Trying to be a family again

[Togetherforever]

Hi everyone

Hope doing this rite

Want to speak or get advise from people in the same situation or similar

I had a conviction for sexual assault from many years ago when I was 15 , but only risen in later years I had a family 2 children and a life , but I got found guilty and went to jail ,I have since been released and I am still appealing conviction , but the social service won’t let me go back to my family they have said because my wife doesn’t believe the conviction she can’t safe guarding in the future , she has done two advance child safe guarding courses and changing mind thinking course and I have had probation risk assessment and was low risk then I got put threw a psychological assessment came back as low risk then another independent assessment and that came back low risk , after all this the social did there own assessment and failed us on one thing only, that don’t believe the conviction so later on can’t safe guard , they have said they is no issues at home perfect safe and healthy home and supervised contact is no issues and kids are happy , the social have now said they are taking us to court because we want to move back in together as a family but not to remove the children or stop the contact so make no sense , my contact is 1hr every 2 weeks

Prior to this i was in jail in a d cat prison full open low security jail no fence work out side all week and weekend see my family unsupervised and every 3 weeks would go home , then I got released and lost everything they said the prison signed all that off the social are not signing off for you to have contact ,

So now everybody is very confused what is going to happen even solicitor have said they don’t no what they want to do at court , has anyone been this far please

Please any advice would be great full

And just so you no we do understand the risk and have completely complying with social and the job they have to do we understand it may never go away if lose appeal and have to work to live with it but we are willing to do that but social don’t want to move forward to help this happen

[Lilmisslala89]

Hi OP, i don't really have much advise other than to be strong and keep fighting for what you know is right for your family.

Myself and the children's dad are in a similar place having done everything asked of us in regards to courses, worked with them, attended every meeting etc and jumped through hoops. All we are wanting is a step forward in regards to contact starting to be less supervised.

I wish you all the luck in the world, everyone can change, SS just don't give people that chance to show how much.

[Togetherforever]

Thank you so much for your message , you are rite that is the hardest bit trying to move forward and trying to get steps put in place.

Can I ask how long you have been going on now and can you see any light at the end of the road or are they giving you any hope

Thank you again

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Togetherforever,

Welcome to the parents forum and thankyou for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you and your family have experienced.

Children’s services have told you that they are making an application to court as they have concerns about your plan to move back into the family home. This is due to your conviction for sexual assault and the fact that you and your partner deny that this happened. You are unclear about what exactly children’s services intentions are and what kind of application they are making to court, however you have been told that that children’s services don’t plan to stop the current contact and that they don’t think that your children need to be removed from your partner’s care. Given this information it may be that they are making an application for a supervision order. This order can last for up to a year and the court can then extend this for a further two years. The order places a duty on children’s services to ‘advise, assist and befriend’ a child and their family. There would be some element of monitoring and a social worker would visit the home regularly. This order does not give children’s services the power to remove a child from their home. However I must reiterate that this is only one possible scenario and I cannot provide you with any certainty about what kind of application children’s services have made/are planning to make.

I would suggest that you request a meeting with the social worker, and perhaps their manager, to discuss their intentions and get some clarity. Or you could request them to put their intentions in writing by emailing the social worker and copying in their manager. You say that you wish to move back into the family home; it is important that you are very clear about what steps children’s services might take if this were to happen.

You may find it helpful to take a look at our website pages here as it has information about care (and related) proceedings. Although it sounds as if children’s services are not considering making an application to court for a care order it is important to be fully informed if things change regarding this in future. You mention that you have a solicitor but I am unclear whether this is a child law solicitor or your criminal law solicitor? If children services initiate the pre-proceedings process and you do not have child law solicitor then you will need to contact a solicitor specialising in children law as soon as possible (see this link here for more information).

Have you considered asking for a family group conference to involve your wider network (of family and friends) in drawing up your own safety plan? If you think that this might be helpful then you could ask the social worker to arrange this.

I hope that this has been helpful. Please do post back if you would like any further advice, or you can call our helpline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak with an adviser.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Togetherforever]

Hi suzie

The children services have not told us what order they are going for yet I spoke to social worker yesterday and she said they are still writing it up could be another week or so,

You are not the first profession to say a supervision order could you please explain what that means, and what happens after year or two please

We have had family and friends assisted and all failed on same thing that don’t believe the conviction , they have even asked us if we would get in touch with the alleged victim and ask her to supervise which we thought was crazy ,

Yes we have a family/child law solicitors thank you ,

We have done a family conference where the social said in the report that there is a lot of support and everybody understands the risk and children would never be left on there own but because of them not believing the conviction have said over time they feel everyone would let they guard down and not follow the rules ,

Family and friends have never broke any rules and followed everything , so we just don’t understand where this comes from , every body understands the risk they have said and things that have to be put in place but we just want a plan to move forwards

Thank you

[Lilmisslala89]

Thank you so much for your message , you are rite that is the hardest bit trying to move forward and trying to get steps put in place.

Can I ask how long you have been going on now and can you see any light at the end of the road or are they giving you any hope

Thank you again

Hi, we have currently been going just over a year now. It really is one massive rollercoaster. From the beginning being told it would only be a child in need plan, to then being escalated, to things getting better, to then be put on a child protection plan and now still fighting. We had initially thought things were going to be moving forward for the better, given hope that things could start to be planned for, only for it to come crashing down again because managers didnt agree. We have asked for every course known to man, asked for family group conferences but have been denied them (even though i was under the impression we had a right to these?) the way it looks to us, is that no matter what you do, you are damned if you do and damned if you don't. We feel as though we really can't win.

Has there been any progress with your case?

[Togetherforever]

Hi lilmisslala89

Thank you for your reply that is exactly how we feel , no no progression yet , hopefully hear what is going on maybe next week still waiting for social to put paper work in , never any rush with them it’s not there life , they give you so much hope they make up a complete lie and say it’s a misunderstanding so many times this has happened , we are the same been going on a year and a half now ,

All these people going threw the same boat and still they always tell you we don’t no what to do or what plan to be put in place.

Thank you please let me know if get any news

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi suzie

The children services have not told us what order they are going for yet I spoke to social worker yesterday and she said they are still writing it up could be another week or so,

You are not the first profession to say a supervision order could you please explain what that means, and what happens after year or two please

We have had family and friends assisted and all failed on same thing that don’t believe the conviction , they have even asked us if we would get in touch with the alleged victim and ask her to supervise which we thought was crazy ,

Yes we have a family/child law solicitors thank you ,

We have done a family conference where the social said in the report that there is a lot of support and everybody understands the risk and children would never be left on there own but because of them not believing the conviction have said over time they feel everyone would let they guard down and not follow the rules ,

Family and friends have never broke any rules and followed everything , so we just don’t understand where this comes from , every body understands the risk they have said and things that have to be put in place but we just want a plan to move forwards

Thank you

Dear Togetherforever,

Thankyou for your further post and my apologies for the delay in replying to you.

You asked for more information about a supervision order. Please see this link here for an explanation.

I hope that this is helpful. If you would like to discuss this further then you can ring our helpline to speak with one of our advisers on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday 9:30am-3pm).

Best wishes,
Suzie