Custody court shock

[KPG88]

Hello
I'm not sure if this is the correct forum. My grandson is I believe in danger.

These are notes that cover some of the issues but they are not exhaustive, my son is in despair.

There appears to be a very strange and disturbing custody case. The woman involved is a polo player and is involved with fox hunting. The father is not involved with horses and is an engineer. Some of the Judges decisions, and comments, appear to defy logic. The father’s solicitor and barrister where in a state of shock and disbelieve after the last court hearing.

The judge appears to be ignoring or trying to overturn the following –
The CAFCAS section 7 report saying the child should live with the father and the mother should have access with helpers (i.e. not on her own), a psychiatric report saying the psychiatrist had worries about this woman looking after a child, a police rape report saying that the woman and her friends were liars (the rape allegation was thrown out by another different judge in the custody court), that the women has admitted domestic abuse against the father in front of the child, much evidence of the women abusing the child has been presented, evidence of the woman putting the child in physical danger has been presented, evidence from the child's nursery of the woman physically and psychologically abusing the child, evidence from the child minder of the same. The woman’s own mother reported her to social services. The woman’s own doctor reported her to social services. The woman has broken the court issued child safety order on a number of occasions, there is evidence to support this.

The Judge told off the father, quite abusively, for not doing a course that he had never been asked to do. No court order, nothing in the CAFCAS report says that the father should have done the course yet the judge is holding it against him for not doing it. In short, he has been told off severely and quite abusively by the judge for not doing something that he was never asked to do in the first place.

Putting the child in physical danger -
This woman has put the child in physical danger on a number of occasions (in a field with untrained horse, strapping him down in the back of her car with ratchet straps without a car seat and driving a considerable number of miles to a friend, jamming the child’s pushchair, with the child in it, behind a car seat and driving, and these are just some examples though there are more). The father presented evidence to the court of this, evidence confirmed by the woman herself via her own various social media posts.

Notes on the rape allegation-
The woman started to telephone the police alleging rape, this went on for a number of months each time she reported a new allegation and told the police not to take any action, two days before the custody case started, she told the police to activate the case, presumably this was so she could go into the court saying that the father was under investigation by the police. After a number of weeks, the father had not heard anything from the police and his solicitor advised him to contact the police, he did. He went in voluntarily and was interviewed by the police (a women detective chief inspector and a women detective sergeant) over 3-4 hours and they downloaded everything on his mobile telephone. It took a number of months after which the police issued a report, which went to the CPS and no action was taken, the report also went to the custody court the allegation was thrown out by another different judge in the custody court. In the report the police accuse the woman of lying, of being manipulative and of interfering with witnesses. Apparently one of her ‘witnesses’, an employee of the woman admitted to the police that she had been ‘forced’ into writing out her statement. Though this is not in the police report another woman told the father that the woman had tried to persuade/bully her into writing a statement but that she had refused. The police report also linked the woman, and three of the women who wrote statements, with another case that was almost identical except that in this case the man involved spent a number of days in police custody, this was done so that when the custody battle started, he was being investigated by the police. When the case went to the criminal court it was thrown out. I believe there is some circumstantial evidence that this same group of women have done this to another two men.

There is other documented evidence of violence, abuse, bullying and putting other people in danger by this woman including driving cars at people.

There is documented evidence of abuse of horses by this women, two pictures, one of a horse collapsed and in extreme distress and the other of a dead horse are quite disgusting yet she put these on social media and seemed quite pleased with them.

It pains me to think this but it seems that the present judge is either not reading the evidence and the various court files or is biased. I should add that the Cafcass have written two intermediary reports and a section 7 report all of which say the women should have limited access to the child and only with 'helpers. The psychiatric report was ordered by a judge in an earlier hearing.

My son is in a state of fear for his son and utter shock, he does not know what to do next.

[KPG88]

I have just realised something in my original post might not have been very clear-
"that the women has admitted domestic abuse against the father in front of the child"

I should probably have written this-
The women admitted domestically abusing the father in front of the child by punching him in the face during an argument, there were many incidents but this one she couldn't deny as she had admitted (boasted?) about it in a series of social media posts.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear KPG88,

Welcome to the parents’ board and thank you for your post. It appears from what you say that your grandson is currently subject to an ongoing court case and that you and your son have several concerns about his mother. I am sorry to hear this, and I just wanted to say that if you do have safeguarding concerns about a child, you should report these to your local children’s services department, or to an allocated social worker if there is one.

You do not mention in your post whether there is current involvement from children’s services. Can you please clarify this? As an organisation, we advise families who are currently known to children’s services. If this is not the case with your grandson and this is a private family law matter only, you may find it helpful to call Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480.

Best wishes,

Suzie.

[KPG88]

The actions of the mother have been reported to social services on many occasions both by my son and by the nursery, the childminder, the woman's own mother and her own doctor. Social services initially said that the father was overprotective, eventually a women from social services rang him and attacked him for putting his child in danger, she had completely missed what was going on, he managed to tell her that he was the complainant and that it was his ex partner who was responsible for putting the child in danger.

Eventually social services put my grandson at, what I believe is called level 4 when he is with his mother but reduced that when he is with his father. Unfortunately they rang the mother and told her that the level of risk had been downgraded (without explaining that this was because he was with his father) the mother then taunted the father that she could do what he wanted now. Social services have been a complete disaster in this case, for example the woman running the nursery where the child attends rang social services because the child would be brought to nursery by the mother inappropriately dressed, the mother would also both physically and physiologically abuse the child in front of the nursery staff. On one occasion when the mother turned up the child, at that time aged approximately three years old, ran back inside and clung the the nursery staff. The nursery principal, someone of many years experience of child care, she had been the deputy head of a primary school, was told that this was all because their was an overanxious father she replied 'I'm not the father'. The women who was the child minder on some days also rang the social services, she rang social services three times and could not get through to anyone, she left messages but no one rang back, eventually after weeks of trying to managed to speak to someone.

Social services eventually just advised the father to go to court which is what is happening now. The father has tried to get the records of contacts with social services three times but has not succeeded, even his solicitor has not succeeded. They have now been released to the court but it would appear that the judge hasn't bothered to read them.

Cafcass recommended in an initial interim report that the father looked after the child during the week and the child had to attend nursery or child minder during the day, the mother had him every other weekend but with 'help' i.e. not on her own, their was a list of people considered suitable. At the initial hearing the judge the overturned Cafcass and said that this was unfair and insisted on a 50/50 with the child still having to go the nursery except on Wednesday's when he would be with his mother, though she still had to have a helper with her, though she has broken this order on numerous occasions (their is proof). This story is complicated because there have been different judges. the first judge who actually said in court that he hadn't read the files but made the judgement outlined above, a second judge who upheld Cafcass' second interim report and praised the father for his actions in trying to safeguard his child and now back to the first judge again who is attacking the father and is trying to overturn the Cafcass section 7 report.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear KPG88

Thank you for your post.

From the information you have provided children’s services were involved with your grandson but have now closed the file. They advised your son to take the matter through private law proceedings and he is in the process of doing this. As shared before, our service offers advice to families who are currently known to children’s services or want support from them. It is helpful that your son has a solicitor, and I would advise he goes back to them with any questions, queries or concerns he has regarding his situation. In addition to this, he may find the Child Law Advice organisation useful (please see link above).

I am sorry to hear there have been some frustrations in obtaining information from Children’s Services and it is positive that the court now has this information. If your son is not satisfied with the conduct of Children’s Services, he may like to consider raising a complaint. Please see the link HERE which explains this process.

In respect of your grandson, it is the role of Cafcass to seek his wishes and feelings and to ensure any safeguarding matters are addressed. Therefore, it is important they are fully aware of any historic and current concerns. If your son is not satisfied with the conduct of Cafcass, this is the link HERE for their complaints process.

You say your son is a victim of domestic abuse. He may find the link to this organisation helpful RESPECT. It provides specialist support and also has a confidential helpline 0808 8010327 to support male victims of domestic abuse.

I hope this information has been useful for you.

Best wishes, Suzie

[KPG88]

My son is very unhappy with children's services and he will be taking action against them when the case is over. Children's services have either wilfully or through incompetence tried hard to ignore his concerns, the nursery's concerns, a childminders concerns, the woman's own mother's concerns about her daughter and the woman's own doctors concerns about the woman's behaviour towards her son.

My son is happy with Cafcass who have done their jobs correctly in all three reports that they have prepared.

The woman admitted domestically abusing my son in the custody court and so he definitely is a victim. Their have been other incidents lately which involve harassment and threats, such that he had to install camera's around his home, these have been reported to the police along with the court reports where the woman admits domestic abuse.

My son is very unhappy with one of the judges who appears to be making judgements, as he himself admitted in court, without reading the various reports. A very senior and experienced barrister has offered her services, pro bono, and this is being looked at. The barrister has commented that this is a very, very important case.

We can only wait and see now.

[KPG88]

Hi
I am not sure if this would be appropriate behaviour, I don't think it is, but I'm old.

According to my grandson his mother, my son's ex partner, has encouraged him, that is my grandson, into bed with herself and her new 'boyfriend', they were both naked. My son gently questioned his son and from his answers he thinks the new 'boyfriend' is a fairly casual relationship that she hasn't known for very long, possibly he was even a one night stand.

Of course he woman is entitled to a sex life and to live as she pleases, subject to the appropriate behaviour with her son, but is it appropriate to encourage a three year old into these circumstances with what appears to be a casual acquaintance?

My son has emailed his solicitor, she said that she would 'deal with it', and he is awaiting her further response.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear KPG88,

Thankyou for your further post.

You are concerned that your grandson has said that whilst in the care of his mother he was in bed with her and her new male partner. He said that they were both naked at the time and you believe that his mother has only known this man for a short period of time. You are concerned that this may not be an appropriate situation for your grandson to be in.

I would suggest that if you are concerned that your grandson was in an unsafe situation then you or your son should report this immediately to children’s services. I see that in previous posts you have explained that children’s services are no longer involved as they closed your grandson’s case, however if new safeguarding concerns arise then children’s services should always be informed. They can then decide what to do with this new information. They will undertake a new assessment if they believe this to be necessary.

You may also find it helpful to call the NSPCC helpline and you can discuss this particular situation with them. They can offer advice to people who are unsure about whether something constitutes child abuse. Their helpline number is 0808 800 5000 and you can find more information on their website here.

I hope you find this helpful and should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday. You are also welcome to post again in this forum.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[KPG88]

Hi
Things are moving very speedily, the police are involved as are children's services who it must be said are acting with their usual attitude.

There have been other behaviours from my grandson, talking about oral sex etc.
One thing he did last week was to start licking my leg, through my trousers, at the top of my thigh not far from my genitals. Both my wife and myself were shocked/surprised, I gently pushed him away and asked him what he was doing, he replied I'm licking your willie trousers. There have been other sexualised remarks, to my mind the sort of remarks a three year old boy should not be making.

My son made the decision last Tuesday that his son should not overnight with his mother, whilst the investigation was ongoing, but he would allow daytime visits, he informed the mother of this via his solicitor, within a couple of hours some one from the mash team rang him and ordered him to take my grandson to his mother for the night saying that he would be perfectly fine. My son has told me of the conversation which to me sounded abusive bullying. My son complied against his better judgement because he was frightened of the consequences in court. He tried to argue but he was shouted down. t seems that children's services are putting a child welfare at the bottom of their priority's.

I have spoken to the NSPCC for a long time possibly one hour plus, the woman on the helpline was disgusted by children's services attitude and said that she was shaking with anger.

My grandson has been with his father for the last five nights but he is due to back to his mother tonight, we are desperately worried, since this issue appeared the women has made a number of assertions and promises, via her solicitor and via children's services, all of which appear to have be untrue or have been broken. Now one has come back to my son about the investigation, he is worried about this evening but has no information.

Because of my sons worries I became involved last evening, I spoke to the police and they informed me they couldn't talk to me but that they would contact my son they told him that they had received no feedback from children's services who they had asked to to question my grandson, as far as we know no one has as yet spoken to my grandson. I tried to ring children's services but an out of hours person listened to my concerns and said that someone would telephone my son, as yet nobody has. This is happening one week into an investigation of a very serious allegation.

We are all in a state of fear, worry and concern such that both my wife and myself could not sleep last night. I am contemplating taking legal advice this morning.

After listening to the NCPCC women I feel that children's services are complicit in actively putting my grandson into a dangerous situation and that we may have to take action against them. It would appear that children's services are not putting the child first. It woud appear that they are very tardy in their investigation and that they are ignoring the concerns of my son, the nursery (who also gave my son a statement about my grandsons recent behaviour and their concerns) and now also myself. This is not a surprise mind given that children,s services have tried to ignore my son, the nursery, the child minder, the women's own mother and the women's own doctor in the past.

[KPG88]

Update.

After contacting Children's services four times, and having some very long and 'frank' discussions, I was eventually put through to the social worker assigned to the case. Apparently they had assigned the case to a social worker who was off sick and she had just that morning returned to work. After another 'frank' discussion she said she would visit the women that morning and start the investigation. I formally told her that I was worried about my grandsons safety both physically, emotionally and sexually and that I would be sending her a formal letter outlining my concerns and the reason for my concerns, I will, and I will send it by registered mail as I have absolutely no faith in children's services at all.

The assigned social worker later telephoned my son and told him that her investigation will take months, I'm not sure why this would be, though I suppose this depends on what they are investigating. In the meantime I am still worried about my grandson.

There are a number of questions all this raises.
1. Why did management assign the investigation into a serious allegation (sexual and involving a three year old) to someone they knew was away sick.

2. Why will the investigations take months?
As I wrote we had a frank discussion and I bought up everything in the history of this case including children's services ignoring the concerns of the father, the nursery, the childminder, the women's own mother and the women's own doctor. I detailed the women's physical abuse, psychological abuse, emotional abuse and putting the child in physical danger. I detailed the police rape report (which has been aired in court) which says that the women is a liar, manipulative and had interfered with witnesses. I detailed the psychiatrist's report (which has also been aired in court) and which said the women had very, very low levels of empathy and concluded that though in theory the women could look after a child in practice the psychiatrist had worries. I highlighted the CAFCASS reports including the section 7 report which limited the women's time with her son and said that she have helpers i.e. she shouldn't be alone with her son. We also discussed my grandsons sexual language and my believe that t his was out of place for a three year old.

Hopefully in light of our discussion they will not just be investigating the sexual issue but everything including their own role in this sorry tale.

However I don't have any faith in children's services and so I don't really expect much, I strongly suspect that sadly there will have to be litigation.

We will see.