What to do, why are we not being left Alone?

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Posts: 3
Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2019 7:10 am

What to do, why are we not being left Alone?

Post by Kaza » Sat Nov 02, 2019 1:48 am

Hi there, need some advice,

We do not believe social are helping or why they are not going away, the first social worker told lies from the start and only meet as twice then went to conference, tried saying she had left letters on her visits no letters recieved until after having a police visit, when asked by police if we knew social workers were trying to get hold of us we said no and as soon as we had details to contact we arranged first meeting with social worker, she sat down with as writing notes asked what happened and family background, we throught she was taking information correctly then her next visit she popped in and gave as the paperwork from her first visit then left.

When reading through the paper work load of mistakes made, we called the social line to be put through to manager and was put through to the social worker and mention concerns and that babies would come to the meeting,

At meeting they said they weren't expected the children social worker said I told parents not to bring them, now if she had listened to us she would of known the day of the meeting we had no one to take care of children due to there commitments. There was a lack of information and conferences was allowed to continue, felt me and my partner was not listened to AGAIN and even laughed at the conference when they left me in tears.

At first core meeting still lack of information, shown them around the house, said it wasn't as bad as it was made out and that the bathroom was upstairs and not downstairs, told them the mistakes in the first meeting and still not been corrected, one of them was a heads social worker.

Also tried making out my partner and children dad was abusive parner when. It was issues with a ex partner that was abusive and left a year before meeting the love of my life.

We have said from the start we are moving for a better life with the children and are in the middle of sorting through the house, there main concern was a room we were using to put stuff ready for a skip.
This room was not being used due to health risks and was shut off from the children.

Said we had to many toys when they were learning toys arranged in small boxes on a selve unit organised in there categories,.

Each visit from New social we shown and said what we planned on doing but still pushed from this room to be cleared partner tried to clear as well as sort through bits that need to be done for our move.

Keep trying to say we are mentally unstable but cleared by doctors.

Sent information over to lado due to my work with children and young adults sending wrong account of what as happened.

Know my partner does late shifts and coming at times knowing he will be sleeping and has affected his work and time with the children due to change in his sleep pattern.

Taking photos after children have been playing and saying a building blocks in which my children was playing with where a danger hazard.

It went to second conference with noone there other then another social worker, chair person and note taker and me lack if information again, new information turn out social worker we have is a trainee. And yet trying to say partner is in control due to having finance but this is agreement between me and my partner and that we are not doing as they say,.. In meeting I was upset due to leaving my baby for the first time as partner was needed to look after the children. Social worker involved was on hoilday.

On visit after she didn't even know what went on in meeting, then we arranged a new core meeting date, she messaged to say she couldn't do due to bank hoilday then expected as to drop everything when on a tight deadline for our move, and now saying she will call the police due to lack of engagement parner message to saying wouldn't be home.

We finally made our move to New House and still not being left Alone saying children have to many toys there a sit and music bouncer for my youngest, they were playing with there fairy set some scuttered over the floor there playing a box of toys, three push trucks and a baby walker nowhere near what we had.

Due to there involvement, my job is under investigation, still information has not been corrected, we didn't recieve our full deposit back from old house due to social involvement. Not being able repaint and clear all stuff we nolonger wanted due to rush to leave. Due to deadline.

Telling as my two and a half should be in nursery and as far as I'm a were the legal age is 5 and even got her a placement at a nursery. Does this have to happen we like having her home and teaching her and taking her out to explore she not behind on development and I take her places to socialise with other children.

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Joined: Thu Jun 27, 2019 7:10 am

Re: What to do, why are we not being left Alone?

Post by Kaza » Wed Nov 06, 2019 1:21 am

Please can someone give advice totally feel like it's getting out of control today health visitor checks tells us we should work with the social that we should accept the placement if we want to be free of them.

Surely this is breaching our rights being falsed to put children in nursery I'm home I have a good set up time to be with them. It's not only my two and half but my 10 months baby too. I got very ill during my pregnancy's and gain a nice bond with them. They have a safe environment to run around indoors and out we go for strolls and outings. We see there interests and save to make it happen for example my eldest loves fairies so we took her to a fairy forest my youngest loves banging so we brought her drums.

Their developmental stages are on target if they weren't I'd understand the children socialise with others on a regular basis so don't understand.

Threating to take us to court if we don't apply.

Where do we stand. I can't found anything that will help?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: What to do, why are we not being left Alone?

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Nov 06, 2019 2:38 pm

Dear Kaza

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board. I see that you joined some time ago but have only recently added 2 posts.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

I see that you are very concerned about children’s services involvement with your family and believe that you should be left alone as they do not need to be involved with you or your children. Understanding what happens when children's services receives a safeguarding referral might help and I suggest that you look at our advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services

It is not clear from your post why children’s services became involved but because you mention that the police has been involved, I assume that the police made the referral to children’s services as they are required to do if they are called out to a home and there are children living there. Whatever the reason, children’s services decided to undertake section 47 child protection enquiries which resulted in a recommendation for an initial child protection conference and subsequently child protection plan.

Children’s services have a duty to ensure that children are living in a safe environment and will try to offer support to parents to help them address any concerns that come to light from their investigations. There is an expectation that parents will engage and work cooperatively with children’s services to try and improve the situation. Please read our advice sheet Child protection procedures for more information.

You do not say what the concerns are or what you are required to do under the child protection plan but it is very important that you adhere to the plan and do what is asked. I understand that you may feel that you do not need to because you are caring well for your children, however, failing to work to plan could lead children’s services to say that you are not cooperating and failing to work with professionals. It could also be considered from their point of view that you are not putting your children’s needs first. This could lead to the case being moved to the next stage which is likely to be pre-proceedings also referred to as PLO (public law outline) meeting. You will be given an opportunity to deal with the things which are not being done.

If children’s services decide to go down this route you would be entitled to have a solicitor attend this meeting with you. However, I would suggest that you try to understand the concerns the children’s services have relating to your children. This is the best way to prevent a decision to go court. Please see our advice sheet Care (and related) proceedings
I suggest that you ask to have a meeting with the social worker’s team manager to discuss the issues that are causing you concerns. The team manager oversees the social worker and should be able to explain and clarify things for you. If your concerns are not resolved from this meeting then, you can consider whether you wish to make a complaint about the way in which your case has been handled.

You may find it helpful to read our advice sheet Challenging decisions and making complaints if you decide to make a formal complaint.

Your health visitor’s advice is that you should consider working with children’s services and I think it is important that you think about this as it is important to show you are able to work with and understand the concerns that children’s services and, perhaps, other professional have at the moment.

You believe that you are taking the best care of your children and want children’s services to be out of your lives but this is unlikely to happen if they believe there are concerns which you do not understand or fail to acknowledge by refusing to work with them.

It might be helpful for you to speak to an adviser and you can do so by telephoning our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes


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Re: What to do, why are we not being left Alone?

Post by Kaza » Mon Nov 18, 2019 6:30 am

Hi suzie thank you for your reply
All we been told is that the social services had a referral and come out to expect but no answer and that lead to the police being called out, the police come at a time me and partner where putting children to bed and spent the day packing the house to move so house was a bit disorganised and sorting through kids toys and placing them in one room to see what we had to keep and throw, on this police visit we were made aware social wanted to see the children and agreed and we made contact, social said they had post letters but we had recieved none and we started working along side them, we found it very confusing they where telling us to get rid of the removal boxes, and make the house a home we said we are moving house still on each visit and amonst the conference we said we are moving and asked why these things are needed it would cost more to take the stuff and cheaper to buy and build new at new property.We we're asked to go through the boxes we already pack take in mind we are on a deadline and still have other stuff we need to do before we moved but still on each visit why have you still got the boxes why has this not been done. We sorted, resorted and empied stuff and getting behind which lead to stuff not being done and repaint of whole house which lead to us losing our deposit money which we need.

Now we are unpacking the best we can but would of been easier to have had the money to build and buy storage, now having do when money there.

They still have not said why they want children in nursery and by law school is not legal till they are 5 had to conference without me and partner being there has we never received invite or would of gone.

Social worker comes looks around asks a few questions and leaves when asked why just asked to sort through one room at a time and will get back to us about children going nursery. If this was law we'd understand but its a parents choice to do this till they are five we have nothing against nursery I'm qualified in childcare we want to give our children one on one attention and give support as they developed their individual needs and to take them to educational place and life skills which me and my partner have time to do and take them to a regular toddler group to mix with other children to socialise.

So still confused and not been given reason or new plan yet.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: What to do, why are we not being left Alone?

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Nov 29, 2019 1:32 pm

Dear Kaza,

Thank you for posting again and clarifying things with me.

I can see that the police must have been called by children services to visit your home and do a welfare check on your children because the social worker had not been able to access your children at the time. That is normal. If a social worker is not able, for some reason, to see children, then often she will come back again until she can see them or sometimes ask the police to do a welfare check.

I am sorry to hear that you were not able to attend the initial child protection conference because you did not know about it. After all, you know your children better than anyone and could have explained things to other professionals about your children and they may then have not been so worried. The conference could have decided that no plan was needed.

The next conference (review) will take place within 12 weeks of the initial conference. This will be your opportunity to show how you have cooperated and you can put forward your views about your children. Have you got that date and also the dates of the
core group meetings?

You say you need to know why there is a child protection plan and why children services want your children to go to nursery.

Ask the social worker these questions but also get copies of the social workers report for the conference and the child protection plan that was made.

The child protection plan is compulsory. It says what support and monitoring will be put in place when children are considered to be at risk of significant harm .
It is usual (as part of the plan)that the social worker will be expected to visit your home regularly and see the children and speak to them alone, if they are old enough. I can see that you are cooperating with this.
The plan should also say what is expected of you as a parent as well as what other professionals (such as the health visitor) must do to make sure your children are safe. If you do not agree with something, ask the social worker to explain why the child protection plan expects you to do something.
The child protection plan will also say what type of harm your children may be at risk of. This could be physical abuse, emotional abuse or sexual abuse or be neglected. Please see our A to Z of terms to see what each category means. It should give you an idea why children services are worried about your children.

You say you have a qualification in child care and are meeting your children’s needs yourself. Ask the social worker to explain why the plan says your children should go to nursery. Does she know about your qualifications? There may be research about the benefits of nursery education, she can show you.

Nursery can also be a gateway to other assessments and support. If the nursery picks up on a child’s behaviour, for example, they can then refer (with the parent’s agreement) for other assessments such as by an educational psychologist. If these things can be done before a child goes to school, then any possible problem can be caught early.
Also, a nursery place is seen as a way of supporting families-taking the pressure off- giving the parents a break so they can do other things or concentrate on younger children.
Sometimes, when there are child protection concerns, children services prefer children to be in school or nursery so that nursery can see the children and support them. Also a social worker can visit children at nursery rather than always at home.
I think you will find our film about child protection conferences helpful and our FAQ’s .

If you have any questions at all please post again. You could also call our advice line for support and advice on 0808 801 0366.
Best wishes,

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Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2016 2:57 am

Re: What to do, why are we not being left Alone?

Post by PerfectlySafeDad » Tue Dec 31, 2019 1:11 pm

Whether there or genuine concerns or not for the children's welfare, everything about this case points to what an utter shambles the CS are and simply unfit for purpose. Their workload is so high they can't cope - but is it surprising when the protocol for intervention is so rigorous and automatic, like a rudderless ship impossible to manage - "the police made the referral to children’s services as they are required to do if they are called out to a home and there are children living there". Not that I have any sympathy for them; if an agency can't cope with it's 'duties', then either the threshold for these duties are set too low and wide or you don't have enough staff to do the job. It's got to be one or other. Fix it, overhaul the whole sorry system, but don't persecute the public to compensate, bully the vulnerable who don't understand their rights or how to challenge/work with it, and don't bluff out an arrogant facade of expertise and moral authority. Admit mistakes and back off. Has this ever ever happened in the annals of social services management?

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