I feel robbed of my parental responsibility

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My voice
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2021 2:19 am

I feel robbed of my parental responsibility

Post by My voice » Sat Jun 19, 2021 1:50 pm

Hi everybody.. I am sobbing writing this post but I don't no were else to get advice.. I am a single mum with two amazing children.. Boy 10 my baby girl 3... I am absolutely soul destroyed.. I love my role as a mother its an honour to get a chance of even being a mother but I am getting stripped of my parental responsibility and I am not coping at all.. My sons father left wen he was 6 and it has affected my boy terribly... He took a screwdriver into school.. Age 6.. Got caught by the teacher and basically blamed me for it.. He told the school and SC tgta we had bin fighting.. Told them I was smacking... At the time my baby girl who was 9 weeks old.. Told them I was dragging him up and down the stairs.. I was broken hearted by his allegations.. We were put in a Foster placement so my parent capability could me assessed.. Any way... We arrived back home 6 months later... 3 possibly 4 months after being home.. He then aged 8... Made more allegations of violence towards me.. They were removed for 10 months my baby girl one week before her first bday.. They never believe me and ways take his word over mine and over any evidence.. Any way my situation now is soul destroying and I seriously do not want to live another day.. Again my son age 10 got caught in school being naughty. Before school I had told him he wasn't to go on his gaming pc as weed had a few issues the night before. He's gone mad in school and once again. Made more allegations against me including drugs and yet more physically abuse... I have lost my baby girl now 3 and him for good.. The sc have gone for a special guardianship and I am absolutely heart broken. The social. Services blame me for every think thy never belive me. They say his behaviour is bad coz of environment he is in. I have no partner for 8 years I don't drink don't do no think. My kids r my world and now they r gone bcaz they have believed him. I don't wana go on another day with this pain

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 3057
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: I feel robbed of my parental responsibility

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Jun 23, 2021 3:28 pm

Dear My Voice

Welcome to the parents’ discussion board and thank you for your post. My name is Suzie and I am FRG’s online adviser. I am very sorry to hear of the difficulties that your family are having and the distress that you are experiencing.

You are having a very tough time at the moment and are struggling. Do you have anyone you can talk to for support? You might want to talk to a friend, a family member, or a colleague. It can be very helpful to speak to a professional, such as your GP, about how you are feeling. You might want to consider calling the Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year; calls are free and they will listen and help you with how you are feeling. It is important that you take care of yourself and get support to help you cope with the difficulties you are facing.

I can see that your children are very precious to you and that you don’t agree with the plans that are being made or the reasons for them.

You will always be the children’s mother, even if they are not in your care.

Mothers Apart from their Children (MATCH) is a charity which helps and supports mothers who are apart from their children for whatever reason; their confidential helpline number is 0800 689 4104.

From what you say, I think that your children are being cared for, by someone else, possibly by a relative at the moment, and that children’s services are recommending a Special Guardianship Order (SGO) to allow a relative to care for the children in the longer-term. But I am not sure what stage this process is at, whether you are in care proceedings or if there is a private law application? If you have a solicitor, please do work closely with them so that they can represent your views, explain what is happening and the reasons for the decisions that are being made. If your children can’t live with you, your solicitor can help make sure you and your children are having good contact. If you don’t have a solicitor at the moment, it may be a good idea to contact one. Here are some tips on working with your solicitor.

You can also ring our freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 to talk to an adviser about the plans for the children and what you can do. The lines are open between 9.30am and 3.00pm from Monday to Friday and it is free to call.

Here is our specialist advice about Special Guardianship for parents. If a Special Guardianship Order is made, the special guardian will share parental responsibility with you, they should consult you on important decisions but can usually make the final decision.

You might find the section on decision-making and disagreements to be helpful as well as the section on contact. It is really important that you get advice about contact so that the best contact arrangements can be made, to support your relationship and how you spend time with the children, in line with what is in their best interests. The court will decide on contact even if the special guardian does not agree. Getting the right help and support for yourself will also be benefit your future relationship with your children.

If the children have been looked after, then your support needs in relation to special guardianship should be assessed by children’s services. I know you have had a difficult experience working with them but they have a duty to you as well as the children to consider your needs if an SGO is made. They can help with agreeing/managing contact or support you to access counselling, if you needed this help. Here are some tips on working with your social worker.

I hope that this information is useful.

With best wishes

Suzie

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