Historic DV

[Blinkblueeyes]

Hi there,

I’m hoping someone can help me out, my partner has been in a previous relationship that wasn’t the best and there was 1 incidence of violence - which was reported to the police, he has been open and honest from the start about it with me and we chose to carry on and see how things go..
Nearly a year later his ex has reported me to SS for “living” with him, which by the way we are not!! This has resulted in a visit from SS today - when she left she said that she has no issues around our relationship or and worries from the children when she spoke to them. She said that in the previous relationship it was early stages and it’s a positive that none of these were showing now. There has been no incidents with me and my partner absolutely nothing until his ex has done this. The outcome is now that he’s not allowed around my children until this investigation is finished what is the likelihood it will result in a CIN?

Many thanks

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Blinkblueeyes,

Welcome to the Parent’s Forum. My name is Suzie Family Rights Group’s online adviser.

I can see that children services are carrying out an assessment of your family after your partner’s exe made a referral to them. Your partner has been honest with you about the incident of domestic violence and the social worker has been very positive about your relationship and says she has no worries about your children. However, she has asked that while the assessment is ongoing, she does not want your partner to have any contact with your children.
The assessment will last up to 9 weeks and this may involve monitoring how things are in your home as well as asking other professionals such as the school, health, and the police for information. Here is information about the assessments.


The social workers position is to be expected. She does not know enough about your partner and would not want your children to be placed at potential risk of witnessing domestic violence until she has completed the assessment. By then, she should know more about your partner and your ability to protect your children against his risk, if this was needed.
It is positive that your partner was honest about the domestic violence incident. Did he do a perpetrator’s programme? If not, the social worker may expect him to do so. He could contact Respect.uk about what he could do to reduce his risk of being violent to you.

I also advise you also look at Women’s Aid or Refuge’s website for advice and support. These websites outline different forms of abuse. You could check that there is no other type of abuse happening in your relationship. Did the social worker give you any local dv contact numbers? If so, it is also worth getting in touch with them and talking over what is happening and what other local support might be available.

Your question is whether there might be a child in need plan?
The different outcomes of an assessment are:
• Case closed;
• Early help offered to you (such as DV courses for you both to complete);
• Child in need plan -where children services remain involved with your consent;
• Child protection enquires If the social worker suspected that your children were at risk of experiencing dv (so suffering significant harm) there might be child protection enquires leading to a child protection case conference.

It is not possible for me to predict the outcome. It does look more positive because both you and your partner appear to be open and honest about the situation. You are also cooperating with the assessment. carry on doing so.The social worker also needs to know she can trust you to seek help from her if you needed it. So, for example, if your partner was to turn up at your home when the children are present, you need to let her know this. Please also see our FAQ’s about dv .

I have only given an outline but I hope my advice helps. If you have any questions please post again or call our confidential and free advice line on 0808 801 0366.
Best wishes,
Suzie

[Blinkblueeyes]

They have completed the assessment although I am not too happy with how the entire case has been handled and will now be going to seek legal advice from a solicitor.
The entire assessment they haven’t spoken to him & still haven’t and also accused me of some unpleasant things with my children

The end of the assessment they suggested a CiN - so my partner can do the courses they want him to do bear in mind he has already completed courses - I have refused this due to me studying a degree at uni and this will effect my placements as SS have said they’re calling LADO!

So as I refused CiN they have closed the case with early help and conditions that he is not allowed in contact with my children.
Although if not on CiN he can’t access the course!!
Can I refuse early help?

Also may I add he has been assessed previously after the incident to have contact with his own children and there are no limitations this and he sees them regularly.
Nothing seems to fit. I can see his children and so can he. We can both be around his children but mine can’t be, I can have both sets of children and then he can’t be there??

[ls01]

Can I ask, what did the assessment involve for you? How often did you hear from the SW? I'm in a similar position, I had a first visit last Monday, where the duty sw spoke to just one of my children ( I have 4) she later rang to say once my actual sw had been assigned, they will speak to the other 3. I've yet to hear anymore. The not knowing is causing undue anxiety
I am also in a position like you, in that I am currently studying at Uni ( to be a sw of all things) and not sure where I now stand with that
Any advice would be much appreciated.

[Blinkblueeyes]

Snap that’s what I’m studying too & im going into my final year!
I had the duty SW come out and then another one come out both only visited once!
And if I am honest both of them have been oppressive, judgement, lie and tell half truths....
I’ve always heard stories of believed them not to be true but now I am experiencing it first hand and it’s not nice honestly I’ve called a solicitor

It would be nice to talk more to you

[ls01]

Thank you for your reply.

What a nightmare situation! I'm living in fear daily, dreading the knock on the door.. I've read many stories this last couple of weeks that only fuel that fear. It is making me really consider my career goals

The duty sw that visited appeared very understanding but who knows what she's scribbling in her pad! However, I did record the meeting for peace of mind. It's just horrendous knowing they are going to probe the children and what stress that may cause them.

I really hope the solicitor helps you to get the outcome your hoping for. Pm me at anytime.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Thank you for your reply.

What a nightmare situation! I'm living in fear daily, dreading the knock on the door.. I've read many stories this last couple of weeks that only fuel that fear. It is making me really consider my career goals

The duty sw that visited appeared very understanding but who knows what she's scribbling in her pad! However, I did record the meeting for peace of mind. It's just horrendous knowing they are going to probe the children and what stress that may cause them.

I really hope the solicitor helps you to get the outcome your hoping for. Pm me at anytime.

Dear ls01

Just to let you know that I have posted a response incorporating all 3 of your posts today.

Best wishes

Suzie