Positive Outcome

Post Reply
MovingOn
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Apr 23, 2021 12:00 pm

Positive Outcome

Post by MovingOn » Tue Apr 27, 2021 3:51 pm

Hi,

Just wanted to share a bit of my story to bring some hope to others and maybe my story can help others navigate this difficult journey.

My daughter is currently living with me under a care order and, at the beginning of my journey, it didn’t look like that was likely to be the case at all.

I won’t go into too much detail as everyone’s situation is different and the crucial points in how this was turned around aren’t in how this mess came about in the first place, but in how I took responsibility for what had happened, accepted my own failings as a parent and put my daughter first every step of the way while working hard to correct the problems. I showed dedication to my daughter and even would have accepted the possibility that professionals might have felt she was better off out of my care. Thankfully, no professional felt that way.

By the time the ICO had made it past the FOF hearing, my contacts had been so positive, always striving to go above and beyond to ensure my daughter felt no tension or unease during our contacts, I’d shown her allocated Social Workers that I wanted to work with them every step of the way, contacting them with all my queries, sharing with them my fears and showing them my vulnerability rather than hiding it from them, we attended the Final Welfare Hearing with both the LA and the Guardian supporting a plan to move my daughter back into my care with ongoing support through a care order. I didn’t have to fight anyone in court and she moved back in with me the weekend after the final hearing concluded. Our SW anticipates that they are likely to apply to seek to discharge the care order in about a year and I’m more than happy to continue receiving their support until then and even beyond if it is necessary. She was out of my care and in kinship foster care (although, not with family) for 9 months in total.

When this all started, I was very reluctant to cooperate with CS and had a strained relationship (if you could call it that) with the assessing SW. As time went on, and we had Social Workers allocated, the situation also got much worse (involvement with CS came via police referral due to my partner at the time but due to other circumstances and concerns by the OIC, I was brought into the investigation myself) and, as the police investigation took a turn for the worse, my contact with my daughter, which had so far been frequent phone contact whenever she wanted (twice a day), was suddenly stopped and I had no contact with her for 3months. As the police investigation progressed to charges for my (now) ex and NFA for myself, CS relaxed a little and I was then allowed to write letters and then eventually, weekly phone calls, followed quickly by weekly video calls was agreed and this eventually lead to supervised contact, twice weekly. Contact progressed so quickly because it was so positive for my daughter and she directed the type of contact she wanted. In the final month before the final hearing, we had moved back to daily phone calls (whenever my daughter wanted) and, as I said, she moved in on the weekend after the final hearing. There was no need for a transition period as contact had always been extremely positive and had grown in frequency.

Now, it may seem as though I got through the other end of this because the police decided to drop me from their investigation but that’s only an element to it. Obviously it helped but CS still had their concerns and I still ended up in the fact finding hearing, facing allegations of emotional harm and another more serious allegation. I accepted that I had caused emotional harm as I had come to realise the weight of everything that had happened and could have happened to my daughter that I just hadn’t seen before. I am her mother and I was responsible for safeguarding her and I hadn’t. It doesn’t matter that none of it was intentional or even that I hadn’t realised. It didn’t matter that the person who had posed the threat had been hiding their true nature from me - they know that I knew nothing. I could have argued that till I was blue in the face but the fact remained that she suffered emotional harm that I might have prevented had I done things differently. I accepted that and I worked hard to prove that I meant it. The other more serious allegation was left over from the police investigation (balance or probabilities) and I denied that and the judge agreed and accepted. I then continued to work with the LA to the point that they decided they would return to the final hearing, not challenging me or accusing me anymore, but backing me and putting their faith in me and I couldn’t be more grateful to the Social Workers for believing in me.

The journey that myself and my daughter went on was traumatic for both of us to say the least, but I am ultimately grateful that they stepped in and protected my daughter first and foremost.

Wishing you all well on your journeys.

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 4199
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Positive Outcome

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Apr 29, 2021 3:28 pm

Dear MovingOn,

Welcome to the parents board and thank you for sharing your positive story - it was a pleasure to read and I am it will serve as encouragement and inspiration for many parents on this forum.

It is uplifting to hear how you were able to turn things around during care proceedings by acknowledging concerns, working closely with children's services and building relationships that ultimately meant your daughter was returned to your care at the final hearing. It is clear that your insight, strength and resilience made a remarkable difference in the outcome of your family's situation.

I wish you and your daughter all the best and all the luck as you work towards discharging the care order.

Best wishes,

Suzie

Post Reply

Who is online

In total there is 1 user online :: 0 registered, 0 hidden and 1 guest (based on users active over the past 5 minutes)
Most users ever online was 318 on Fri May 28, 2021 9:04 pm