Child Conference Report- Nothing but twisted words and malicious accusations.

[LP9801]

Hi,

So long story short, I have 3 children (2 with 1 father and one with another),

I was a victim of domestic violence 6 years ago, he was taken to court by CPS but no charge was given. SS were never involved.

I was then a victim of domestic violence again to my ex partner (father to my youngest). My children were witness and so SS became involved and put me and my children on a child in need plan. My children were assessed by s***** and it was fine and I was told to attend the freedom project but at my assessment the woman told me that I am aware enough of domestic violence and said I did not need any help from them. At the time my ex had no contact with me or any of my children... the case was closed and at the final meeting I asked ‘What should I do if my ex wants to see his child?’, the response was ‘That’s up to you’.

6 months after the case closed (and a year after the incident), my ex’s family got in contact as they wanted to build a relationship with his daughter. We did supervised visits and built the relationship gradually until the point where I allowed my daughter to spend the night at her grandparents (his parents house). We were co-parenting and he was/still is receiving private therapy for alcoholism and anger management. Everything was very civil and he appeared to be doing well (stayed clean and focused the other time) and hr even helped me out by picking up my children from school two/three times as I was on a course for work.

Over the Christmas period we both ended up out with a mutual group of friends, and he had a few drinks... towards the end of the night as everyone was leaving we ended up arguing over where our daughter was
spending NYE and he pushed me over and I hit my head.... needless to say SS are now back involved!

I have denied access to him over his daughter now and informed him that if he wishes to see his daughter- he can now take it to court.

It’s going to a child protection conference on Tuesday as social services believe my children ‘ARE AT RISK OF SIGNIFICANT HARM’! Let me clarify my children are unaware of this situation and were actually at their fathers address when this happened!

Anyway, I received the report Friday and it is honestly a joke, I doubt it would even be admissible in court (wrong names all over the place, ex referred to as ‘Ms’... children’s father even the alleged attacker at one point, wrong dates and everything. But the other thing is that when she’s asked me questions and I’ve answered she’s put something completely different to what I told her! She also explained that she tried to contact me after the incident but they couldn’t get hold of me (I spent a week at my fathers address- he even said he would confirm validate it- proof of it but she didn’t acknowledge it) and has now stated she believes I was with my ex. The whole entire report has been misquoted, there are bloated lies and shes hypothesised through the entire thing! She hasn’t mentioned anything about my ex attending therapy- a very crucial point! School and other health professionals have no concerns and my children have been very happy and she’s raised no concerns in her visits to them.

I attempted to contact her Friday but apparently she is now ‘Out of office’ until Tuesday... I called SS and no one seemed interested in what I was saying and the relevant people were in meetings!

This is an absolute disgrace and I have not read any be single positive comment about these people and there seems to be no policing authority from them (or if there is then it’s amongst themselves). I spoke to a solicitor about attending the meeting with me who advised me not to as apparently social workers don’t like it!

Surely this is not right! This report is not factual! It does not raise extremely relevant or key points and misquotes everything I have said to her!!!! I’m at my wits end!!!

My children are fine, happy, safe, loved and have more than the basic requirements! I parent to the very best of my ability, they are well educated etc! I have advised my ex that to see his child he needs to seek legal advice- WHICH HE AGREED TO!!! He’s back at therapy every week! So I’ve ensure my children are safe!

What more can I do?! The report portrays me to be ignorant and an untrustworthy mother... but I’m the complete opposite! I’ve followed the ‘rules’ to a ‘T’ and only put my children first!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE can someone help or share some advise on this before I lose the will to live! Getting to the point of wanting to get my kids and get on a plane! These people are malicious and vindictive people who o wouldn’t trust ever!
***edited by Suzie to preserve confidentialilty.

[LEP]

I can completely emphasise with you having had SS involvement recently following a discussion with my midwife about a solitary incident that has been completely misrepresented. Have you had a chance to formally put your perspective across yet?

I have taken (paid for) legal advice about how SS have dealt with us and the factual inaccuracies and all I am told is to work with SS, there isn't anything you can do as SS have to address their perceived risks. As I say, risks based on reports we don't agree with and are written to make the situation out to be horrendous. They have lied in their reports and made my partner out to be an ogre based purely on the midwife report following a single incident. We have put forward our perspectives but were then made out to be obstructive because we did not agree with their report and outcomes. For example my partner took the dog for a walk and SS turned up, they reported that he was avoiding them.

I wish I could be more positive for you, but we are now under a child protection plan for a newborn and having to jump through hurdles to try and get it signed off ASAP AND focus on our newborn. We have contemplated complaints but we are learning SS are beyond reproach. I completely share your view and experience, of I find any way to communicate with them that works I'll happily share it.

I hope you find a resolution.