Starling wrote: ↑Thu Jul 28, 2022 4:32 pm Hi I am not sure where to post it who can give me the correct advice. My partner of a year committed a sexual offence with a 16 years 2 years prior to us meeting. He was a secondary school teacher. Therefore, was given a 14 month prison sentence. We have been together for a year and he told me the situation at the beginning but it was called nothing more than an affair, but he was 33 at the time. I don’t know what to do with my future as I am 35 and wish to have a family of my own and as much as I love him I do worry that it is going to affect my future, being that it’s already turnt my life upside down. Regarding my work and my relationship with my family which I feel awful about. I would greatly appreciate any advise that anyone can give me as to weither having children with this man is going to cause more problems ect, shall I just walk away! So so confused.
Thank you for reading
Dear Starling
Thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, I am an online advisor and will be responding to your post today.
I am sorry to hear of your distress. I hope the information provided is helpful to you.
Your partner was convicted of a sexual offence two years prior to your relationship starting. He received a custodial sentence for this. You would like to potentially start a family with him, but have some reservations due to his conviction and the impact this may have on your family life. You are confused and not sure whether to continue your relationship or to ‘just walk away’. You would like to know what involvement children’s services are likely to have if you decided to have a child with him and remain in the relationship.
As advised by other responders, should you become pregnant children’s services would need to assess risk and potential risk. This will include the risk your partner potentially poses and your ability to keep your child safe from harm. I have added a link HERE which I hope you find helpful. It is our information and guidance regarding pre- birth assessment. When an assessment is carried out in relation to an unborn baby, it is called a pre-birth assessment. It is carried out in much the same way as other social work assessments but is completed before the birth. It will include the social worker speaking with the mother’s midwife and other relevant health practitioners. I have also added a link HERE to our parents to be information page. On this page you will find help, support and pre-birth assessment and how children’s services may respond when worried about a baby’s safety
You do not say whether your partner is placed on the Sex Offenders Register or whether he is subject to a Sexual Harm Prevention Order (SHPO) . If you feel it is safe to do so, I suggest you discuss this with your partner. It would be a good idea to work with professionals to ensure you are fully aware of the situation and that risks and potential risks are fully known and assessed and what restrictions (if any) are in place.
I have added a general link HERE to the Stop it Now! organisation. They are a child protection charity, working to prevent child sexual abuse. They provided a confidential helpline, live chat and secure messaging service. This is their confidential helpline number – 0808 1000 900.
As advised within other posts, it will be important to work with professionals and to complete any recommended courses. This applies to you and your partner. I have added a link HERE to our ‘top tips’ when working with social workers to ensure effective communications and how best to approach meetings and appointments with them. It also has information and guidance on how to approach and address matters if you are not satisfied with the service you are receiving.
I hope you find this information useful. Should you wish to speak to an adviser please call our free advice line: 0808 801 0366 (Mon to Fri 9.30a.m. – 3.00p.m) excluding bank holidays. Or you can, of course post on here again.
Best wishes, Suzie