Shared Custody with SS/Carer - Any advice please

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km2115
Posts: 20
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2019 12:38 pm

Shared Custody with SS/Carer - Any advice please

Post by km2115 » Fri Apr 30, 2021 1:28 pm

Hi Suzie/everyone,

Background - Both children were removed from my ex partners care in 2018, we had been separated for nearly two years and she had moved counties with both the children.

The SW recommended to court that my daughter be given into my care under a CO in December 2018. This has been really positive and the SW has never had any concerns about my parenting. My daughters discharge papers for the CO has gone to the court so I am just waiting for the judge to sign everything off. The SW and the children's guardian both want a CAO in place as they have concerns mother might try to come and take my daughter and not return her to me and I am in full agreement with this. Its been a long journey but thankfully nearly over for my daughter. BUT its still ongoing for my son.

My son has Cerebral Palsy (he can walk short distances but longer walks require a wheelchair) and Learning Difficulties (not severe) and also Challenging Behaviour (this has improved some he has less meltdowns). He is currently under a CO and has been living with a carer since May 2018. He has a Statement of Special Educational Needs but is being supported in mainstream primary school.

It has been a long road to get to where I am today. I have worked with SS and all other agencies really well and have gone over and above of what has been expected of me. I have attended every LAC review, Core Group meetings, school SEN meetings, medical appointments, all treatments for his CP, SALT appointments, parent evenings, arranged my own parent classes and have jumped through hoops backwards whilst balancing on my head to basically show I can and do put my children first and that it is in their best interest to return to me and be a family again.

Contact with my son is great with no issues, weekly contact is: 1 mid week video call, 1 midweek after school visit including dinner and 1 weekend day (normally Sunday) visit which includes a sleepover, contact is unsupervised in my home. The SW is about to finalise my parent assessment (this is the 2nd one, I also had ISW back in September 2018) and has hinted that she is looking at a Shared Custody Arrangement initially between me and the Carer with regular reviews to see if this can be progressed into a full return to me on a staggered basis. Whilst frustrating its still ongoing after over 2 years, its still a move forward and I see it as a positive step. The SW has only hinted this but I feel quite strongly this is what she is going to recommend once she finished my assessment ( just 2 unstructured visits left to do).

What did concern me was when I asked her how long a Shared Custody Arrangement would be in place for she said " how long is a piece of string" we would need to review regularly to see how things are going. Should there be an expectation of a time frame on this i.e review in 6 months or review in 12 months, surely it cant just be left open ended there must be a point where it needs to be decided if my son returns to me?

Has anyone had their child under a Shared Custody Arrangement before? What can I expect? Will it be a 50/50 split? How often will it be reviewed? Do I need legal advice or as I work well with SS do I just see how it goes? Should I be asking for a set review timescales so it does not drift on and on.

Any advice would really be appreciated please.

Thanks

km2115
Posts: 20
Joined: Sat Jan 26, 2019 12:38 pm

Re: Shared Custody with SS/Carer - Any advice please

Post by km2115 » Mon May 10, 2021 5:30 pm

Hi Suzie,

Another question please if you can advise, the court case is on 26th May 2021.

Social services and the children's guardian want a CAO in place so mother cant just come along and think she can take my daughter. How much protection does this provide as what I have read it seems the police are reluctant to intervene even if you have this in place? Can I ask for a PSO to be put in place as well as the CAO so my daughter and myself have extra protection?

Any advise please before the case would be appreciated.

Thank you

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4210
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Shared Custody with SS/Carer - Any advice please

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon May 24, 2021 4:59 pm

Dear km2115,

I have answered your questions on your other threads in my posts earlier today.

Best wishes,
Suzie

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