I'm having a baby with a sex offender

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: I'm having a baby with a sex offender

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Aug 01, 2022 4:37 pm

Starling wrote: Thu Jul 28, 2022 4:32 pm Hi I am not sure where to post it who can give me the correct advice. My partner of a year committed a sexual offence with a 16 years 2 years prior to us meeting. He was a secondary school teacher. Therefore, was given a 14 month prison sentence. We have been together for a year and he told me the situation at the beginning but it was called nothing more than an affair, but he was 33 at the time. I don’t know what to do with my future as I am 35 and wish to have a family of my own and as much as I love him I do worry that it is going to affect my future, being that it’s already turnt my life upside down. Regarding my work and my relationship with my family which I feel awful about. I would greatly appreciate any advise that anyone can give me as to weither having children with this man is going to cause more problems ect, shall I just walk away! So so confused.
Thank you for reading

Dear Starling

Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, I am an online advisor and will be responding to your post today.

I am sorry to hear of your distress. I hope the information provided is helpful to you.

Your partner was convicted of a sexual offence two years prior to your relationship starting. He received a custodial sentence for this. You would like to potentially start a family with him, but have some reservations due to his conviction and the impact this may have on your family life. You are confused and not sure whether to continue your relationship or to ‘just walk away’. You would like to know what involvement children’s services are likely to have if you decided to have a child with him and remain in the relationship.

As advised by other responders, should you become pregnant children’s services would need to assess risk and potential risk. This will include the risk your partner potentially poses and your ability to keep your child safe from harm. I have added a link HERE which I hope you find helpful. It is our information and guidance regarding pre- birth assessment. When an assessment is carried out in relation to an unborn baby, it is called a pre-birth assessment. It is carried out in much the same way as other social work assessments but is completed before the birth. It will include the social worker speaking with the mother’s midwife and other relevant health practitioners. I have also added a link HERE to our parents to be information page. On this page you will find help, support and pre-birth assessment and how children’s services may respond when worried about a baby’s safety

You do not say whether your partner is placed on the Sex Offenders Register or whether he is subject to a Sexual Harm Prevention Order (SHPO) . If you feel it is safe to do so, I suggest you discuss this with your partner. It would be a good idea to work with professionals to ensure you are fully aware of the situation and that risks and potential risks are fully known and assessed and what restrictions (if any) are in place.

I have added a general link HERE to the Stop it Now! organisation. They are a child protection charity, working to prevent child sexual abuse. They provided a confidential helpline, live chat and secure messaging service. This is their confidential helpline number – 0808 1000 900.

As advised within other posts, it will be important to work with professionals and to complete any recommended courses. This applies to you and your partner. I have added a link HERE to our ‘top tips’ when working with social workers to ensure effective communications and how best to approach meetings and appointments with them. It also has information and guidance on how to approach and address matters if you are not satisfied with the service you are receiving.

I hope you find this information useful.  Should you wish to speak to an adviser please call our free advice line: 0808 801 0366 (Mon to Fri 9.30a.m. – 3.00p.m) excluding bank holidays. Or you can, of course post on here again.
Best wishes, Suzie

benion
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Re: I'm having a baby with a sex offender

Post by benion » Tue Aug 02, 2022 6:42 pm

Please listen to "Need Help 2021".
If you get pregnant with this gentleman, SS will be involved like a shot (rightly so) and they will make your life a nightmare.
Read through some other posters' experiences on here who are on the SOR or their partner is.
SS take stuff like this very seriously indeed.
If you want a family, I advise you walk away and find another man....even though that is not a nice thing for me to say. Sorry.

Need help 2021
Posts: 161
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: I'm having a baby with a sex offender

Post by Need help 2021 » Thu Aug 04, 2022 8:06 pm

Hi does anyone know how can you apply to come of the sexoffender register and how long do I have to stay on it before I can apply to come off thank you

WhiteOrchid
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Re: I'm having a baby with a sex offender

Post by WhiteOrchid » Thu Aug 04, 2022 11:35 pm

Hi Need Help,
It depends on when the conviction becomes spent I believe - it’s varies for different offences. The Unlock website will be able to help you.
If you have a SHPO in place, I believe you can challenge it at any time but if you challenge it within five years, the court order is dissolved with input from the police so I believe it would be more difficult but after five years, I think the court can dissolve the order without the police or they are at least, less involved.

Need help 2021
Posts: 161
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: I'm having a baby with a sex offender

Post by Need help 2021 » Fri Aug 05, 2022 7:50 am

Thank you for the reply it says on his paper woek he can apply to coke if it early I gess he needs to speck to his probation officer and also I wanted to ask when his son turns 16 and he wants to meet him unsupervised can he he doesn’t have any conditions on his shpo only social have put things in place

WhiteOrchid
Posts: 16
Joined: Thu Aug 12, 2021 9:07 pm

Re: I'm having a baby with a sex offender

Post by WhiteOrchid » Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:15 am

Hi Need Help,

Yes, I believe that is correct. I think the police, assuming his probation officer will have input into the dissolving the order if within the first five years. I also think it would be possible for your son to see his father unsupervised at some point, but I believe it would depend on what he knows about his father's offense and what "safe work" has been completed in order for him to protect himself. The social worker should also be taking your child's view into consideration, so whilst he would not immediately be granted unsupervised, you could certainly work towards it. Social services cannot enforce contact restrictions if they have not been ordered by the court but can, of course, make life difficult.

Need help 2021
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Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: I'm having a baby with a sex offender

Post by Need help 2021 » Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:33 am

My son is 3 at the moment so he does have time until he is 16 years old if he turns around and says he wants his dad to stay with him what will happened at the moment the court is going to decide Wht plans should be in place in the long team And I gess then they will close the case becaue they are happy that I am protecting my son and moved away . And if I am right when he is 18 he can decide what every he wants socail will not be involved if I am correct.

Toughlife
Posts: 21
Joined: Sun Jun 12, 2022 12:27 am

Re: I'm having a baby with a sex offender

Post by Toughlife » Mon Aug 08, 2022 1:26 am

Hi
It is possible for him to be granted unsupervised access to his kids (unless that is part of his sopo). If the probation service and the police offender manager are happy with his progress and he has shown remorse then they can make a referral to social services to grant him unsupervised access. I am in the register and I have unsupervised access to my kids.
It is possible.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: I'm having a baby with a sex offender

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Aug 10, 2022 12:47 pm

Need help 2021 wrote: Thu Aug 04, 2022 8:06 pm Hi does anyone know how can you apply to come of the sexoffender register and how long do I have to stay on it before I can apply to come off thank you
Dear Need help 2021

Thank you for your question Unlock has a helpful answer to it on their website here.

I have extracted what it says for ease but do explore their website further.

Do I need a solicitor to apply to come off the register?

No, you can apply to the police force in your local area to vary the registration time under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 (Remedial) Order 2012. They would take a number of factors into consideration in determining a response to your request. See our sex offence notification requirements section.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes
Suzie

Need help 2021
Posts: 161
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: I'm having a baby with a sex offender

Post by Need help 2021 » Wed Aug 10, 2022 2:32 pm

Thank you for your replay so if he is on the register for 10 years he can come off before if I am correct.

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