Maternal grandmother guardianship

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Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2021 7:13 pm

Maternal grandmother guardianship

Post by Abk797 » Thu Dec 02, 2021 7:36 pm

Hi-bit of a long post

So 3 years ago my mother called social services on me as she had a concern over domestic violence and my drinking
After some going back and forth she gained special guardianship as I didn't fight it in court (some of the social workers statements were facts, others were completely made up)
Anyway that's irrelevant now, i shouldnt of had a drink whilst I had my child in my care.

For the last 2 years I have been sleeping on my mums floor so I can be there 24/7 for my son. We have had a few weeks here and there when I have argued with my mum so I haven't been for a few days.

For the last 6 months I have pretty much taken 100% responsibility for my son.
I take him to and from school
My mum picks him up 1 afternoon a week whilst I am in college.
I stay with my son at my address from Friday to Sunday each week.
I take him to friends parties
I take him out and about each weekend
I organised his drum lessons he attends
I wash all his uniforms etc
I do his homework etc with him
I go to college 2 days a week and work the other 3 and have arranged my hours to suit picking him up.
She still gets guardianship allowance but on numerous occasions has refused to give me money to do anything with him at weekends. She also said she had no money to get him to school one week so I had to organise lifts.
Her house is not what I call habitable-I only stay there during the week to suit his school and stop her giving me a hard time.

So she's only around from a Tuesday evening to a Friday morning as she goes to stay at her boyfriends.

We don't hear a word from her whilst she's gone.

But I am still answerable to her if I want to make any decisions about him and obviously if I want to take him anywhere I have to ask for money to be able to take him.

I know she isn't going to give up guardianship voluntarily

Has anyone got experience of trying to get this revolked or removed so we can just get on with our own lives

Also I do not drink any alcohol whatsoever anymore!

Any advice would be greatly received

Thank you

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3265
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Maternal grandmother guardianship

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Dec 06, 2021 5:37 pm

Dear Abk797

Welcome to the Parents’ Forum and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties you are experiencing.

You have explained that your mum has a Special Guardianship Order for your son. This was because at the time you were a victim of domestic violence and were drinking. It is good to hear that you are no longer drinking. And hopefully you are no longer experiencing domestic violence. Did you engage with any services or get support to help you?

From what you say, you have remained very involved with your son and, in fact, in recent times you seem to have become his main carer. You have some concerns about your mum’s care of your son – how she manages money, home conditions, not keeping in touch when she leaves him in your care for half the week. Despite the active role that you are taking your mum remains the main decision-maker for your son and receives a SG allowance for him. You would like your son to return to your care and to apply to end the SGO but think your mum will contest this.

It sounds as if you have made great progress and shown great determination to remain actively involved in your son’s life and in caring for him.

Is it possible for you to discuss your intentions with your mum to see if you can come to some agreement? You could also contact the special guardianship support team at your local children’s services to ask if they can support you/your mum to come to an agreement or to try mediation.

If you are seriously concerned about how your mum is caring for your son and worried that he may be in need or at risk you should discuss this with children’s services or the NSPCC.

Have you seen our advice sheet on Special Guardianships: information for parents. This gives some advice on how to deal with decision-making and disagreements (page 5).

It also sets out how you can go about applying for permission to apply to end a SGO (page 11). The criteria for the court to give permission is that:

There has been a “significant change of circumstances” since the special guardianship order was made, and

There is a chance that the application to end the order will be successful, and it is in the child’s best interests for the application to be heard.

Have you thought about ways in which you can evidence the significant changes you have made, for example, would any professionals such as your GP, your son’s school, a drug or alcohol service etc be able to provide you with support?

If you would like specific legal advice then you could contact Child Law Advice .

There may be other parents on this forum who have been through this situation and successfully ended a SGO for their child who can share their experiences and tips with you.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes


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