Son in care, suspected NAI

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Worrieddad123
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Joined: Tue Dec 28, 2021 5:35 pm

Son in care, suspected NAI

Post by Worrieddad123 » Thu Dec 30, 2021 11:00 pm

Hello, been reading a lot of the forums on here and there is some fantastic advice, but I can't find anything similar to the situation me and my partner find ourselves in. In early November, our the. 6 month old son seemed not to be using his left arm as much as his right, he began to get upset when it was touched while changing him. So we took him to hospital. It was a suspected pulled elbow which the nurse tried quite aggressively to manipulate back into place. This didn't work and a subsequent x-ray was taken. This found that our son had a spiral fracture to his left humerous. At the time only my partner could be in the hospital with the COVID restrictions. The doctor asked her how this has happened to which she did not know. There was nothing that she could think of that had happened over the previous few days prior. So because of this, the injury was put down as highly suspicious of a non accidental inflicted injury. They then proceeded to remove our son from our care and place him with a foster carer where he stayed for about a week. This was extremely distressing for me and my partner. I wasn't asked to attend hospital or to have an input into how this could have happened. They got my partner to sign section 20 and that was it! He is now with maternal grandparents thankfully. However me and his mum have now split, there were two incidents of domestic violence in or relationship which happened 3 months prior. They were seemingly minor incidents and this was not s regular occurrence. Court proceedings have started, a fact finding hearing listed and it's thought to go on for about 6 months. We are scared of the overall outcome. We have thought about everything leading up to taking him into hospital and we believe it could have happened while he was very upset in his jumperoo. We think he may have some how twisted himself in their while his arm has been stuck, however the paediatrician at the hospital said he did not think it was possible. A second opinion from a paediatric radiologist has been sought but wownt be done until march. Just wanted some advice from people on here. Me and mum are both willing to do absolutely anything to get our son back. Do we stand a better chance of getting him back if we are together and stay strong through this? Do any DV courses they want us to do? I work full time and my partner may end up loosing her job because of this, surely we can offer him a more positive and sustainable future if we were together? Our main focus through this is our son and we just want him back and to be a family again!!! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Concernednanny
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon May 18, 2020 8:21 am

Re: Son in care, suspected NAI

Post by Concernednanny » Sun Jan 02, 2022 8:53 am

Hi worried dad hope you don't mind me reaching out to you...you don't say why you have split with mum...do social services know about the domestic violence between you both...I just wanted to let you know be prepared for the long hall similar happened to my grandson in January 2020 he was 19months at the time..he went into foster care because they said we had had him around the time of the injuries even though we was telling them we hadn't..they told us 6 months for fact finding...I was prepared to fight for 6 months turns out that 6 months turned into 18 months we finished court in September of 2021...luckily our grandson came to live with us in November of 2020 but we had lost 10 months of his life so your lucky your son is still with family...is the family being assessed as his foster carers.

Worrieddad123
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Dec 28, 2021 5:35 pm

Re: Son in care, suspected NAI

Post by Worrieddad123 » Sun Jan 02, 2022 12:37 pm

Hi thanks for your reply. There were only two incidents where we were both violent towards each other but our son was never present. They do now know if the DV. It was my partner that had an appointment with her solicitor and then disclosed the DV and then rang the social worker the same day, didn't tell me anything and left the family home. Bearing in mind I had taken sick leave from work to support her through this. Wasn't sure if it was on the advice of her solicitor. But I believe she has been missdvised. If they are trying to go down the route that in abusive etc then surely that shows that mum has done nothing to protect our son? We both also have previous on our records for DV mine being from 2010 and my partner's from 2018. Yeah it's good that he is with family now. But with me being back to work full time after being on the sick I only get to see him once a week at a contact centre. The hard thing is that I hardly used to have any physical contact with my son. He had really bad separation anxiety from his mum so I would hold him very rarely. It's hard saying all of this in court as I don't want everything to be pinned onto his mum. What took your case so long can I ask? And yes they are looking at long term care prospects. I know his mum is trying to be able to move in to the grand parents home to be with our son but I can't see that happening any time soon

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Son in care, suspected NAI

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Jan 07, 2022 1:27 pm

Dear Worrieddad123

Welcome to the parents’ forum and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am Family Rights Group’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear that your son was injured. This is obviously a very difficult time for you and your family. I apologise for the delay replying to your posts. I will respond to both your posts here.

Your baby son is currently being cared for by his maternal grandparents as he suffered a spiral fracture to his left humerus several months ago. I think that children’s services may have an interim care order for him although initially he was removed under a section 20 voluntary agreement signed by his mother, your ex-partner. You are in care proceedings and both you and your ex-partner rightfully have your own separate solicitors to represent you (this is important as your interests and circumstances may be different). The court has listed a fact finding hearing. You are awaiting further expert medical evidence in March. You are interested to hear other families’ experiences and wondering what you and your ex-partner can do, including possibly reconciling, in order to have your son returned to your and/or his mother’s care.

Cases where there are concerns about non-accidental injuries to babies are very complex and medical evidence is crucial. Other factors such as a history of domestic abuse, which you describe, are also relevant. Another poster has been in touch to share her experiences of a court case about a non-accidental injury to her grandson and she has given an example of the timeframe in that case, for your information. In your son’s situation, luckily he is already with his maternal grandparents and no longer with unrelated foster carers which I hope is some comfort to you.

The solicitor representing you is best placed to advise you, particularly in this type of situation where the medical evidence is so important. They are the best person for you to explore all possibilities with and to help you prepare for the different court hearings. In our top tips and templates section you will find ‘tips for working with your solicitor’ which may help you . There is also some useful information on the child protection resource website about what happens when a child has been hurt and what happens when a child has been hurt and we don’t know who did it.

The incidents of domestic abuse you describe in your relationship with your son’s mother and in each of your/your ex-partner’s previous relationships will also need to be considered. A child seeing, overhearing, living in, or spending time in a household where someone is mistreated will likely be viewed as:

 Evidence the child is suffered significant harm, or
 Evidence the child is at risk of suffering significant harm.

From the information you provide, your ex-partner seems to have moved out after she discussed these incidents.

It would be a good idea to discuss with your solicitor and to ask the social worker whether there are any specific risk assessments or programmes they are recommending that you do in relation to domestic abuse. You can find out more in these FAQs for fathers on domestic abuse and you may find the Respect website helpful.

You were wondering if the outcome will be better if you get back together or remain separated. Where there is a history or concerns about domestic abuse and unless you have done work to address them or your/your ex-partner’s risk has been assessed as very low then these concerns will remain and may even increase if you reconcile. In your case, there is also the very serious issue of the injury to your son. You should discuss your situation fully with your solicitor including your relationship and any future plans you have so that they can advise you on your best options in relation to the court case for your son.

I can see that it is difficult for you getting to see your son only once a week. Have you discussed with the social worker and/or the Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) whether there is any way of increasing this or have you checked if your employer will offer you any time off to facilitate this?

When your son’s mother has contact with him this will be supervised/observed too and so any current issues about your son’s ‘separation anxiety’ may be considered there. Again, the level of involvement and physical contact you had with your son when you lived together as a family can be discussed with your solicitor who is representing you.

The following advice guides to care proceedings and information about children in care under a court order may help you navigate the court and children’s services’ processes with which you are dealing.

If you have any further queries please post again or if you prefer, please call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 – the lines are open Mon – Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm (except Bank Holidays).

Best wishes

Suzie

Worrieddad123
Posts: 3
Joined: Tue Dec 28, 2021 5:35 pm

Re: Son in care, suspected NAI

Post by Worrieddad123 » Wed Feb 02, 2022 10:57 am

Hi

Thanks for your replies. So me and our sons mum now aren't on talking turns. She is basically trying to blame this injury to our son on me. I work full time and have taken two half days through the week where I see my son for two hours each time in a contact centre. Mum is seeing him at her parents where our son is staying every day for three hours. Iv been trying to put my family members forward to act as supervisers but SS are declining all of them. Seems very one sided to me all of this. Mum is lying that I had sole access our son around the time the injury was caused. She has changed her statement on numerous occasions. I have also stressed that her parents aren't even supervising her visits but SS weren't bothered at all. Seems im stuck between a rock and a hard place here. Really struggling to get through all of this at the minute.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3457
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Son in care, suspected NAI

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Feb 02, 2022 6:45 pm

Dear Worrieddad123

Thank you for your further post.

From your post you are feeling frustrated by the fact that your son’s mother is trying to place the blame for his injury on you. If you can prove that your son was not in your care, then this will be considered by the court. Is there going to be a fact-finding hearing and who else other than you and the mother are in the pool of perpetrator. If so, it will be for the court to reach a decision about who caused or is more likely to have caused the injury.

I suggest that you speak with your solicitor about your concerns regarding supervision. They can also find out from children’s services why your family is not being assessed as possible supervisors or anything else you are concerned about.

Please see our guides about working with social workers and solicitors which you may find useful.

You may also find it helpful to contact Parents Accused on 01626 332 266 for more advice.

Hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

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