Do many dads manage to get the lion's share of kid time?

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santababy
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Joined: Sun Nov 28, 2021 10:21 pm

Do many dads manage to get the lion's share of kid time?

Post by santababy » Mon Nov 29, 2021 5:04 pm

Hello.
My kids are 13 and 10. Split up with the narcissist ex 4 years ago. He has never taken the children regularly, not even at weekends. At one point he met a romanian girlfriend and spent all the school holidays in her country for about 17 months.
Recently I met someone and he moved in. He has a criminal record. Police dragged me in for a Claire's law but there was nothing on it about DV, only the conviction for "too many text messages (four) to his ex wife" under the Harassment act. There was also that time in May 2020 when his ex wife was at his mother's with th children and she wouldn't let him see them so he punched the door and unfortunately the glass at th top fell in on her, he didn't even know she was there.
So I knew this Claire's Law was false. In the end, the Police admitted it.
I didn't want to meet th social worker. In th end I did. THere was an ICPC meeting and th children are on th list for "risk of emotional harm". The irony is that they are suffering ACTUAL emotional harm with their dad, who doesn't let them cry.
All the time, th social worker was encouraging my ex to take legal action behind my back. I think that what she should have said was this:
Santababy, you have an opinoin about this man but ours is different. Our opinion goes so you must remove this man from your home asap because action has already been taken to remove your children from your care.
If I had been told that then I would have complied immediately. As it was then I removed him asap after th meeting. That was last wednesday.
1. I have not got my children back yet. Is this normal?
2. My ex wants the children during the week and for me to have them at weekends. In your experience, how many men have achieved that?
Many thanks

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3417
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Do many dads manage to get the lion's share of kid time?

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Dec 03, 2021 3:42 pm

Dear santababy

Thank you for your post and welcome to the board.

If your children are in the care of their father, then you may need to apply for a Child Arrangements Order. However, from what you write the children's father may have started the process already and ‘yes’ it is possible for a father to care for his children. Your children’s views/wishes and opinions (often through a Section 7 report) should/ will be heard in the process of making decisions for them.

You can find more information about Child Arrangements Orders from Child Law Advice and there are some useful booklets about making arrangements for children available from Advice Now.

For information about child protection procedures, please see this page from our website.

Best wishes.

Suzie

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