Can anyone advise me, or give me feedback on their own experience of the following?
My ex is the father of our 5 year old.
Our relationship was turbulent, and he would drink excessively every weekend, even after our son was born.
He wasn't his priority, and continued to let us both down. As well as generally being nasty towards me in front of him, and even calling him names. (He was 2 when we split) Having our son made me see that this wasn't normal behaviour, and certainly not what I wanted him growing up seeing.
My son and I moved back to my hometown last August, approx 1 hour away from my ex. Contact changed to Fri and sat nights, alternate weekends.
Fast forward 3 years since our split. Ex has a new son, and that baby's Mum doesn't allow contact. I recently was told by her the reasons why.
Huge amounts of controlling and coercive behaviour, including DV. Some of which was witnessed by my son when he was in their care. Essentially, she saw how he parented, and it isn't something she wants for her own child. (He doesn't have PR so it is easier for her to take that stance)
Ex is in a new relationship, during which time our son has been given alcohol free lager, they don't use a car/booster seat for him, and alcohol is being used to excess when our son is there with them. He's said that "Daddy is really greedy with beers Mummy". It may be worth noting that he lost his driving licence due to drink driving too.
In addition, our son has questioned my partner and I, asking when we are going to start shouting at each other.
I took advice from various places to see where I stood with my concerns. It's ended with Social Services advising me to stop contact.
Ex was notified of this last week, and he has made it clear he had already submitted a court application. (This was submitted before I'd outlined my reasons for him not seeing our son)
So far, two weekends of access has been stopped.
Lastly, I know that the mother of his second child is in the process of getting a non-mol against my son's father. She has told me that due to the nature of the report that was given to the police before it went to the solicitor, that the CPS would get involved, and I too would be contacted. She had an ongoing log with the police during lockdown, and recently had to add to it. The police then read back through it all and said that action now needs to be taken.
SS have suggested I too apply for a non-mol due to harassing texts. Although I am unsure if I will do this.
I know my concerns are legitimate, I have been told that every step of the way. However I am so worried that he will convince the court he is a great dad and I'm only doing this to come between him and our son. His girlfriend has also emailed me, suggesting the same, and actually lying too. (Part of my concerns were that she herself told me she had seen his nasty side, and she has now gone to great lengths to re-write what was actually said.)
I know CAFCASS would get involved in this, which is reassuring as I don't have the privilege of Clare's Law, so I know they will find info on his record that will back my concerns.
Does anyone have any insight as to how this may play out?
I was made redundant due to Covid, and we are terrified of the costs associated with court. I am looking to apply for Legal Aid, but although I am on Job Seekers, I have a mortgaged home, so I may not fully qualify due to assets.
Thanks for reading
