Dear Mrs Doibtfire
Welcome to Family Rights Group’s parents’ discussion board. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser. Thank you for your two posts which I will respond to together. I am sorry to hear of the difficulties your family is experiencing which is understandably causing you a great deal of stress.
Since you first posted, the police have completed their forensic investigation into whether there was a sexual image of a child on your family/work computer and they have found no evidence of that which I am sure is a relief.
However, the allegation of sexual assault which your daughter made (and which she now wishes to drop) remains a concern for children’s services and the police. Added to this, there is a further concern due to a discussion about the allegation between your daughter and her older brother. You have also been criticised for allowing this to happen although you explain that you weren’t there and had no prior knowledge about it. I guess they are worried that your daughter may be put or may feel under pressure to deny what she has previously said, in an Achieving Best Evidence (ABE) interview, has happened to her.
At the moment, children’s services have asked your daughter’s father, who is alleged to have sexually assaulted her (I know this is disputed), to agree to move out of the family home so that your daughter can remain in your care in the family home. This is putting the family under considerable financial pressure as well as emotional stress.
I am not clear what is happening in terms of the police investigation into the alleged sexual assault; I think this requires urgent clarification from the police but it is also worth asking the social worker to find out, as soon as possible.
If the police are no longer pursuing a criminal investigation, children’s services will still remain involved and, as the social worker suggests, there may now be an
initial child protection conference to determine if your daughter has suffered or is at risk of suffering
significant harm. They will expect that you will accept the possibility of risk .
You can find out more about the
child protection process , including how to prepare for a conference,
here and these materials about
sexual abuse may also be informative.
You may already know about
Parents Protect and
Stop it Now but if not, they are useful sources of information where there is a concern about alleged child sexual abuse. You could give their confidential helplines a ring to discuss your situation as a mother and a partner especially in terms of how you can demonstrate your protective ability, which has been criticised by the police.
Any plan for your daughter will need to consider whether it is safe or appropriate for her, if her father returns home or if her safety and welfare means that he should remain living elsewhere. I know this is a key issue for you. Many children on a child in need and some on a child protection plan live with the parent about whom there is concern but this will always be based on a risk assessment and the child’s welfare and safety. Again, if the criminal investigation is not continuing your partner should ask for a specific risk of sexual harm assessment to be carried out urgently. Children’s services need to provide you with some clarity about their expectations and how they would like you to manage the perceived risk. If your partner returned home without the agreement of children's services, they would be very concerned and would have to decide what action to take including seeking a court order to protect your child/ren. They should make clear to you what they would do if you no longer agreed.
You could check online on your local authority’s safeguarding children partnership website to see their protocol on cases of suspected child sexual abuse.
Have you considered asking for a
family group conference to involve your wider network in drawing up your own safety plan? If you think this might be helpful for you, you could ask the social worker to arrange this.
I hope this helps.
Please do post again if you have a query as the situation develops. Alternatively, you can ring our freephone advice service if you would like to speak to an adviser; the line (0808 8010366) is open from Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm.
With best wishes
Suzie
Hi, we got our computer back this week - absolutely no iioc on it at all. That's the good news. 
The bad news .... our daughter made sexual assault allegation against her dad, my partner of 18 years. Since her ABE in February she's told me that what she said in her statement wasn't completely true and basically no sexual assault took place. I mentioned this to the SW and police. They are not interested. Whatever was said in her ABE stands. So her dad now has a sexual allegation on his records. He's never been in trouble for anything like this. He has not been arrested or charged. Daughter does not want to take it any further and police have even said that it is her word against his.
