I want my son back
I want my son back
I need somebody to help me please and get my son. Basically my ex partner who I was in an abusive relationship with has caused me nothing but trouble since the day I met him, he found out months ago I was with someone and didn’t like it so got my son to tell lies and say that this guy I was with was hitting him in the belly, I don’t believe for one second that he did do that because on the 3 or 4 occasions that my son met him I was there the whole time but obviously you have to take that allegation seriously quite rightly so, so when he called ss to tell them all this they came round and everything was dropped because my son was safe and is safe and I ended the relationship but I also told ss and the police that this would happen again if I met someone ever again. And here we are, so my ex then finds out I’m with someone again only this time will not bring my son home because he was at his for the weekend and said that this new partner of mine was hitting me this time and in front of My son. So again I ended the relationship because I can not be bothered with his drama. Only this time he still has my son. He put him in a new school without me knowing and won’t bring him home. He then filled in a C100 and put it in the court, he wouldn’t tell me where he lives or let me see my son. He then said I could see My son if I did a drugs test and met him at a tram stop, I am not taking a drugs test for him, I will take one for court or for as but not him cos it’s control. I spoke to my son on the phone and remained calm and positive and My son told me all about the school fair and he seemed fine (I have this conversation recorded on a device) the c100 was rejected so My ex called me and said it was my fault as I hadn’t filled one out, my legal adviser never told me I had to or I would have. Anyway he stopped me talking to him again for a few days and then let My son ring me but My son wouldn’t talk and when his dad said why won’t you talk He said because of that nasty man. Yet the week before there was no mention of this nasty man. Now I’m sorry but he’s brainwashing my son. So yesterday I face timed my son again and this time he looked so scared and was looking at his dad for reassurance before he answered any questions and when I said are you ok he wouldn’t answer. I need someone to go round there and speak to my son by himself because he is not happy and I need him to come home. He’s a nasty abuser, he had social services there a while ago because one of his partners kids dad rang ss. It’s not safe there and I need to get my son home please help me because it is going to mess with my sons head. I told ss to Ask anyone who knows him, speak to her family speak to my family and any of his or my friends. Speak to her kids but don’t give any warning because last time he took them all out buying them toys. He’s evil. I’m heartbroken. He can’t hit me any more so he’s hurting me with our son. But not only that my son is isolated from everyone he spent the most time with, me, my family his friends. It is so cruel.
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4234
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: I want my son back
Dear Ser,
Welcome to the parents’ forum and thankyou for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you have been experiencing and I hope that the following advice is of some help.
You say that your son is living with his father who is now refusing to allow him to come back into your care. The father has made allegations that several of your partners have been violent towards you and your son, however you deny this. You say that children’s services were involved when the father made the first allegation and that they closed the case after meeting with you.
You say that the father of your child was abusive to you in the past. If you have any safeguarding concerns about your child – if you feel that he is at risk of harm in his father’s care – then I would encourage you to report this to children’s services immediately. They will then undertake an assessment if necessary. However if you do not feel that he is at risk of harm but you are unable to come to an agreement with the father you may need to consider mediation or making an application to the family court for a Child Arrangements Order. The court will then consider who the child should live with and what contact he should have with the other parent. Family Rights Group do not advise about private family law however the following organisations may be able to offer you some advice:
1) Child Law Advice - https://childlawadvice.org.uk/ - 0300 300 5480
2) Rights of Women - https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/ - they have a helpline and useful guides on their website
3) Advice Now - https://www.advicenow.org.uk/ - this website has useful guides including about making court applications
4) Support Through Court - https://www.supportthroughcourt.org/ - offer appointments to support people representing themselves at court
I hope that this is of some help.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ forum and thankyou for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you have been experiencing and I hope that the following advice is of some help.
You say that your son is living with his father who is now refusing to allow him to come back into your care. The father has made allegations that several of your partners have been violent towards you and your son, however you deny this. You say that children’s services were involved when the father made the first allegation and that they closed the case after meeting with you.
You say that the father of your child was abusive to you in the past. If you have any safeguarding concerns about your child – if you feel that he is at risk of harm in his father’s care – then I would encourage you to report this to children’s services immediately. They will then undertake an assessment if necessary. However if you do not feel that he is at risk of harm but you are unable to come to an agreement with the father you may need to consider mediation or making an application to the family court for a Child Arrangements Order. The court will then consider who the child should live with and what contact he should have with the other parent. Family Rights Group do not advise about private family law however the following organisations may be able to offer you some advice:
1) Child Law Advice - https://childlawadvice.org.uk/ - 0300 300 5480
2) Rights of Women - https://rightsofwomen.org.uk/ - they have a helpline and useful guides on their website
3) Advice Now - https://www.advicenow.org.uk/ - this website has useful guides including about making court applications
4) Support Through Court - https://www.supportthroughcourt.org/ - offer appointments to support people representing themselves at court
I hope that this is of some help.
Best wishes
Suzie
Re: I want my son back
Suzie is absolutely correct. You need to take this to court IMMEDIATELY to get a court order returning your son to you.
When the case goes to court, the judge will probably order a Section 7 report, or if a child is at significant risk, a Section 37. Both reports will be conducted by qualified social workers and will look at what is in the best interest of the child.
I depresses me when a so-called "parent" plays immature stunts such as this, which is manifestly not in the child's best interests.
You do not need a lawyer for family court if you cannot afford it. You could self represent with advice from this forum or by hiring a McKenzie friend.
If you are on a very low income, you can apply for help with court fees and may be able to get the case free of charge.
If there is a documented history of domestic abuse, you may be entitled to legal aid.
When the case goes to court, the judge will probably order a Section 7 report, or if a child is at significant risk, a Section 37. Both reports will be conducted by qualified social workers and will look at what is in the best interest of the child.
I depresses me when a so-called "parent" plays immature stunts such as this, which is manifestly not in the child's best interests.
You do not need a lawyer for family court if you cannot afford it. You could self represent with advice from this forum or by hiring a McKenzie friend.
If you are on a very low income, you can apply for help with court fees and may be able to get the case free of charge.
If there is a documented history of domestic abuse, you may be entitled to legal aid.
Re: I want my son back
You state in your post that the relationship was "abusive". Do you have any EVIDENCE of this abuse (eg you confided in a GP, or made a police call out)? If so, you can get legal aid and assistance in court.
The correct information is here:
https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid/domestic-abuse-or-violence
The correct information is here:
https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid/domestic-abuse-or-violence
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4234
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: I want my son back
Dear benion
Thank you for your posts in response to Ser. I think as the online adviser at Family Rights Group I should clarify a couple of points in your posts.
An application can be made to the court for the return of her son and in the first instance this can for a specific issue order as well as a child arrangement order that her son should live with her going forward. It is correct that the court will request a s.7 report which may be completed by Cafcass or children’s services. The court will only direct a s.37 report if it is considered that the parents’ action is such that it is causing the child harm of any kind. The purpose of a s.37 report is for children’s services to carry out an assessment and decide whether the circumstances require them to apply for a care order.
It is correct that the mother can represent herself in any application she makes to the court. However, the remit of our services is to advise on cases where children’s services are directly involved. Details of the services who can assist in a private law case was provided in an earlier post to Ser.
You have suggested in your post that the mother can hire a McKenzie friend. I should clarify that a Mckenzie friend can be a family member. This person provides support at court. It is correct that there are persons who charge of their services as a McKenzie friend. A McKenzie friend is not able to address the court but can remind someone of thing they may have forgotten to bring to the attention of the judge. He or she takes notes and can read the court documents but must ensure that there is no discussion outside about the matters dealt with in court. I wanted to clarify the role of a McKenzie friend as it may give the impression that they can represent someone in court who does not have a lawyer but that is not the case. They provide assistance and support and can be a family member, friend or sometimes a domestic violence service supporter.
You are correct that it is possible to obtain an exemption from the court fees and the applicant can look at form EX160 for more information about this.
Best wishes
Suzie
Thank you for your posts in response to Ser. I think as the online adviser at Family Rights Group I should clarify a couple of points in your posts.
An application can be made to the court for the return of her son and in the first instance this can for a specific issue order as well as a child arrangement order that her son should live with her going forward. It is correct that the court will request a s.7 report which may be completed by Cafcass or children’s services. The court will only direct a s.37 report if it is considered that the parents’ action is such that it is causing the child harm of any kind. The purpose of a s.37 report is for children’s services to carry out an assessment and decide whether the circumstances require them to apply for a care order.
It is correct that the mother can represent herself in any application she makes to the court. However, the remit of our services is to advise on cases where children’s services are directly involved. Details of the services who can assist in a private law case was provided in an earlier post to Ser.
You have suggested in your post that the mother can hire a McKenzie friend. I should clarify that a Mckenzie friend can be a family member. This person provides support at court. It is correct that there are persons who charge of their services as a McKenzie friend. A McKenzie friend is not able to address the court but can remind someone of thing they may have forgotten to bring to the attention of the judge. He or she takes notes and can read the court documents but must ensure that there is no discussion outside about the matters dealt with in court. I wanted to clarify the role of a McKenzie friend as it may give the impression that they can represent someone in court who does not have a lawyer but that is not the case. They provide assistance and support and can be a family member, friend or sometimes a domestic violence service supporter.
You are correct that it is possible to obtain an exemption from the court fees and the applicant can look at form EX160 for more information about this.
Best wishes
Suzie
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