Child protection

[Always worried]

Ok so where to start.
My 13 year old daughter made allegations of sexual assault against my partner in December, she then withdrew said allegations just before Christmas. After the police closed their case, we had a child protection conference and my 4 children was placed on cp. It was decided that the social worker would complete a risk of sexual harm assessment then my partner could come home I will clarify I did end my relationship with my partner but when my daughter is telling me he didn't do it and insists daily it didn't happen and begged me not to leave him I believe he hasn't done it. There is a story behind her allegations me and her had a fight and I threatened to send her to live with her father, she is extremely violent to the other children there is more to it all.

Back to the problems arising the social worker can no longer do the assessment it was agreed it would be done by the 12th and the oh could come home on that day. They are now saying a independent place has to do it and it won't start till at least March, it gets more complicated we was told he can have supervised contact with all the children 1 of the children are not bio mine he is his son and he misses his dad, now she is telling us her manager is saying no contact even tho its in the cp plan?
The sw has told us to seek legal advice for him to return home cos she believes he isn't a risk and that it's harming the children him not being home.
Should he just come home and let them deal with it or not? The children can't wait till March to see their dad its really effecting them thanks sorry its all muddled

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Always worried,

Welcome to the parents' board and thank you for your post.

Your daughter disclosed in December that your partner had sexually assaulted her. She subsequently withdrew her disclosure and all 4 of your children were placed on a child protection plan. It was agreed that the social worker would complete a risk of sexual harm assessment before your partner could return home. You have now been told that the assessment will be conducted by someone independently and will not start until March, rather than in January. You also say that supervised contact between your partner and the children was agreed, and that the team manager has now said this is not allowed. You would like to know whether your partner should return home without the risk assessment having been completed.

The nature of the disclosure that your daughter made is a serious one and despite her withdrawing what she said, children's services are likely to be sufficiently concerned about your partner being in the home without a comprehensive risk assessment having been completed. It is unfortunate that the risk assessment has been delayed until March - have you spoken to the social worker about why this is? Was it agreed at the child protection conference that the assessment would be completed by an independent agency? It may be helpful to speak to the independent child protection chair about this and to discuss whether there are any alternative options for an assessment to be completed sooner?

Whilst children's services cannot stop your partner from returning to the home, if he does so against the conditions of the child protection plan, the social worker is likely to become concerned. Children's services may assess that you are not acting in an appropriately protective way and that you are not prioritising the safety of your children. This may lead them to taking further action, such as initiating pre-proceedings or initiating care proceedings immediately.

You say that your children would like to have contact with your partner. Any contact must be in the best interests of the child, and if it was agreed at the child protection conference that supervised contact can take place, children's services should be supporting you with this. Have you spoken to the social worker about why they are now not recommending contact and what safety measures can be put in place to address any concerns? If this was agreed at the child protection conference, you can also speak to the independent chair about this.
I hope you have found this helpful.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[Always worried]

Hi thankyou for replying.

The social worker claims her manager pulled her from completing the assessment as "she was to involved" which concerns me.

The contact with the children has happened now, his solicitor told us as its in the plan then to do it and he would tell the social services. They are happy with the contact now when asked why the contact couldn't happen they didn't have a reason?

My partner has sleep apnea and whilst he is living in his work van he can not use his cpap, I have many of times since all this began in December told them I would leave the house with the children so he can come home they keep telling me the children need stability and to stay here. Which is correct the children need stability their own home and beds but this situation is more complex than first looks.

My daughter has a habit of not always telling the truth she has told make believe about teachers, other children and is extremely violent to other children only last week she was excluded from a empty school for bullying another child online using her school email. I just want the truth of what happened, even now she tells me it didn't happen, I still ask her daily, I worry constantly. I will never trust my partner again.

Whilst I fully agree with the risk assessments and beg them to put my girl into therapy, to find out if this allegation she has made is true or false. They are more bothered about the assessment than putting anything in place to help her and more so to safe guard my other children. She has attempted to push my smallest child down the stairs because I told her no.

Me and my partner will not be living together once this is over, I am more bothered about our son (my step son) being able to live with his dad again and me and my own leaving.. I will not put my children at any risk whether that be from my partner or the social services.

[MrsDoibtfire]

Hi, our 12 year old made an allegation about her dad. Since then she has said that it wasn’t sexual assault, will not take any further with police and even wrote down what happened for the police and asked to take back her initial statement. Apparently that doesn’t mean anything and her ABE is what counts. So now her dad has an allegation permanently against his name.
I have been told by police & sw that because she spoke to me when she was upset, that is abuse on my part. I have now been accused of failing to protect my child because she decided to talk to her older brother (he’s adult with his own place). I never instigated a conversation and now have been told that we might be put on child protection nor child in need. We have no idea when dad can see our kids again - we have a 14 year old son too. Our boy has spent the grand total of less than an hour with his dad since February and that was 2 separate car trips on the way to a footy match. The separation is really damaging our kids but no one seems that bothered. And now we have to see if we need to find a new home because I can’t afford to pay for our home. It’s a total nightmare.