Autism and social services

[AAPR]

Hi I was wondering if you could help me.

My daughter was born nearly 9 months ago previously me and my ex partner at the time had a few arguments. Someone ended up ringing the police and social services came out.

They remained with us for a period of time.
My daughter was then born. 2 weeks later my ex had a nervous breakdown and resulted in him kicking a baby gate and it hit my head (baby was not hurt) he then also tried to stab himself in the face.
They put my daughter into foster care then my parents took her.

Fast forward a couple months he’s been diagnosed with autism and possible adhd. They have been making me do courses on domestic violence which I’ve done everything I’ve been asked. He’s also improved so much. Our court date is coming up and I’m hoping sheesh returned to my care. However I understand there may be some time for him to get better and understand his autism he got diagnosed at the age of 26 so all these years not known what was wrong with himself. My question is at the moment I know he can’t be around us as the risk. Is there any chance if the risk is reduced and minimised what are the chances of him being aloud back home and being a family again. He’s a lovely man and been undiagnosed for years which played a massive part on his mental health. Please any advice would be great full appreciated

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear AAPR

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear of the difficulties that you and your family are currently experiencing. Please accept my apologies for the delay in responding to your post.

You have explained how your baby daughter was removed from your care due to your ex-partner having a mental health crisis and behaving violently when the baby was 2 weeks old. She is currently being cared for by your parents who, I think, must be her kinship foster carers.

Your court date is coming up which I think may be the Issue Resolution Hearing or the Final Hearing and understandably you are hoping that your daughter will be returned to your (sole) care. Has your solicitor advised you about what they expect to happen? Make sure to check with them so that you are properly prepared for the court hearing. Here is a summary of information about final hearings to help you.

Your main query is about the possibly of your ex-partner being able to join you and your daughter again in the future. I can see that you think his diagnosis was long overdue and put him under a great deal of strain. Unfortunately, this did affect you and your baby.

It is good that your ex-partner has now been given a diagnosis as hopefully this will help him to make sense of some of his difficulties and understand better how he functions. Most importantly, hopefully this will mean that he will get the right help and support to assist him in the future. There is useful advice and information available on the National Autistic Society website.

Your ex-partner’s solicitor should advise him on how his diagnosis impacts on the current court case about your baby daughter. Assessments completed as part of the court proceedings will consider how a parent’s own needs and disabilities may impact on their parenting and should include recommendations about what work they need to do or support they should access to be able to meet their child’s needs. Your ex-partner will need to look at these recommendations carefully and to follow up on any work required. I hope he has also done work around domestic violence too.

Whatever happens, it is important that your ex-partner works with all the professionals involved, accesses any services he needs and keeps to any arrangements that are put in place for him to see his daughter. He can try to get an advocate; there is further advice on advocacy here.

I think you will need to await the court’s decision and focus on the recommendations that are made. If your daughter is returned to your sole care, you will be responsible for caring for her and keeping her safe. If your
ex-partner continues to improve he should let children’s services know and work with them to see if he can be reassessed.

I am sorry I cannot give you a clearer answer.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[AAPR]

Thank you for your reply

Yes they recommended that they return to my care. However for ex partner to stay away and him to have supervised contact with his Daughter.

So what you are saying is that he needs to work with all services and then asked to be reassessed.

Thank you for your help