please help, really feeling let down

[QuestionMark]

This entire time it has always been about the pool of perpetrators that I was left in. Every time I've tried to reach out to the social worker and ask for advice she's shot me down and told me she can't help me because I'm in a pool. When I tried reaching out the IRO, in a desperate attempt for someone to talk to me - because I wanted to have a discussion with her to understand their concerns so I could address them - she just told me that she "could only agree or disagree a plan" and she refused to meet with me.

My parental assessment concluded "This assessment concludes that, whilst ******** is more than capable of meeting the needs of her child, ****, there continues to be a judgement in place that states ****** remains in a pool of perpetrators in relation to the harm caused to her child ********* prior to his death. It is for this reason that I cannot make a recommendation for **** to be placed in the care of ********. It is appropriate to highlight within this summary, however, that this is a very positive assessment of ******, she presented as knowledgeable as a parent and confident in her handing of ****. A good attachment was observed between ******* and **** throughout the sessions". So, again, the issue was the pool of perpetrators. So I focused on this information and whilst I have always been aware that there are another 3 findings - my mam has the same findings against her and currently has my son, so with that in mind, I focused on the pool. No one raised any other issue with me.

Then at the final hearing suddenly no one cared about the pool, because of RE J, and it became about my insight which apparently I have "some" of just not enough of? I wish they had spoken to me, explained to me their concerns rather than just telling me about the pool for that to go out of the window at the 11th hour.. I feel betrayed; I've been desperate to work with them for my son and I just get dismissed because of the pool and then when it boiled down to it, it wasn't about the pool at all and I just feel so disorientated - they should have had these discussions with me, surely?

This process has also made me feel like victims of domestic abuse would be better off not telling the professionals about the DV.. I've been away from my abuser for 18+ months and yet it is still the thing weighing me down - it validates him, the abuser.. I really feel I would have been better off if I hadn't told them

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear QuestionMark,

I have only touched on the questions you raise about the court judgment in my answer to your later posts which I put on the forum today. I hope your legal team will be able to advise you further about the judges reasonings for making a special guardianship order as they will have sight of all the papers filed in the court proceedings.

Best wishes,
Suzie