Initial Child Protection Conference help. Worried sick

[HEITS24]

Hi. I am hoping someone can help. I met with my new partner last November and we had an incident in February where we both got very drunk and argued and he hit me. I did nothing and didn't call the police as everything has been fine since. The children were at home but where in bed and didn't hear a thing Recently my little girl climbed out of her cot and fell down the stairs, we didn't know she could climb out and we lived in a 3-story house, and she was on the floor below. We obviously did all the necessary checks and thankfully she was not hurt at all. This is where all the trouble began. I confided in a supposed friend as I am new to the area, what happened, and she reported me to social services. This is where it all began, she also told them about the incident of me and my partner fighting. So social services have been involved since May and me and my partner have been very open and honest about the past incident and about my little girl climbing out the cot and we put further safety measures in place. We had to do relationship counselling which we were doing with a student social worker and have monthly meetings with the schools. During the time social services where involved our case has been moved onto another social worker as she is horrible. She has no empathy, constantly talks down to us and she always thinks we are lying. The schools and health visitors don't have any worries with any of the 3 of my children and have praised me and my partner for this. Me and my partner have since moved house together which has been very stressful, but it was a fresh start for us all and we were enjoying our new life in our new home. A few nights back we had a drink over the fence with the new neighbours which was only a glass of wine as I'm on tablets for my back and I don't like to drink on them. I tripped over my partners feet going out the back door and blacked out. My partner went round to the neighbours as he couldn't wake me and was really upset, and the neighbour came round as I was eventually coming round. He got me up and told me to go outside and the next thing they called the police and an ambulance. My partner was then arrested, and I was interviewed. They asked if he had hit me and I said I don't think so as I can't remember I blacked out and took my statement. My statement was taken when I was still coming round and I said he could of hit me I don't remember bur there would be no reason for him to hit me as we hadn't been arguing, we had just moved home etc. I suffered domestic abuse in the past with an ex and I have been diagnosed with PTSD as a result. The CPS didn't charge my partner as there was not enough evidence as he had no marks on his hands at all and I contacted the police the day after regarding my statement and said that he didn't hit me, if this makes sense. However, the police got a DVPO order out in place where we can't have contact now till the end of August. Social services have been a nightmare they don't trust me with my own kids and wanted me to go into a hostel or have someone live with me 24/7 until further investigations were made about the incident. They are doing unannounced visits which I don't mind as I've nothing to hide and my kids are very well looked after as they now. They advised me to do clairs law on my partner as they told me he had an extensive abusive past, of which he had already told.me about. Everyone has a past!! Since this they are on my back and are now doing a Section 47 enquiry as they clearly don't like my partner, but they have said he poses no risk to my children at all. This new social worker has been vile and questioning my every move and my medical history and confronted me in my own home as I said to another visiting social worker, I can't work with her as she's very undermining, rude and i feel like I can't talk to her easily as she talks down and is rude to me. I don't understand why the section 47 is taking place, they haven't given me any time scales or anything and they have even said they would have to contact my ex-partner the one I suffered domestic abuse with and there's an Injunction in place where he can't contact me or my children. over all of this and i said they can't as there are injunctions in place due to him harming his son, she didn't seem to care at all. I feel like I'm basically a prisoner in my own home and I can't even take my children out over the summer holidays. My partner is allowed back on the 1st September and we as a family can't wait. Can someone advise me can social services do this a section 47 just because my ex has a past Can they treat me like I'm a bad mom and not allowed to go out my own home with my own children. Can they take my children away where there has been no harm come to them and even social services have said they are very well cared for too. This social worker hasn't been doing her job long apparently and I really want to complain about her too as there will be someone that needs their help and if they have her they won't be able to talk openly with them!! If I complain will this go against me? Can they stop my partner coming back to outer family home when social services have said he poses no risk at all to the children Just really need some help and what to say and my rights as I feel I have been forced to sign things I didn't understand at the time and still don't. Thank you so much for all you help from a worried sick mom Sent from Samsung Mobile on O2 Get Outlook for Android

I met with my new partner last November and we had an incident in February where we both got very drunk and argued and he hit me. I did nothing and didn't call the police as everything has been fine since. The children were at home but where in bed and didn't hear a thing


Recently my little girl climbed out of her cot and fell down the stairs, we didn't know she could climb out and we lived in a 3-story house, and she was on the floor below. We obviously did all the necessary checks and thankfully she was not hurt at all. This is where all the trouble began.

I confided in a supposed friend as I am new to the area, what happened, and she reported me to social services. This is where it all began, she also told them about the incident of me and my partner fighting.

So social services have been involved since May and me and my partner have been very open and honest about the past incident and about my little girl climbing out the cot and we put further safety measures in place.

We had to do relationship counselling which we were doing with a student social worker and have monthly meetings with the schools.

During the time social services where involved our case has been moved onto another social worker as she is horrible. She has no empathy, constantly talks down to us and she always thinks we are lying.

The schools and health visitors don't have any worries with any of the 3 of my children and have praised me and my partner for this.

Me and my partner have since moved house together which has been very stressful, but it was a fresh start for us all and we were enjoying our new life in our new home.

A few nights back we had a drink over the fence with the new neighbours which was only a glass of wine as I'm on tablets for my back and I don't like to drink on them. I tripped over my partners feet going out the back door and blacked out. My partner went round to the neighbours as he couldn't wake me and was really upset, and the neighbour came round as I was eventually coming round. He got me up and told me to go outside and the next thing they called the police and an ambulance.

My partner was then arrested, and I was interviewed. They asked if he had hit me and I said I don't think so as I can't remember I blacked out and took my statement. My statement was taken when I was still coming round and I said he could of hit me I don't remember bur there would be no reason for him to hit me as we hadn't been arguing, we had just moved home etc. I suffered domestic abuse in the past with an ex and I have been diagnosed with PTSD as a result.

The CPS didn't charge my partner as there was not enough evidence as he had no marks on his hands at all and I contacted the police the day after regarding my statement and said that he didn't hit me, if this makes sense.

However, the police got a DVPO order out in place where we can't have contact now till the end of August.

Social services have been a nightmare they don't trust me with my own kids and wanted me to go into a hostel or have someone live with me 24/7 until further investigations were made about the incident.

They are doing unannounced visits which I don't mind as I've nothing to hide and my kids are very well looked after as they now.

They advised me to do clairs law on my partner as they told me he had an extensive abusive past, of which he had already told.me about. Everyone has a past!!

Since this they are on my back and are now doing a Section 47 enquiry as they clearly don't like my partner, but they have said he poses no risk to my children at all.

This new social worker has been vile and questioning my every move and my medical history and confronted me in my own home as I said to another visiting social worker, I can't work with her as she's very undermining, rude and i feel like I can't talk to her easily as she talks down and is rude to me.

I don't understand why the section 47 is taking place, they haven't given me any time scales or anything and they have even said they would have to contact my ex-partner the one I suffered domestic abuse with and there's an Injunction in place where he can't contact me or my children. over all of this and i said they can't as there are injunctions in place due to him harming his son, she didn't seem to care at all.

I feel like I'm basically a prisoner in my own home and I can't even take my children out over the summer holidays.

My partner is allowed back on the 1st September and we as a family can't wait.

Can someone advise me can social services do this a section 47 just because my ex has a past

Can they treat me like I'm a bad mom and not allowed to go out my own home with my own children.

Can they take my children away where there has been no harm come to them and even social services have said they are very well cared for too.

This social worker hasn't been doing her job long apparently and I really want to complain about her too as there will be someone that needs their help and if they have her they won't be able to talk openly with them!! If I complain will this go against me?

Can they stop my partner coming back to outer family home when social services have said he poses no risk at all to the children

A ICPC is being held on the 24th August and I still have not had any replies from my social worker just a date via email.

Just really need some help and what to say and my rights as I feel I have been forced to sign things I didn't understand at the time and still don't.

Thank you so much for all you help from a worried sick mom

[KatKat10]

Get a solicitor and do not agree to anything in the CPC. If you are doing a remote call for the meeting, have someone there who you trust to minute the meeting, so they can act as a witness.

[HEITS24]

Thank you so much. I'm on my own and have no one or family where I am. I won't agree to anything. They arr making my life hell. But Thank you xx

[KatKat10]

Work with them but do not agree to sign anything before getting legal advice. You can ask for another social worker to be allocated to you. If it goes to the next stage of PLO after the ICPC, you get automatic legal fees paid for as this is not means tested. Make sure your solicitor is experienced and accredited in children's law, do your research and read online reviews. Keep notes of everything and communicate everything in writing with the LA, including following up phone calls with emails etc. Unfortunately, they tend to turn and twist an innocent remarks into something else. Do not wait for the LA to refer you for support do this yourself, remember they are not there to be your friend. Be mindful of this when dealing with other professionals involved. Be cautious of telling so called friends things as well. Be polite and don't undermine the LA, as they can use this against you.
KatKat10

[HEITS24]

Thank you for your reply it's really appreciated. Could I ask what LA and PLO is short for please many thanks again xx

[KatKat10]

Your welcome Heits24, LA = Local Authority and PLO is Public Law Outline or pre-proceedings

[HEITS24]

Thank you so much. Sorry this is all new and confusing.

From what I've seen from the reports before the meeting on Wednesday ot looks like it will got to a CP.

Can they stop my partner from living with me in this at all.

When I asked the social worker she said no but I'm unsure now .

Thanks again and sorry for all the questions xx

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear HEITS24

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group and I will be responding to your post.
I see from your post that you are worried and distressed about children’s services involvement with your family. It is unclear if you have a clear understanding of the concerns that they might have regarding your children because of the relationship with your partner.

You mention an incident in February when your partner assaulted you and this was only a few months into your relationship. Despite the assault you did not inform the police. It seems that you may have been of the view that you both had been drinking and that was the reason for the incident. The children, you say, did not hear anything at the time. I should explain that that if there are domestic violence in the home, even if it is thought that children have not seen or heard anything, children’s services will still be concerned about the environment in which they are living and the impact on their emotional wellbeing.

The next a more recent incident involved your little girl falling downstairs. You do not mention her age or whether she was taken to the hospital. Your daughter was not hurt in the fall. Children's services would be concerned if you did not take your daughter to your GP or the hospital after the fall since something could have been wrong that you were not aware of and this could be seen as neglect.

A referral was made to children’s services after you told someone about the incidents. From this point children’s services became involved and you were working well with the social worker and, it may be that at the time there was a child in need (CIN) plan or there was a working agreement with children's services. Both you and your partner attended couple counselling and there were monthly meetings. It seems that things were going well until you moved house.

There was a further incident which ended with you going to the hospital. Children’s services are likely to be concerned that once again the incident involved alcohol. You do not say if the change of social worker on your case was after the incident which led you having a black out. If this was the case, then it may be because the case was transferred to a different team or perhaps it was thought that a more experienced social worker would be better working with the family. Your relationship with the new social worker is a difficult one for different reasons. I think it is important for you to understand that the social worker is there to ensure the children are safeguarded and this is the main concern.

You say the social worker believes you are always lying, I am sorry that you feel this way, as it is always better to have a good working relationship with the allocated social worker. It might help if you ask to have a meeting with the social worker’s team manager to discuss the difficulties you are experiencing and how you feel.
If you have not made the request under Claire’s Law this will be concern because of your partner’s history. Children’s services want you to show that you are putting your children’s needs first and being protective of them. Children’s services do not want you to minimise what is happening in your relationship, make excuses or try to justify your partner’s behaviour.

This guide about working with social worke r may be useful to you.

The last incident when you blacked out is likely to be the reason children’s services have decided to carry out s.47 enquiries. This is to assess the family and reach a conclusion whether, based on the outcome of the investigation there should be an initial child protection conference. Since you now have a date for the conference that is the recommendation and, you may find it helpful to read the information here about child protection procedures. There is also a film to help you understand what happens on the day.

It is not clear why you feel a prisoner in your home or why you cannot take your children out. Children’s services carrying out s47 enquiries would not prevent you going out with your children. Also, you were probably asked to sign consent to the social worker contacting your GP or other professionals as part of the s.47 enquiries.

To answer your specific questions:
Can someone advise me can social services do this a section 47 just because my ex has a past
Children’s services are not carrying out s.47 only because of your partner’s past but because there are concerns about how this is impacting you and your children. They will also be concerned about your way of dealing with the domestic issues between you and your partner and to ensure the children are living in a safe environment.

You may find it helpful to read this information about domestic violence

Can they treat me like I'm a bad mom and not allowed to go out my own home with my own children.
As stated above, I do not see why you are not able to go out with your children. You do not say why this is the case, but the only reason would be if the children are at risk of harm

Can they take my children away where there has been no harm come to them and even social services have said they are very well cared for too.
Children’s services will only take action to remove children if they are suffering harm in the environment where they are living. They are well looked after from what you say, so that means that children’s services are likely to be concerned about their emotional well-being. Child protection is not about removing children but to work with the family to ensure the children are safe.

Can they stop my partner coming back to outer family home when social services have said he poses no risk at all to the children

You have said your partner can return on 1st September. If children’s service believes that there is risk of harm to children, they can ask him not to return to the home perhaps until they have done a risk assessment, or he does a programme for perpetrator of domestic violence.

You should by now have received the report which recommends an initial child protection conference, and it should set out clearly the concerns and the reason for the conference.

Do read the information in the link above and watch the film in preparation for the meeting. The important thing is that you show you are putting your children’s needs first and being a protective parent. It is also important to work openly and honestly with children's services to get the best outcome for you and your children.

I hope you will find this information helpful. Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

Best wishes

Suzie