All 4 of my children were taken away from me 6 years ago and had SGOs. I have stayed in touch with my eldest who is now an adult but don’t have contact with the younger 3 due to their guardians all stopping it. I had a baby 2 months ago who was placed straight into foster care because social services said I had hidden my pregnancy (I told them at 8 months) and they needed time to do a 12 weeks assessment. My baby’s father is also my 4th child’s father who was very violent and has no contact with either child. Social have said I must find my own home away from him and jump through all kinds of hoops. I’m currently living with my daughter but they’ve said I have to move again as she is on a tag for violent behaviour. I see my baby twice a week. My problem is they tell
Me nothing. It’s been over 12 weeks and I don’t no what’s happening with the assessment. They did ask my brother who has son 4, to do sibling contact with the baby as they are full siblings but he has refused as he says it will bring me back into sons life and he won’t do that. Will that look badly on me and ruin my chances of getting baby back? I’ve attended every contact with baby. Does the fact they are pushing for sibling contact mean I am getting baby back? I just have no idea what’s happening? Is there a procedure set out I could look at to see where I’m at. Finally, will my relationship or lack of it with my other children be looked at? All guardians eventually stopped contact because I was not turning up but this was years ago
Help, I don’t know what’s happening
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Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4234
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Help, I don’t know what’s happening
Dear Addy2010
Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your posts. I am sorry to hear of the difficulties you and your family are having. Please accept my apologies for the delay in responding to your posts. I will reply to all your posts here.
First of all congratulations on the birth of your baby, although I know that the circumstances are very difficult. Children’s services are concerned that you ‘concealed’ your pregnancy because you didn’t let the professionals know until very late in the pregnancy. This makes them worried about your ability to care for yourself and the baby before they were born. It also meant that there was not enough time to do a pre-birth assessment and so the baby was placed in foster care soon after birth. You don’t mention care proceedings but I think that the baby must be under an interim care order. I hope that you have a specialist children law accredited solicitor representing you .
It is good that you are having regular contact with your baby, keep this up.
It is worrying that you feel that you are not being kept properly informed and are very unclear about the assessment process.
It is very important that you ask:
• Your solicitor to explain what directions the court has made for your assessment. And to agree how they will keep you updated and prepared during the court case.
• The social worker to keep you informed about the different Looked After Child plans and meetings that will be happening for your baby.
• There will also now be an Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) who will review the plans for the baby.
Here is a guide to care proceedings and a guide to children being cared for under a care order to help you make sense of what the court and children’s services are doing.
Children’s services are legally required to explore with family members whether they can care for a child in care, if their parent is unable to. So that is why the social worker asked your brother to consider being assessed as a carer for the new baby. Your brother has said that he cannot do this.
Your brother is also unwilling, at the moment, to promote contact between your son and the new baby. It is part of the social worker’s role to promote sibling relationships when a child is in foster care. – this is because a child in care has a right to know their siblings, where safe. However, your brother is a Special Guardian and so can legally make decisions for your son including around contact with his new sibling. At the moment, he is not willing to support this. The social worker cannot compel him to. Here is some information about sibling contact. The fact that the social worker is trying to establish contact between the siblings is not an indicator of what the outcome of the court case will be.
I am sorry that you have lost contact with your older children over the years although you are currently living with your adult daughter. The court will focus on your baby’s welfare and your ability to meet your baby’s needs. Keep working with the professionals and cooperate with assessments and services as part of this.
Have you been offered a family group conference (FGC) at all ? Even if your network is disrupted it can still be a good idea to explore what support can be offered to you/your baby.
You could ask your solicitor to refer you for housing advice from a housing solicitor as you need to move out from your daughter’s home. Or contact Shelter for advice. And it is still a good idea for you to access domestic violence support from any of the following domestic abuse services .
I hope this helps a little. If you would like to discuss your situation with an adviser, please call the freephone helpline on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.
Best wishes
Suze
Welcome back to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your posts. I am sorry to hear of the difficulties you and your family are having. Please accept my apologies for the delay in responding to your posts. I will reply to all your posts here.
First of all congratulations on the birth of your baby, although I know that the circumstances are very difficult. Children’s services are concerned that you ‘concealed’ your pregnancy because you didn’t let the professionals know until very late in the pregnancy. This makes them worried about your ability to care for yourself and the baby before they were born. It also meant that there was not enough time to do a pre-birth assessment and so the baby was placed in foster care soon after birth. You don’t mention care proceedings but I think that the baby must be under an interim care order. I hope that you have a specialist children law accredited solicitor representing you .
It is good that you are having regular contact with your baby, keep this up.
It is worrying that you feel that you are not being kept properly informed and are very unclear about the assessment process.
It is very important that you ask:
• Your solicitor to explain what directions the court has made for your assessment. And to agree how they will keep you updated and prepared during the court case.
• The social worker to keep you informed about the different Looked After Child plans and meetings that will be happening for your baby.
• There will also now be an Independent Reviewing Officer (IRO) who will review the plans for the baby.
Here is a guide to care proceedings and a guide to children being cared for under a care order to help you make sense of what the court and children’s services are doing.
Children’s services are legally required to explore with family members whether they can care for a child in care, if their parent is unable to. So that is why the social worker asked your brother to consider being assessed as a carer for the new baby. Your brother has said that he cannot do this.
Your brother is also unwilling, at the moment, to promote contact between your son and the new baby. It is part of the social worker’s role to promote sibling relationships when a child is in foster care. – this is because a child in care has a right to know their siblings, where safe. However, your brother is a Special Guardian and so can legally make decisions for your son including around contact with his new sibling. At the moment, he is not willing to support this. The social worker cannot compel him to. Here is some information about sibling contact. The fact that the social worker is trying to establish contact between the siblings is not an indicator of what the outcome of the court case will be.
I am sorry that you have lost contact with your older children over the years although you are currently living with your adult daughter. The court will focus on your baby’s welfare and your ability to meet your baby’s needs. Keep working with the professionals and cooperate with assessments and services as part of this.
Have you been offered a family group conference (FGC) at all ? Even if your network is disrupted it can still be a good idea to explore what support can be offered to you/your baby.
You could ask your solicitor to refer you for housing advice from a housing solicitor as you need to move out from your daughter’s home. Or contact Shelter for advice. And it is still a good idea for you to access domestic violence support from any of the following domestic abuse services .
I hope this helps a little. If you would like to discuss your situation with an adviser, please call the freephone helpline on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.
Best wishes
Suze
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