Social worker being inappropriate

MNB98
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 18, 2022 9:49 am

Social worker being inappropriate

Post by MNB98 » Fri Jun 24, 2022 10:26 pm

Hi I’m new to this forum and could really use some advice. A sexual abuse allegation was made against my husband, he was bailed to a relatives address so isn’t in the home but can visit as long as he’s supervised whilst the investigation is done. We were referred to social care with our children being seen as at risk, I fully understand the concern and agreed to go on a child protection plan as I was told this would be a quick assessment and would mean my husband good for back to having the kids unsupervised as soon as restrictions were lifted - how naive was I. This was when the trouble started, the new social worker is a nightmare and has no communication skills with children. She has only met with them twice for a total of 45 mins but apparently seems to think she knows them better than I do. I have always been clear that the childrens safety is my priority but I won’t damage their relationship with their father just to make the social workers job easy at the end of the day I’m the one left picking up the pieces. She keeps insisting that I tell my 10 yr old all the details of my husbands arrest and what he’s been accused of which I don’t agree with. He is aware of his dads arrest and knows he’s been accused of something bad that if proven could mean we can’t see him for a while and he could go to prison. He’s said himself he doesn’t actually want to know. The social worker isn’t happy with this and keeps saying ‘he’s 10 you should just tell him’. She was supposed to be meeting with myself and the children together to have an informal chat and discuss appropriate relationships with them, when she arrived she insisted my son go in his room on his own with her to do this. When he came downstairs he was really quiet and later went to his grandparents where he broke down saying she had repeatedly questioned him on his dads arrest and what he had been told as well as saying he was 10 so should be told more - he’s begged me for him to never have to see her again. I’d already told her that he was aware but I didn’t feel it was fair to terrify a happy young boy for something that may not even happen, my husband had also said the same to her an hour before she came over and said as a family we would deal with it in stages. I’ve contacted school as I’m worried she will instead just turn up at school now and interrogate him there without telling me. They said she’d called them to say she thought he should be told more and she was going to approach it ‘gently’ which she didn’t.
Can she do this?? I just don’t understand how they can completely disregard our wishes and do something so damaging to him, he’s far more distressed now then when this started. I had to have a ‘chat’ with her as part of the assessment that turned into a 90 minute police style interrogation so I dread to think what he’s feeling. I’ve asked to speak to her manager and she’s refused to give me her contact details and said to my husband we can only speak to her if she’s present.
I’m at my wits end and don’t know what our rights are
Thank you

Need help 2021
Posts: 121
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: Social worker being inappropriate

Post by Need help 2021 » Fri Jun 24, 2022 10:32 pm

The sad thing is that whey don’t I don’t understand what it can do to a child I know they are there to protect kids but by telling them it will rip them apart and I feel 10 years is still young he will not understand is his dad still seeing him

MNB98
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 18, 2022 9:49 am

Re: Social worker being inappropriate

Post by MNB98 » Fri Jun 24, 2022 10:40 pm

This is my worry, there are only 3 things on the plan and the main one is to support the children to have a safe and engaging relationship with their dad - she is completely against this though. He does see them, some weeks more than others. At the last meeting he said to her he sees them a few times a week depending on how busy the kids are, her response was ‘we’ll put that at twice a week then’ he has no restrictions on how many times he can see them. She’s said I should keep reiterating that his dads done something bad and the police are now investigating - he’s not even been charged with anything

Need help 2021
Posts: 121
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: Social worker being inappropriate

Post by Need help 2021 » Fri Jun 24, 2022 10:50 pm

That’s bloody crazy honestly if he hasent been charged for something yet how can they treat him like this have they asked you if you want to still continue your relationship with him I have had social since my son was 8 months it has been a nightmare honestly my son is only 3 now he is no put down to child protection plan.

MNB98
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 18, 2022 9:49 am

Re: Social worker being inappropriate

Post by MNB98 » Fri Jun 24, 2022 11:02 pm

They have asked if we are together and we’ve said we are separated - he’s now living at a relatives. We’ve basically put our relationship on hold so the kids can come first whilst this is all sorted but then she said we were making that up and ‘fobbing the kids off’ because we are still trying to support each other. I’m sorry to hear you’ve had to deal with them for so long, I honestly don’t think I can take much more

Need help 2021
Posts: 121
Joined: Fri Oct 15, 2021 9:23 pm

Re: Social worker being inappropriate

Post by Need help 2021 » Fri Jun 24, 2022 11:14 pm

Wht actually happend how did socail just get involved ?

Zool117
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2022 8:44 pm

Re: Social worker being inappropriate

Post by Zool117 » Sat Jun 25, 2022 12:53 am

My daughter is under a care plan put in place by Cornwall social services the case has not yet been moved over to welsh social service. Can Welsh social services make demands that conflict with the working care plan that is in place and what has been agreed. I am the father and Cornwall social services have said that I can be at mum an babys address no restrictions whats so ever. Welsh social services come out to mum an babys address and order me off the premises with no paperwork and no reason but said they had to see me leave there and then. I complied with the demand even though I was extremely confused and upset. I talked to the social worker in Cornwall social worker was outraged and said that they had no rights to do what they did and said to go back when I wish to and that they cannot stop me seeing my daughter and that she would be personal contacting the social that ordered me off the premises and the manager directly and she did so. 3 days ago the same social worker that ordered me off the premises come out to the address again and made a threatening statement that legel preceeding would begin within 3 weeks if I did not leave mum and babys address. I then again contacted Cornwall the social workers who was absolutely shocked and appalled as both times my self and mum found the visit to be extremely distressing and we found him to extremely intimidating and aggressive by the end of both visit we was shacking with fear. He also fabricated lies on both occasion in regards to my conduct though the visits and said to mum you should move back to Cornwall if you want the father to be involved with the baby. After this cornwall social worker manager made official complaints and said that he is to not to attend the address again as they has no rights to be out in the capacity. So today the same social arrived at mums property Cornwall said that if he attended that we should let him in and refuse the visit and ask him to leave the premises immediately witch we did also recorded the conversation. The social worker in Wales report back that I was aggressive and chased him down the road and tried to block him for entering his car witch is nut as I said record the hole visit and never left the premises. He then made threats about returning with the police. What should we do as we as we feel like we are being victimtmed and harassed by Welsh social services. Cornwall social worker and the manager have seen the video and know my self and mum and are in disbelieve and are outraged with what has happened. What steps can we make to end this nightmare as we are both terrified. The Welsh social services manager also tried implying that mums is mentally compromised because she was distressed with the visits. A massive thank you to anyone that responds

MNB98
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 18, 2022 9:49 am

Re: Social worker being inappropriate

Post by MNB98 » Sat Jun 25, 2022 8:14 am

Oh my goodness that’s just awful! You can speak to the social services ombudsman regarding this I think

Zool117
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2022 8:44 pm

Re: Social worker being inappropriate

Post by Zool117 » Sat Jun 25, 2022 10:27 pm

I think I'm going to need to only don't really know were to start

MNB98
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed May 18, 2022 9:49 am

Re: Social worker being inappropriate

Post by MNB98 » Sat Jun 25, 2022 10:40 pm

You have to lodge a complaint with the social care department first which by the sounds of it, you’ve already done. You can then go straight to the ombudsman to assess

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