Can Social workers change my birth plan?

[Heg1234]

My son was placed on a child protection plan back in October under domestic abuse in the house hold as me and my sons dad had arguments that clearly got out of hand and police were called.

At the time of the CPP conference I had just found out I was pregnant. I’m due June 2021. From the very start I have said I want dad at my birth and have since decided I want a home birth for many reasons and advantages a home birth can offer.

I’ve done work with a support worker around domestic abuse, in the middle of the gateway programme for domestic abuse awareness and the effect it has on children. I’ve always let social workers in my home for unannounced visits in which they have been very satisfied with my home and my sons day to day care. Dad hasn’t seen my son since October because social say he can’t, he’s also due to start work around domestic violence although I believe they are finding it difficult to work around his long shifts at work which isn’t his fault, but Because of all this I thought things were progressing in the right direction and going well.

Yesterday I had a core group and my social worker made me aware that there will be a CPP conference for my unborn baby and she will be voting for unborn to be placed on a plan which I was devastated to hear and confused by.

They were also saying it’s to soon to tell what will happen around my home birth, that plans will might be put in place about when dad arrives and goes etc. I’m gobsmacked there may be a chance I have to labour on my own with a 2 year old until dad is allowed to come and possibly left on my own if dad has to soon go after the birth and again I’m left with a two year old and new born before I’ve even recovered from birth! And they aren’t even sure if this can happen at home!?

Can they really do this and change/ruin my whole birth experience like this? I just want dad to be here as soon as I feel labour coming on to help with our son and support me and not have to leave me at a certain point/time. Is that really too much to ask from them? I’m in constant worry and stressed over feeling completely in the dark about my own birth.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Heg1234,
Welcome back to the Parent’s Forum. My name is Suzie, FRG’s online adviser.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.
I can see that your 2 year old is on child protection plan due to the domestic violence you suffered and that dad has not seen his son since October 2020. You must be commended for fully cooperated with children services and for doing the domestic violence courses which will help you protect your children from domestic violence, going forward.
Unfortunately, dad has not completed the DV programme yet, so his risk to your children is likely to be assessed as high as it was back in October. This is likely to affect the decision around his involvement in the birth as children services will have to treat him as high risk (even if he is not) as they do not know any different.
The best way forward would be for dad to do the DV programme. Hopefully, he will find time to do so before the birth. You say dad is not having any contact with his son. Has he asked to be assessed for contact?
I can understand why you are very stressed about what will happen at the birth and who will be there to support you. The
core group meeting which includes yourself, the midwife and social worker will be involved in making plans for what will happen around the birth. Safety of you and your baby will be paramount. As your partner is seen as dangerous, this may limit some of the options. Ask the midwife and social worker what your options could be.
If a hospital birth is planned, security can often be put in place if a parent has a history of domestic violence. However, I am not sure how this will impact a home birth. Check what the midwife is thinking about this. An independent domestic violence advocate could support you around this issue. Do you have any family or friends who could support you during labour? I also suggest you contact Birthrights 0300 400 3400 for advice.
Here are some FAQ’s about domestic violence and child protection.

I hope my advice helps. If you need further advice, please post again or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.
Kind regards,
Suzie

[Heg1234]

Hello, thanks for your reply
In regards to dad the assigned social worker doesn’t seem to be accommodating dad around his working hours. He works Monday - Saturday 7:30 - 5:30 with the exception of sometimes finishing earlier on a Saturday and has Sundays off however the social working twice now has called to start the assessment before half 5 even though she knows he will still be in work and then by the time half 5 comes around her phone is off for the day. I don’t think it’s very fair for dad to feel as though he has to leave his job in order to get this resolved,
Do you have any advice on what should happen in situations like this?

[Heg1234]

Dear Heg1234,
Welcome back to the Parent’s Forum. My name is Suzie, FRG’s online adviser.
Congratulations on your pregnancy.
I can see that your 2 year old is on child protection plan due to the domestic violence you suffered and that dad has not seen his son since October 2020. You must be commended for fully cooperated with children services and for doing the domestic violence courses which will help you protect your children from domestic violence, going forward.
Unfortunately, dad has not completed the DV programme yet, so his risk to your children is likely to be assessed as high as it was back in October. This is likely to affect the decision around his involvement in the birth as children services will have to treat him as high risk (even if he is not) as they do not know any different.
The best way forward would be for dad to do the DV programme. Hopefully, he will find time to do so before the birth. You say dad is not having any contact with his son. Has he asked to be assessed for contact?
I can understand why you are very stressed about what will happen at the birth and who will be there to support you. The
core group meeting which includes yourself, the midwife and social worker will be involved in making plans for what will happen around the birth. Safety of you and your baby will be paramount. As your partner is seen as dangerous, this may limit some of the options. Ask the midwife and social worker what your options could be.
If a hospital birth is planned, security can often be put in place if a parent has a history of domestic violence. However, I am not sure how this will impact a home birth. Check what the midwife is thinking about this. An independent domestic violence advocate could support you around this issue. Do you have any family or friends who could support you during labour? I also suggest you contact Birthrights 0300 400 3400 for advice.
Here are some FAQ’s about domestic violence and child protection.

I hope my advice helps. If you need further advice, please post again or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.
Kind regards,
Suzie

Hello, thanks for your reply
In regards to dad the assigned social worker doesn’t seem to be accommodating dad around his working hours. He works Monday - Saturday 7:30 - 5:30 with the exception of sometimes finishing earlier on a Saturday and has Sundays off however the social working twice now has called to start the assessment before half 5 even though she knows he will still be in work and then by the time half 5 comes around her phone is off for the day. I don’t think it’s very fair for dad to feel as though he has to leave his job in order to get this resolved,
Do you have any advice on what should happen in situations like this?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Heg1234

Thank you for your further post. I can see that you have concerns about your child’s father being able to take part in the assessment being done by the social work due to his work commitments.

It is really important that your child’s father discuss with the social worker a fixed time that she can meet with him and, then, he can arrange the time off with his employers. I do not think it would be necessary for him to leave his job but it is likely that he can get time off. He could give the social worker a few different dates and see how this works out.

You and your child’s father may find it helpful to read the information on our website about working with social workers. I have included the link below for your information.
https://frg.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2 ... ercopy.pdf

I hope you will find this helpful, but if you wish to speak to an adviser, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays)

Best wishes

Suzie

[EDY92]

I was pregnant at the time social services became involved with me (my partner , now ex was arrested for IIOC)

I was told by social services he couldn’t be at the birth, unless it was supervised by his family member who was supervising the contact. With covid , I wasn’t allowed two birthing partners and I wasn’t comfortable with that relative of his being there when I’ve had traumatic births in the past.

There’s no law for social services to dictate who is with you during labour, the issue is they threaten you with consequences. I was told, if you let him be there your children will be placed on a child protection order etc. Bearing in mind, I’m a teacher, have done EVERYTHING they’ve told me to and they just make **** up as they go a long.

It honestly baffles me how they can literally lie and make stuff up.

I’ve managed to prove the lies social workers have said about me and they are no longer involved. I had to birth alone tho, and even tho I did everything they said. The midwives all knew social services had been involved , even tho it wasn’t me , I felt very judged and embrassed to be quiet honest!!

Good luck , I truly hope you get a different outcome to me x