Unable to see grandaughter

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ALTO1970
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2021 8:00 pm

Unable to see grandaughter

Post by ALTO1970 » Tue Jul 27, 2021 1:25 pm

Hi I wonder if you can offer some advice please.
Last week my sons and their father had a visit from the police who explained that some indecent images of children had been downloaded onto a website from their address and that all media devices are to be taken for forensics.
The police also asked if any of my sons have children and weather they stay at the house . My youngest son as a daughter who he shares care with his ex girlfriend . So the police explained that they would have to let mum of his daughter know about the incident.
Also my youngest son was not at the property when the pictures were downloaded as he was with his ex girlfriend and daughter that time and date. So he has had confirmation of this from his ex Girlfriend. The ex girlfriend has now been appointed a social worker and has been assessed by social services and they have no problem with her at all. The exgirlfriend has told my son that he can no longer see his daughter and this is what the social worker told her to say . I asked if I could see my grandaughter at my house as normal as I usually provide her childcare and she really enjoys coming here and we have a strong attachment . I also asked if my son could see his daughter while she is at house and the answer was no. Should my son be assessed by social services to see how he is with his daughter or should we just wait and see what happens? I feel that my son is being punished for something he hasn't done and that my grandaughter is missing out.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3110
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Unable to see grandaughter

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Aug 06, 2021 3:26 pm

Dear ALTO1970,

Welcome to the parents’ board and thank you for your post.

You say in your post that police recently visited your sons and their father at their address, from which indecent images of children had been downloaded. All media devices were taken for forensic examination.

Your youngest son has a daughter, who he shares custody of with his ex-girlfriend. A referral was made to children’s services due to the alleged offence. Your youngest son denies being at the property at the time that the images were downloaded. Your granddaughter has been allocated a social worker, and your son’s ex-girlfriend has now stopped all contact, which she says is on the advice of the social worker.
You say that you usually look after your granddaughter at your house. You have asked if your son can see his daughter whilst she is at your house, and have been informed that this cannot happen. You would like to know if children’s services should be assessing your son or if you should wait and see what happens.

Firstly, it sounds as though your son was arrested and released under investigation – if this is the case, do you know if he is under any bail conditions which prevent contact with his daughter?

Secondly, children’s services have now opened a children and families assessment following your son’s arrest. This means that over the next 45 days, they will assess your granddaughter’s situation, including strengths and risks, and will make a recommendation as to whether they need to continue to be involved. You can read more about what to expect from an assessment, and possible outcomes, here. As part of this assessment, the social worker should speak to your son.

As your son has recently been arrested, the social worker will be concerned about any risk that he may pose to your granddaughter. As the investigation is new, there are a lot of unknowns. To address this, the social worker has asked your granddaughter’s mother to prevent any contact with your son. It is understandable that your son wants to see his daughter, but contact must always be in the best interests of the child. I would advise that your son contact the social worker and formally request that he is risk-assessed for contact. It is likely that any contact, initially, will be supervised. He may want to put you forward as a potential supervisor, however the social worker may ask that this happen in a contact centre.

Regarding you having contact with your granddaughter, I am unclear as to whether you live in the same house as your son. If your son lives in your home, the social worker may be concerned about him having contact in this way. It may be helpful therefore to speak to the social worker about how you can have contact with your granddaughter in the safest way, and to work together to develop a safety plan – for example, that your son will not be in the home when your granddaughter is there.

You may find it helpful to speak to the Lucy Faithfull foundation, who support family members of those who have offended online on 0808 1000 900. They also offer services for those in your son’s position.

I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

ALTO1970
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Jul 26, 2021 8:00 pm

Re: Unable to see grandaughter

Post by ALTO1970 » Mon Aug 09, 2021 9:10 pm

Hi suzie
Thank you for your advice . You asked if my son has been arrested and has bail conditions . He wasn't arrested but had his phone and desktop taken away for forensics.
The officers told my son that images had been downloaded at a certain time of day and my son told the officers that at that time and date he was visiting his Daughter and ex girlfriend ( his ex girlfriend confirmed this to be true)
My son has tried to speak with the social worker involved with his Daughter and has left messages on her mobile phone but she as not returned any of his calls.
My Sons ex girlfriend has since contacted me and said that my son can now see his daughter but only when visiting my house ( he lives with his father at another address) and with my supervision . I find this astounding as Social services have not been intouch with me regarding this or spoke to my son.
His ex girlfriend said social services where happy for me to see my grandaughter and I've seen her over the weekend.
But surely I should have been contacted by my grandaughters social worker ?
I'm unclear about the whole situation
Any advice would be much appreciated
Kind regards

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3110
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Unable to see grandaughter

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Aug 17, 2021 7:13 am

Dear ALTO1970,

Thank you for your response.

Unfortunately I am unable to advise on the criminal aspect of your son's situation - does he have a criminal solicitor he can speak to about the investigation?

You sat that your son has tried to make contact with the children's social worker and that she has not returned any of his calls. This must be frustrating for your son and the social worker should be communicating and working with him. He may find it helpful to call the main children's social care MASH number and to ask for the team manager's contact details or to speak to the social worker on duty. If the poor communication continues, he may want to consider making a formal complaint.

Your granddaughter's mother has now informed you that your son is able to have contact with your granddaughter at your home under your supervision. You are unsure about what is going on as the social worker has not contacted you and has previously asked that contact does not happen. The social worker may have decided that you are an appropriate contact supervisor, however, normally this decision would be made after the social worker has met and assessed you. It is also important that you are clear on what the contact agreements are - when will contact happen, who will arrange this, and what should you do if you have any concerns? These are all things that should be discussed and formalised in a contact safety plan. I therefore advise that you speak to your daughter's girlfriend and inform her that you would like to speak directly to the social worker about this. You can contact the social worker directly and request a meeting.

It is great that you have now spent some time with your granddaughter, and if you want to discuss this with the social worker as well, that is fine.

I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

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