Hi
I have some questions about a risk assessment how it works?
The social services got involved as me and my partner had several arguments, my partner was sexually abused from her older brother when she was 8 years old until the age of 12.. anyway she was anxious and then the time she was duing at 1am so she contacted her parents but they did cut the phone off on her so I was stressed i called a friend to come over and watch the kids if they wake up.
I had to run everywhere taking her to the hospital because there is no taxis on that time ( we was living in a village) I came back running at 4 to check on our other 2 daughters( one of them is my step daughter but she calls me daddy ).
Anyway we agreed after that to don't go to her parent as her dad is abusing the kids, if they touch something or even cry he just startd banging doors and swear even they have flees in their house.. well after that they didn't come to see the baby and they meant to abuse her mentally sending her silly messages and we decided to ignore them but she couldn't , she stayed home for 2 weeks until she couldn't cope with her anxiety so she went to them and I lost my control we argued about before that point as I'm not happy with their treatment.
I attended to their house and found them making a statement against me, the police saw me out and they came to arrest me I resisted as i tried to explain my kids are not safe in their house so they had to taser me and it was the first time in my life I got in trouble with the police.
They've got me an order to don't attend the house for 28 days and then we had a conference they forced it to supervise me with the kids in a children center for 6 weeks but my partner called the police again and reported me as we argued in the car after the conference. They took her and our children to a refugee centre,they got me a bail to check my phone they came a result of the sexual abuse because she texted me exactly what her brother used to do to her and that was very hurting to hear from someone you love they said that's what has ruined our relationship, but the social services did find out that we speak to each other and I did breach the law in the first order as I used to go home at night and I know where my partner and the kids are.
And now I received an email from my social worker saying:
Hi ****
In response to your email as we have discussed previously we assess you as a risk to your children due to your lack of insight into the impact of your behaviour. Over the past year there have been incidents of verbal aggression and physical violence that the children have witnessed that has an emotional impact upon them and this demonstrates to us that as a parent you are not safe and prioritising the children’s needs.
We are not looking at giving you a task to do and then all is well and you can return home as there needs longer term evidence of change and development of yourself. It also comes down to what *** wants for her future.
You can do all the counselling and courses but deep down inside you need to change your behaviour without blaming others and accepting responsibility for your actions.
Our main priority is keeping the children and *** safe and that they can get settled to move forward so there is no further emotional impact upon them or risk of physical harm. As it has become clear that you have been trying to manipulate and control *** regardless of the consequences; which you have been informed about numerous times from children services for the children as if they are not kept safe then alternative care could be sought.
*** is doing everything right at the moment and we are supporting her with the children and this is our priority. As an adult it is your responsibility to seek support and guidance and until that time that it is evidenced that things have changed we will not support contact with the children due to the risks of knowing their location.
I am happy to discuss this further with yourself.
- Finally I would like to have an advice to know if I have to do any action to help the situation I know I did a lot of mistakes as I do not know the law or how it works with SS and was emotionally broke, I already referred myself to my GP and waiting for an assessment by the way I do not smoke or drink and I was supporting my kids financially without any penny from the benefit. Now I lost everything my job my kids my partner and my house please advice me what can I do? how long maximum can SS risk assessment? And do we have any chance to get back together as I really love my kids and my wife?
Thanks in advance
*** editing by Suzie (taking out names)
Risk Assesment
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4256
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Risk Assesment
Dear O.S123
Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.
I see from your post that children’s services (the new name for social services) are working with your family following issues relating to domestic violence and your arrest by the police. You are concerned about contact with your children and the risk assessment that the social worker is to carry out.
You have included in your post a copy of the email sent to your which sets out the concerns that children’s services have regarding your behaviour and the impact it has had on your children and your wife. It is very important that you work with children’s services to address these concerns and show that you fully understand your past behaviour and the effect it has on your children’s emotional well-being and your wife.
It is unfortunate that despite request to stay away from your wife, you continued to make contact with her and breached the agreement in place. Children’s services are now in the position where they do not feel able to trust that you are willing to work cooperatively with them for the benefit of your children.
You say you do not know the law or how it works with children’s services. I think you may find it helpful to read our advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services which explains with more details procedures. Also, you should understand that it is important to work with children’s services to get the best outcome for you and your children.
Since there are issues of domestic violence, I think it would be helpful to you if you read the information here . There are also other frequently asked questions specifically for fathers.
Regarding the risk assessment that you mention, there is no standard timings for risk assessments and it may be done as part of the overall assessment of the family’s situation. Alternatively, the social worker may rely on a specific risk assessment format and I think you should have a discussion with the social worker about this. You can ask whether there is a local policy within their department for risk assessment and ask for a copy of the policy document.
If the social worker is doing a child protection investigation under s.47, then this will take up to 45 days. Please see our advice sheetChild protection procedures.
In order to get some help regarding domestic violence you may find it helpful to contact Respect on 0808 802 4040 this is an organisation that offers advice and support to perpetrator of domestic violence.
I hope you find this helpful. Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday.
Best wishes
Suzie
Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.
I see from your post that children’s services (the new name for social services) are working with your family following issues relating to domestic violence and your arrest by the police. You are concerned about contact with your children and the risk assessment that the social worker is to carry out.
You have included in your post a copy of the email sent to your which sets out the concerns that children’s services have regarding your behaviour and the impact it has had on your children and your wife. It is very important that you work with children’s services to address these concerns and show that you fully understand your past behaviour and the effect it has on your children’s emotional well-being and your wife.
It is unfortunate that despite request to stay away from your wife, you continued to make contact with her and breached the agreement in place. Children’s services are now in the position where they do not feel able to trust that you are willing to work cooperatively with them for the benefit of your children.
You say you do not know the law or how it works with children’s services. I think you may find it helpful to read our advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services which explains with more details procedures. Also, you should understand that it is important to work with children’s services to get the best outcome for you and your children.
Since there are issues of domestic violence, I think it would be helpful to you if you read the information here . There are also other frequently asked questions specifically for fathers.
Regarding the risk assessment that you mention, there is no standard timings for risk assessments and it may be done as part of the overall assessment of the family’s situation. Alternatively, the social worker may rely on a specific risk assessment format and I think you should have a discussion with the social worker about this. You can ask whether there is a local policy within their department for risk assessment and ask for a copy of the policy document.
If the social worker is doing a child protection investigation under s.47, then this will take up to 45 days. Please see our advice sheetChild protection procedures.
In order to get some help regarding domestic violence you may find it helpful to contact Respect on 0808 802 4040 this is an organisation that offers advice and support to perpetrator of domestic violence.
I hope you find this helpful. Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3.00pm Monday to Friday.
Best wishes
Suzie
Re: Risk Assesment
Hi suzie
Thank you for taking time and replying to everyone's situation it is appreciated, you doing a wonderful job making the best effort to clear the view for many of the families involved with CS.
Just an update about my situation, CS has changed my SW and I feel my new SW is more helpful and responsive.. the first one was neglecting our relation as the police and all the professionals did witness that is hard to get in contact with her.
Well I was running everywhere to start a domestic abuse councelling for weeks and tried to get a referral from my previous SW but she did not answer for over a month then I got my new SW who got my email asking for a referral to start the programme so I would like to work together to adress the concerns and even correct my behaviour as I did undeestand it is not fair on the kids to witness the stress and arguments around them, she offered me " freedom programme " to start and update her about my progress, which I do in a weekly basis sending her a report followed with the questions and answers in the programme.and I do support my children financially every week, as I started a new job in a hospital.
I just want to know as a father I am feeling anxious and i miss my 3 children (1step daughter but she believes i am her dad and 2 are mine) do I have right to ask to see my children ? I didn't see them for over 4 months ago my little one I didn't see him since he was 4 weeks old and when my wife was going to the hospital to give the birth I did sort out the situation all by myself and I was responsible and happy to hold all that stress with no support from her family or no one ( i don't have my family here as they do not live in england )
I did mention before that my wife is in a refuge having support for her sexual abuse, mental abuse from her brother then her parents which landed into a stress then a domestic abuse as I didn't accept her family around my kids then instead of involving CS I did react with the wrong way, I know she is a good mum to my children but her depression and anxiety was so much which I tried to help but I was also affected by her past which i didn't notice until i had my councellings for my anxiety.
Our next conference with the CS will be on the next Mai but a lot has happened since the last conference as we was living all of us in devon and now she has been moved somewhere away and I moved to london, is the conference will be kept on the same date or it will be cancelled ?
Sorry for the long message, I do appreciate your time thank you again
Thank you for taking time and replying to everyone's situation it is appreciated, you doing a wonderful job making the best effort to clear the view for many of the families involved with CS.
Just an update about my situation, CS has changed my SW and I feel my new SW is more helpful and responsive.. the first one was neglecting our relation as the police and all the professionals did witness that is hard to get in contact with her.
Well I was running everywhere to start a domestic abuse councelling for weeks and tried to get a referral from my previous SW but she did not answer for over a month then I got my new SW who got my email asking for a referral to start the programme so I would like to work together to adress the concerns and even correct my behaviour as I did undeestand it is not fair on the kids to witness the stress and arguments around them, she offered me " freedom programme " to start and update her about my progress, which I do in a weekly basis sending her a report followed with the questions and answers in the programme.and I do support my children financially every week, as I started a new job in a hospital.
I just want to know as a father I am feeling anxious and i miss my 3 children (1step daughter but she believes i am her dad and 2 are mine) do I have right to ask to see my children ? I didn't see them for over 4 months ago my little one I didn't see him since he was 4 weeks old and when my wife was going to the hospital to give the birth I did sort out the situation all by myself and I was responsible and happy to hold all that stress with no support from her family or no one ( i don't have my family here as they do not live in england )
I did mention before that my wife is in a refuge having support for her sexual abuse, mental abuse from her brother then her parents which landed into a stress then a domestic abuse as I didn't accept her family around my kids then instead of involving CS I did react with the wrong way, I know she is a good mum to my children but her depression and anxiety was so much which I tried to help but I was also affected by her past which i didn't notice until i had my councellings for my anxiety.
Our next conference with the CS will be on the next Mai but a lot has happened since the last conference as we was living all of us in devon and now she has been moved somewhere away and I moved to london, is the conference will be kept on the same date or it will be cancelled ?
Sorry for the long message, I do appreciate your time thank you again
-
Suzie, FRG Adviser
- Posts: 4256
- Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm
Re: Risk Assesment
Dear O.S123,
Thank you for posting again.
I am glad that my earlier post was helpful. I am also glad to hear you have a social worker who is more helpful. It sounds like she is someone you can work well with.
It is really good news that you working through a domestic violence course. And it will be helpful to your children that you are able to provide some support now that you have a job.
Your question is about seeing your children. You say you have not been able to do so for 4 months.
You should certainly ask the social worker about seeing your children. Ask her when this could happen and what you could do to help it happen. The social worker is likely to want to do a risk assessment of you.
The social worker will also need to know what mum’s view is about you seeing your children. If mum did not agree to you seeing them then you would need to go to court for a child arrangements order.
If that was the case, then you can get advice from the Child Law Advice Service or Families Need Fathers
I hope my advice helps but if you have any questions please post again or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.
Best wishes,
Suzie
Thank you for posting again.
I am glad that my earlier post was helpful. I am also glad to hear you have a social worker who is more helpful. It sounds like she is someone you can work well with.
It is really good news that you working through a domestic violence course. And it will be helpful to your children that you are able to provide some support now that you have a job.
Your question is about seeing your children. You say you have not been able to do so for 4 months.
You should certainly ask the social worker about seeing your children. Ask her when this could happen and what you could do to help it happen. The social worker is likely to want to do a risk assessment of you.
The social worker will also need to know what mum’s view is about you seeing your children. If mum did not agree to you seeing them then you would need to go to court for a child arrangements order.
If that was the case, then you can get advice from the Child Law Advice Service or Families Need Fathers
I hope my advice helps but if you have any questions please post again or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.
Best wishes,
Suzie
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