Special guardians

[Apple20]

Hello, I’m wondering if social workers can advise special guardians to name themselves “mum and dad” as the child has contact with the birth parents?
Surely as the child gets older this would cause confusion?
As the special guardians are actually the maternal aunt and uncle? Has anybody else experienced this?

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Apple20

Thank you for your question and welcome to the Board, please accept my apologies for the delay in responding.

Sometimes young children will call their carers mother or father, but this does not mean that another adult has told the carers or special guardian to ask the child to do this. Young children sometimes adopt the ways of the children they live with or other children they meet. Calling someone mum or dad may not confuse the child as she or he gets older because it is likely that they will maintain their contact with their biological parents and a carer or guardian may explain to the child that they are not their biological parent.

In your case may be a good idea for you to ask the aunt and uncle to explain in an age appropriate way, to the child, how they are related to them and to agree a timeframe for this.

It is not unreasonable for a parent to be uneasy about their child’s relationship with a special guardian or for the parent to share their concerns. For your information our advice sheet called Special Guardianship: what does it mean for birth parents? may be helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie