really calmed my nerves a lot.
We had our first core group conference today, it outlines the plan thats currently set in place and what needs to be done regarding each concern raised.
I do feel more confident in the situation, but your email draft will definitely come in handy.
I understand what they want to do regarding the assessments that need completing however still don't know what they expect from us as parents to show them to prove this.

I really appreciate your help and think that we need to look into outlining the importance that baby will always come first.
We have looked into housing, and i have applied to receive help via universal credit. My partner has gone down declaring homelessness through our local council to se if they can find something to accommodate him while assessments are being completed.

Once again, thank you for the information.

Hi moomoomeadows,

I’m really sorry you’re dealing with all of this while pregnant. It’s a lot to carry, especially when what should be an exciting time is dominated by meetings, assessments and uncertainty. The stress you’re feeling is completely understandable.

I want to try to strip this back a bit, because a lot of fear comes from things being said in ways that sound final or threatening, when in reality they’re part of a process rather than a judgement on you or your baby.

Right now, this is pre-birth safeguarding, not punishment. Because your partner is on the SOR and has a SHPO, professionals are legally required to assess risk before the baby is born. That’s why everything feels intense and front-loaded. It does not mean they have decided to remove your baby, or that you are already seen as unsafe, or that your partner will never be involved.

Children’s Services can carry out assessments, put a child protection plan in place while those assessments are ongoing, and require your partner not to live with you until permission is given. That aligns with his SHPO. They can also look at whether you can safely protect your baby and, if needed, suggest supervised contact for a period.

What they cannot do is important too. They can’t permanently stop a parent seeing their child without court involvement. They can’t remove a baby purely because of “association” if there is no evidence of harm. They can’t enforce criminal restrictions forever once orders expire. And they can’t lawfully punish you just for loving someone if you are open, risk-aware and prioritising your child.

A lot of what you’re hearing at the moment will be framed as “if you fail this, then that will happen”. That doesn’t mean those outcomes are inevitable. It means they are testing whether you understand risk and can put your baby first under pressure.

The protective parent assessment isn’t about whether you love your child or your partner. It’s about insight, boundaries and priorities. They’re looking to see that you understand what his offences were, that you don’t minimise them, that you follow safety rules consistently, and that if you were ever faced with a choice, your baby would come first. That doesn’t mean you’re expected to abandon your relationship now, it means you’re expected to show you can act protectively if needed.

On supervision, it’s very common at the start of cases like this for Children’s Services to ask for third-party supervision. That’s usually a temporary measure, not a life sentence. As trust builds and assessments are completed, arrangements often step down. What they can’t do is insist on indefinite supervision unless there is ongoing evidence that risk can’t be safely managed.

Housing is frustrating, and you’re right that they don’t have to help with it. What they are looking for is clarity and stability. Separate accommodation for your partner while assessments are ongoing, clear boundaries, and no “grey areas” all help reduce perceived risk rather than increase it.

About the SHPO ending in 2028: once it expires, criminal restrictions end. Children’s Services don’t get to enforce criminal conditions forever. However, they can still raise safeguarding concerns if they believe there is ongoing risk. That’s why compliance, time, and a lack of incidents really matter, risk narratives weaken when nothing happens.

The most important thing to hold onto is this: you are not powerless in any of this, and this is not decided yet. You are being assessed, and assessments can be passed.

If at any point things feel implied rather than clearly explained, you are allowed to ask for clarity in writing. Sometimes that alone helps calm things down. If it helps, a short, neutral email could be along these lines:

-----
Subject: Clarification of Protective Parent Assessment and Interim Arrangements

Dear [Social Worker’s name],

I hope you are well.

I am writing to ensure I clearly understand what is expected of me while assessments are ongoing, and to confirm how decisions are being approached in relation to my baby’s safety and care.

I am committed to cooperating fully with Children’s Services and to safeguarding my baby. I want to make sure I am meeting expectations appropriately and not making assumptions during this process.

Please could you clarify the following:

What specific factors are being considered within my protective parent assessment

What Children’s Services are looking for in order to demonstrate that I am able to safeguard my baby

Whether the current supervision and living arrangements are intended to be temporary while assessments are completed

What steps or evidence would support progression or review of these arrangements

I appreciate that assessments take time, and I want to work constructively and transparently throughout. Any clarification you can provide in writing would be very helpful in allowing me to engage confidently and appropriately.

Thank you for your time and support.

Kind regards,

--------

That keeps things calm, cooperative and focused on your baby.

You’ve done the right things so far: you’ve been honest which is what is needed, you haven’t hidden anything, and you’re asking questions instead of reacting in panic. None of that points to a parent who can’t protect their child.
========
For full transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the family court system, offering strategic guidance. Always consult with a solicitor regarding ongoing court proceedings.

[moomoomeadows]

Hi Suzie,

Thank you for your reply.
We have been referred to a family social worker, who should be in contact with me to start sessions to help me understand offending behaviour and why people offend in the first place. They normally do these as a group, but have decided to do it as 1-1 sessions instead specifically tailored to our situation.
I think i might start writing down a lot of questions to ask them in these meetings so i can fully understand what they are looking for and this may help me to understand the best ways to explain to them how i am capable of protecting my baby.
They had concerns initially because i stated i had complete trust in my partner as he hasnt shown me any reason he should be of concern. However, in the Child protection conference i had started to realise my naivety and tried explaining how my views have changed.
They brought this as a concern mainly because was i just stating this following the situation, or do i actually understand the risk he poses to my baby.
Do you have any advice on how i can further express that my views have changed, or will this be something that comes with time following my protective assessment?

Thank you so much for your help!

Hi, me and my partner are currently expecting our first baby together in April.
He is on the SOR since 2023 for a total of 10 years.
He has a Sexual Harm prevention order until July 2028, where his conditions state he is not allowed to live in the same place as a person under 18 unless express permission is provided by social services.
We have been very open and honest with the midwives, police child services, health visitors and more since finding out i was pregnant, and have tried our best to cooperate with anything they request.
We recently underwent a Child protection planning conference, where it was deemed my baby needed to be placed on a child protection plan until both him and i could undergo risk assessments to deem he is not a risk or a very low risk, and i am able to protect my baby significantly.
Unfortunately, without these assessments being complete he has been refused to live with us upon my babies arrival, which we both expected.
However, if i am unable to prove that i can protect my baby in his presence, threats have been made for him to be unable to see her unless there is another person who undergoes the same protective assessment.
We dont live close to family, and it is a lot of pressure to put on my friends. If this something they are allowed to enforce?
The only other requirement on his SHPO is that if contact is to be made with a person under 18, their legal carer/guardian must have full knowledge of his offences, and provide a written statement to the council they reside stating full consent is given. Why is it the case i may not be allowed to supervise my baby in his presence if i fail the assessment?

Is there any advice you can give on how to prove to SS i am able to protect my baby?
What is it they are looking for in order to deem me responsible enough to safeguard her?

And with regards to his living arrangements, they have already stated they will not help with housing, so what are the things we need to consider when hegoes for his assessment so he can be allowed to live with us?

Furthermore, if we are still being monitored by SS when his SHPO expires, and he has still not been given permission to live with us, are they still able to enforce this? His SHPO is only in place for a total of 5 years, so will expire July 2028.

Any help would much be appreciated, because the whole situation is really stressing us out. My baby deserves her dad, and im under the impression that he may not ever be able to see her in just my presence if i fail my protective assessment.

Thanks

Dear Moomoomeadows,

Thank you for your post. I am Suzie, an online adviser for Family Rights Group responding to you today.

Congratulations on your pregnancy. I am sorry to read about your stressful circumstances and hope I can guide you to useful information.
You are seeking advice as to how children’s services will assess your ability to protect your child and hope that you will be judged capable of supervising the contact in the future.

As has already been said in your reply from another forum user, children’s services will want to find out if you understand the offences and the impact on the victims; that you do not seek to deny or minimise your partner’s actions and that you are aware of the possible risks to your child that his offender profile presents.

You could ask the social worker to recommend relevant parent education and resources to help you work out how you can protect and manage risk.
Lucy Faithfull Foundation have ample information on their website about keeping children safe and ways to prevent sexual abuse. There is a family and friends’ forum where you can communicate with others affected by issues stemming from sexual offending, and also a helpline. You can link to the website here.
You can read more about child protection procedures and plans here.

You explain that you do not live close to family, and you are worried about putting too much pressure on friends. It could help to bring the network around your baby together to discuss ways that you can be supported to implement a safety plan. The whole situation is putting massive pressure on you, and it would be wise to accept support from people who are prepared to offer it. Family group conference is a way for the network (friends and family) around a child to meet, with the help of a professional chair to plan ways they can help. You can read more about family group conference here. If you feel this could be helpful to you – you could ask the social worker to make a referral.

I hope that this information was useful. Please feel free to post again here or contact us in another way for advice.

You can call our free, confidential adviceline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak in person with an adviser. We also have a webchat which is currently open on Monday and Thursday afternoons, and an advice enquiry form.
Best wishes,
Suzie

[Winter25]

Hi moomoomeadows,

What you’ve written here actually shows a lot of progress already.

One of the biggest things professionals look for in a protective parent assessment is movement in understanding over time, not a single perfect statement made under pressure. The fact that you can now reflect and say “I trusted him, but I understand now why that isn’t enough on its own” is important. Insight doesn’t appear overnight, and they know that.

It may help to reframe what happened at conference in your own mind. When you initially said you had complete trust in your partner, that wasn’t seen as you being dishonest , it was seen as understandable but incomplete insight. What matters more is what you do next with that realisation.

In terms of expressing that your views have genuinely changed, it’s less about saying the “right words” and more about consistently showing the following themes over time:

• Acknowledging that trust and risk are not the same thing
You can trust someone emotionally while still recognising that safeguards are needed because of their offence history.

• Being able to explain why risk exists, not just that it does
For example, understanding that risk isn’t about how he treats you, but about patterns, opportunity, boundaries, and vulnerability in children, especially babies.

• Showing that your baby’s safety would always override discomfort, loyalty or fear of consequences
Professionals want to hear that if something felt wrong, or a rule was breached, you would act immediately, even if that was hard.

• Demonstrating that you don’t rely on instinct alone
Talking about routines, supervision rules, who is present, what you would do if you felt overwhelmed, and how you would seek help shows practical protection, not just good intentions.

The 1–1 sessions you’ve been offered are actually a positive sign. They give you space to ask questions, process information properly, and show your thinking evolving in real time. Writing questions down in advance is a very good idea, it shows engagement, not defensiveness.

It’s also okay to be honest about the shift in your thinking. You don’t need to pretend you “always knew”. You can say something like:

“I realise now that I initially focused on who my partner is to me, rather than on what safeguarding a baby requires. I’m learning to separate emotional trust from protective responsibility, and I understand that my baby has to come first in every scenario.”

That kind of statement shows reflection.

And finally, please don’t underestimate this: insight is often demonstrated by behaviour over time, not by one assessment. Following rules consistently, maintaining boundaries, engaging with learning, and tolerating short-term separation or supervision arrangements all quietly build credibility.

I also want to add something separate that really helped me personally, that is the Lucy Faithfull Foundation. If you haven’t already, I would strongly recommend contacting them and joining their family support services. It’s free, confidential, and genuinely educational . They help you understand offending behaviour, risk patterns, and realistic safeguarding in a way that actually empowers you as a parent. For me, it was one of the most grounding parts of the process, because it gave me knowledge and understanding on why these things happened, why people do what they do and how to spot triggers. You also get to engage with others that are going through the same thing..that didn’t come from Children’s Services. They hold huge weight as well when comes to showing you have done something.