I need advice please

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Joined: Wed Jun 12, 2019 10:54 am
Location: Uk

I need advice please

Post by Radish » Tue Jun 25, 2019 12:15 pm

Hi I have recently been convicted of attempting to arrange a meet with a child for sex. The basis of this is two years ago I had two on line conversations with who I believed to be adult females about sex with younger, I know that's wrong but I was in a very dark place in my life drinking to excess and basically on a road of self destruction. I never viewed or downloaded IIOC and for me it was purely fantasy. I'm married and have two grown up daughters and a 7 year old daughter and they all mean the world to me. I've not been allowed by social services to be in my home when my youngest daughter is at home and only get to really see her twice a week, she has extra needs so going out depends on how she is. My wife is supportive as she saw how I was (self destruction not chatting) and tried to help me at the time but I kept going in my downward spiral. Following my arrest I attempted to take my life and following this I was diagnosed with PTSD (I'm not military)
As it happened the two females I had been chatting with were under cover officers!
I was sentenced yesterday to 18 months suspended for 2 years and 10 years on the register, the help and advice I need is how do we take social services, I maintain that for me it was fantasy I never wanted anything for real but they keep digging their heels in, I thought it was the courts of this land that punished and social services were there to help?
I would be grateful for any advice given, I have shortened my story but the relevant points are there.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: I need advice please

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Jul 26, 2019 1:34 pm

Dear Radish,

Welcome to the Parents Forum.

I can see that you have had to move out of the family home due to concerns that you might be a sexual risk to your 7 year old daughter. You have contact twice a week with her. You have now been convicted of an online grooming offence. You say at the time you were in a dark place which was related to trauma you suffered in the past. You have now been diagnosed with PTSD. Are you accessing support to help you overcome this illness? Your GP or the person who diagnosed you could signpost you for support. If this illness caused your behaviour, if you can get treatment, it may reduce the risk you pose to children.

The Just Stop It Now! helpline offers advice about specialist assessments that you may need to identify whether you are risky to your daughter and what support is available to help you reduce any risk you pose to children. I would call them for advice.
Unlock have a lot of advice for people who have criminal convictions.

Children services should have been notified of your conviction. Are they still involved with your family? If not, you should contact children services and ask for an assessment. Let them know what you and mum wish to happen. What do you need to do-support and courses to help move towards your plans?
Here is information about assessments.

If you have any questions please post again.

Best wishes,

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