My child is not in my care.. fighting for my baby back

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Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Jul 23, 2020 3:44 pm

My child is not in my care.. fighting for my baby back

Post by BubA » Tue Aug 04, 2020 9:14 pm


So I am new here and have wanting to post on here for a while but have never had the courage until now.

So my baby was 2/3 months when he was taking off me, for something we did not do or have any aware of (sorry not sure if I'm allowed saying), which we did not do, and have no clue on how ribs fractures have happened, our baby had shown no distress, we had taken him to doctors many occasions for bruising easily on his face where he would of hit himself which people had seen him do like family, e also had taken our baby due to bleeding gums. We are so upset as we are very loving and caring, protective parents and as we are the first time we are so careful as he is our precious baby

We have been through 2 lots of court hearing and we still haven't felt like our voices are being heard and are dealing with a lot of distress of what we are going through.

First of all, the rest of the family were being assessed apart from myself and my partner, however, we were told because of both side of family members are involved in the 'pool of perpetrators', we have been struggling as a whole, and myself and my partner were told we weren't allowed to have parenting assessments until things were starting to be a bit more clearer, and because of the rest of both sides of our family being in the 'pool of perpetrators' they had put their assessment on hold.

Now we are in a situation where all the reports we have been given e.g. medical have been somewhat incorrect/ false information/ a lot of confusion with dates and how many fractures, so things still do not make sense, however, because our visits are going so well and they have no concerns on our parenting, so the court has allowed us to start a plan for the parenting assessment. I and my partner have been trying to do a lot of research to help us as throughout this whole situation as we have been put straight in the deep end (we have never been in this situation and bare in mind we are first-time parents and never thought this would happen to us in a million years), we have been so distressed with everything it has been really hard, however, we have been really strong for our baby. We have no idea what they will ask us apart from eg. how we would change our child and what did we do on a daily basis, other than that research hasn't really helped and we are struggling to be prepared for going through this stage.

We haven't had the greatest of luck with any SW as they are 'busy' we have had 1 conversation throughout the time our baby has been 'in the child of care' we don't get told when visits are, only get told by the Foster Career ( we all call her nanny).

We want our baby home so bad, we feel like things are dragging, and does anyone have any idea on how long these things usually take with rib fractures being the main concern as we are so confused as it is and we are trying to get through each day as it comes. Does anyone have any advice or anything they need to clear with me to give me advice?

There is so much more for me to say, however, as I am new to this I feel like I cant say most of what I do need to say

Thank you if you can help

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: My child is not in my care.. fighting for my baby back

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Aug 10, 2020 1:20 pm

Dear Buba

Welcome to Family Rights Group’s parents discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie, FRG’s online adviser. I am sorry to hear of the difficulties that you and your family are experiencing.

You are a first time parent and are currently involved in care proceedings in relation to your baby son which you are understandably very distressed about. Your baby is in foster care, I think under an interim care order, as he suffered some rib fractures in his first few months. You and your partner don’t know how they happened and have described some earlier concerns which you took medical advice on. As your son’s injuries are being considered by medical experts and the court and you have noted some discrepancies in the reports the best people for you and your partners to discuss these issues with and get specific advice from are your solicitors and/or barristers.

Family members are also in the pool of possible perpetrators which also makes the situation more complicated. However, have any viability assessments been undertaken to identify who will be suitable for fuller assessment? Do also discuss this with your solicitors as it is crucial that there is no unnecessary delay in assessing family members who may be able to support you to care for your baby or who could care for your baby if you cannot.

Has a date been set for a finding of fact hearing? Do check this out with your solicitor.

Here are some links to information about these type of cases that you may find helpful.

child protection resource online: non accidental injury - this provides a useful explanation about finding of fact hearings and the ‘pool of possible perpetrators’ and
child protection resource online: the social worker tells me my child has been hurt.

Your main query is about the parenting assessment that will be taking place. As this is a court-directed assessment your solicitor and the social worker should be able to tell you who will be doing it, how it will be undertaken and what they will be expected to cover. The assessor is likely to follow a particular template when doing the assessment. There is a general model which shows the different domains that the social worker will consider when assessing and a brief explanation of them in this document. There is a discussion around parenting and parenting assessments here.

Do you know if you are having a parenting assessment together as a couple or individually to help the court decide if you are able to care for your baby. The most important thing (which I think you are already doing) is to work openly and cooperatively, think about your baby’s needs and how you can meet them and be willing to seek support/services and address any concerns as they arise. The parenting assessment should identify what help you need and your capacity to respond to his needs.

You ask how long this whole court process will take. The usual timescale for care proceedings is 26 weeks but your son’s case includes complex medical evidence and you are going through all of this during the pandemic which is impacting on court timetables too. Best thing is to clarify the court timetable with your solicitor.

It sounds as if you have a good relationship and are able to work well with your baby’s foster carer and that she liaises closely with you. This is really positive and shows that you are able to work with a carer to support your baby. It is very good to hear that the time you have with your baby is going really well and that this is recognised.

I am sorry to hear that the communication from your social worker has been so minimal though. They are your baby’s key worker so are your first point of contact in relation to your son. They are responsible for your baby’s care plan with an Independent Reviewing Officer to review it. This is a busy time for social workers who are having to adapt their work to the current pandemic but if you need to speak with them they should be able to get back to you. Have a look at our advice sheet on duties on children’s services when children are in the care system which explains the processes in more detail.

If you are a young parent you might find this specialist section of our website most useful. There is a specific section on care proceedings which is the most relevant.

I hope this helps a little.

If you have a new query please do post again or if you would prefer to speak with an adviser please call our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.

With best wishes


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