Praying for an advocate

[Winter25]

Hi cjkc15,

I am really glad you posted again, even though I know how broken you’re feeling right now. What you are describing is not you failing or being weak , it is the impact of repeated instability being imposed on you and your son by decisions that do not appear to match what you were previously told.

You were told there was a plan for reunification. That changes everything. Once reunification is the stated plan, children’s services have a duty to act in a way that supports that plan and, above all, protects your child’s emotional wellbeing. Moving your son again, further away, while he is already so distressed that his foster carer has to sit with him at night, raises serious questions about whether his welfare is actually being prioritised.

Right now, the most important thing is not to argue emotionally or plead, but to force clarity and accountability in writing. Decisions that are only spoken about on the phone are weak. Decisions that have to be justified on paper are very different.

You have not missed your chance. There are still things you can do.

The next step is to require them to explain, in writing, why this move is happening, how it fits with reunification, and how they justify it given your son’s distress. This shifts the pressure back where it belongs.

Below is a draft email you can use. You do not need to change the tone or make it stronger, it is deliberately calm, factual, and child-focused. You can copy and paste it and adjust names if you need to.
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Subject: Urgent clarification and review of placement decision for [Child’s name]

Dear [Social Worker’s name],
Cc: [Team Manager’s name], [IRO’s name]

I am writing because I am extremely concerned about the decision communicated to me regarding my son’s placement.

I was previously informed that the plan for my son was reunification. I have now been told that, despite this plan, he is to be moved again, further away from me.

I am struggling to understand how this decision aligns with my son’s welfare or with the reunification plan that was communicated to me. I have been informed that his current foster carer is having to sit with him at night due to the level of distress he is experiencing, which indicates that the instability he has already experienced is causing him emotional harm.

Given this, I am formally requesting the following in writing as a matter of urgency:

• The legal and welfare basis for the decision to move my son at this stage
• How this move supports the stated reunification plan
• Whether a current welfare assessment has been completed that specifically considers the emotional impact of further placement moves on my son
• What consideration has been given to the harm caused by additional disruption and instability

I am asking that this decision is urgently reviewed at management level. I am deeply concerned that repeated placement changes are compounding my son’s distress rather than protecting his wellbeing.

I would appreciate a written response as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely,
[Your name]
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Sending this does not make you “difficult” OK. It makes you a parent asking reasonable, lawful questions about decisions that directly affect your child.

Please also hear this though the fact that you are struggling, crying, not sleeping, none of that weakens your position nor does it weaken you. It shows the human cost of what is happening. You are allowed to say this is too much. You are allowed to ask for decisions to be reviewed. You are allowed to expect professionals to justify actions that are clearly affecting your child.

If you can, send the email today or tomorrow. If you have a solicitor, copy them in as well. And if you don’t get a meaningful response, that silence itself becomes important.

You are not alone in this, even though it feels unbearable right now. Keep posting. Take this one step at a time. We will keep helping you think clearly when everything feels like it’s collapsing.

You are doing the right thing by fighting for your child. Keep going and keep moving forward. Nothing is set in stone in family law, it is constantly changing, and decisions can always be challenged and revisited.

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For full transparency, I am not an official adviser. I am a parent with lived experience of the family court system, offering strategic guidance. Always consult with a solicitor regarding ongoing court proceedings.