School n ss

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Pinkskittlez
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun May 16, 2021 3:28 pm

School n ss

Post by Pinkskittlez » Mon May 17, 2021 1:05 pm

Hi, so a mum called in to school to say they had seen me tell my daughter I'd smack her bum if she continued with her behaviour school called me to clarify then school rang social services they called me and came out within 15 minutes. Now they came asked some questions and also took *** alone for her own questions. They never moved from the couch but when they asked **** if I smack her she said yes. Now my daughter is 4 so to her the taps I give her to correct her behaviour are smacks. They said they would be in touch after talking to gp school ect bit I'm going out of my mind I used to be in care myself and when I was pregnant they made me do a pre birth assessment to see if I was capable and they were happy and closed the case happy that I could care for my daughter. But I'm just very worried. Can they do anything about this? There was no actual physical altercation at all it was a threat to do so if she continues... surely they cant do anything about this especially considering it wasnt a professional who raised the alarm in the first place it was just another mum probably angry that I was holding them up whilst I was telling my daughter off. Please help

*** amended by Suzie to take out child's name.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: School n ss

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon May 24, 2021 2:17 pm

Dear Pinkskittlez,

Welcome to the Parent’s Forum. I am Suzie, FRG’s online adviser.
Apologies for the delay in responding to your post. I aim to respond to posts in the order they were posted, but if there is a post that is particularly urgent, then I will give it priority. FRG’s Operational manager will be in touch with you about your complaint.

In answer to your post, I can see that children services became involved after another parent at your daughter’s school made a referral to the school about you threatening to smack your daughter. Children services are now carrying out an assessment.
Here is information about assessments.


The social worker has seen your daughter and spoken to her about you smacking her and she has confirmed that this sometimes happens. You say that you “tap” her as part of your approach to correcting her behaviour.
In England it is legal for parents to smack their children as long as the smack does not leave the child with visible marks such as a bruise or a scratch. It is illegal to use an implement. (Smacking is illegal in Scotland and will soon be illegal in Wales-from 2022).
Children services may also be worried that smacking might have a negative impact on a child’s emotional wellbeing or that the smacking might escalate to become harmful to your daughter.

You say you are very worried about what children services will do. Because of worries around the smacking escalating, even if it is unlikely, the social worker might explore alternative methods to set boundaries or suggest a positive parenting course that you could do.
At the end of the assessment, the social worker could:
• Close the case, (suggesting support you could access.)
• Refer you down to early help (for example, to get parenting support.)
• Offer a child in need plan (with your consent) so that you can receive support and monitoring from professionals.
• Escalate to a child protection. If during the assessment, information came to light that meant the social worker suspected your daughter had suffered or is likely to suffer significant harm and that risk was ongoing-then a child protection procedures may happen. From the information you have given, this seems unlikely.

The main thing is to work as best you can with the social worker-like you have been doing-by letting the social worker into your home and allowing her to speak to your daughter. The pre- birth assessment will also be taken into account as part of the current assessment which is good news given that it was positive.

Here is information about working well with social workers.

You mention being in care. Become are a charity for care leavers who might be able to offer support to you. FRG can refer you to them or you can contact them yourself.

You might find the live chat with a parenting adviser at the Action for Children helpful as well as information on their website about parenting techniques , if the social worker is concerned about smacking.
Your final question is about another mum referring. Yes, children services do take referrals from members of the public such as neighbours and other parents as well as from professionals.

I hope my advice helps but if you need further advice, please post again or call our advice line for in depth advice on 0808 801 0366.
Kind regards,
Suzie

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