How can we prove to professionals???

[dollyg]

I have been with my partner for a year and a half now, I have known him pretty much all my life but we have only ever remained friends as we were both in relationships with other people. I four children with my ex who I am now divorced from. my current partner has been convicted of an offence against his ex partner which was quite horrific offence however he done his time, done lots of courses and therapy and was released from prison with many Conditions in place. He was out for 4 months and did not break any conditions, he was then recalled to prison for apparently being in a relationship with myself and not declaring it even though he told professionals that he was getting close to me and thinking of asking me out on a date. we did not have the discussion about being in a relationship until after he was recalled back to prison approx four weeks after that. The Probation service don’t seem to want to support him and allow him to move forward they have never supported him throughout his time in prison.
My children are now on a child protection plan as he had his risk level raised to high once professionals were aware that he was in a relationship with me but apparently his risk was raised to high because he was deemed as being in a relationship with me and my children were on a child protection plan so we have struggled to Work out or get the answers as to who put what in place first.
After a year of trying to work with professionals including Social Services we have finally got them to agree to do a risk assessment to see if he will be allowed to live with myself and my boys, or have contact etc
The concern they say is that they would not know whether he has changed until potentially something happens! even though we spent four months together every day when he was prison with no issues whatsoever. He was released with no restrictions towards women or children and always had full contact with children, it has only been put in place since he is in a relationship with myself. Our children know each other and have grew up together.
My children are no longer allowed any contact with him until he has had the risk assessment completed, I understand all of this and I understand the concerns as his past is quite horrific but as far as domestic violence apart from the offence against his ex partner which was nine years ago now he has nothing.

How are we able to prove that everything is okay if we aren’t able to be given the chance? What is a normal procedure in cases like this? would they suggest that the children live with a relative for X amount of weeks and providing there is no violence or reports of any domestics etc then the children can have contact again and live with us together? How does it work?
I’ve been asked to do a family group Confrence, is this why they want this? I’m new to the whole world of social services so apologies for the many questions

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear dollyg,

Thank you for your post and welcome to the parents' forum.

You have been with your partner for a year and half. You knew each other previously. You have 4 children with your ex-husband. Your current partner was convicted of an offence against his ex-partner, which was serious. You say that he has 'done his time' and that he has done courses, therapy and was released from prison with many conditions in place. He was recalled after 4 months for being in a relationship with you and not declaring this. You say you had not had a discussion about being in a relationship until later. Your children are now on a child protection plan as he is deemed high risk after getting into a relationship with you. I am not clear whether there was already a child protection plan in place before this. Children's services have now agreed to do a risk assessment to see whether he would be able to live with you and your children or have contact. Children's services are concerned that they do not know whether your partner has changed. You say that he was released with no restrictions on his contact with women or children and that this has only happened since being in a relationship with you. Your children are no longer allowed any contact with him until he has had the risk assessment completed. You would like to know how things are likely to work moving forward. You have been asked to do a family group conference.

Children's services understandably have concerns about your partner. From what you say, he committed a serious offence for which he served a custodial sentence and had conditions on his release. Children's services main priority is the safety of your children - up until this point, they have recommended no contact between your partner and children as they deem this to be too high risk and could potentially lead to harm.

Children's services are now doing a risk assessment of your partner. They may recommend that he is able to have supervised contact with your children or even that it is safe enough to move in. It is likely that if this is the case, they will want you to agree to a safety plan and review the situation. Again, this would only be recommended if they thought it was in your children's best interests. It is very unlikely that they would ask your children to move out of their home to facilitate your partner moving in as this could be disruptive to them.

If children's services assess your partner as being too high risk, they may recommend that he continue to have no contact with your children. You can ask the social worker to explain why, and you could even make a formal complaint if you do not agree with the assessment. See here for more information on how to do this. Ultimately, as children's services do not have a court order for your children, these recommendations are just recommendation - however, I would strongly advise against you going against these without a full understanding of how children's services may respond if you allow contact. As the children are already on a child protection plan, children's services could escalate the matter to court.

It is positive that children's services have asked you to have a family group conference. A family group conference is designed to bring your network together to come up with a plan that is led by you and your family. They can be used for many different reasons. Take a look here for more information.

I hope you have found this useful.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

[dollyg]

Thanks for your reply
What I don’t understand is why was my partner not deemed a risk until we decided to be in a relationship? He spent time around my children prior to this as we’ve known each other for all of their lives.

There seems to be so much corruption going on, too many things have happened for it to be a coincidence. It appears his probation officer and mappa police from his previous town don’t want to allow him to move forwards and have a normal life.

Please if anyone reading this has had similar please post with your outcomes. Or recommendations for solicitors that can help us.

Thanks

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear dollyg

Thank you for your further post. You state in your post that your partner was not deemed a risk until you decided to be in a relationship.

From your previous post I see you mentioned that your partner had been released from prison with many conditions, this suggests that he is considered a risk generally and more specifically where he enters a relationship.

You say that professionals do not want to give your partner a chance to move forward and have normal life. He was aware of the condition and failed to inform his probation officer and this led to him being recalled to prison.

As explained in my previous response, children’s service main concern is to ensure children are safeguarded and, as such, they take steps to ensure this happens. In your case, there is a child protection plan which is to help you to keep your children safe and accept any support offered to help you to do so.

Whilst I can understand your wish to move on with your partner, he committed a serious offence, and for children’s services to see you as being protective of your children, it is important that you try not to justify or minimise his history. Children’s service will assess him as explained in my previous post in order to assess his risk to you and your children.

If you wish to find a solicitor, you can use the Law Society website find a solicitor here. You may also find it helpful to contact Unlock who may be able to advise you more about your partner’s offence and the effect on him going forward.

Hope you find this helpful and another poster with similar experience may also respond to your post.

Best wishes

Suzie