Worried if I'm making the right decision

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Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:57 pm

Worried if I'm making the right decision

Postby saraheve29 » Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:39 pm

Hi my son went into foster care August 2016, while I was pregnant, since then I've made some many changes in my life and I've been able to sustain them, I have my daughter with me because of this who is 10 months under a supervision order finishing this july. I have recently gone to a solicitorspecific who said I can apply for my son to come home under a supervision order,
I went to court today, and was told from the barrister that because myou daughter is on a supervision order I should go back in July once it's Finnished, I was upset as this would make 2 years without him. He misses me very much and wants to come home and my daughter is thriving in my care, so I said no I want to proceed, now I'm worried I've made the wrong decision. And scared. I'm going to have a parenting assessment from a lady who gave me a parenting assessment for my daughter and I was positive.
But I'm doubting myself and I don't know what to do, any advice please.

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Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:57 pm

Re: Worried if I'm making the right decision

Postby saraheve29 » Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:40 pm

Should I proceed even if my daughter is still on a supervision order I was granted legal aid.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Worried if I'm making the right decision

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Nov 24, 2017 6:31 pm

Dear saraheve29

Thank you for posting again.

I am pleased that you worked hard to make changes which resulted in you having your baby daughter in your care under a supervision order. Well done.

Turning now to the worry you have regarding your son and whether you should continue with your application to discharge the care order to have him home, I think it important that you consider that you were able to keep your daughter because it was considered that you would be able to care for her. There would be additional concerns as to whether you are now ready to care for both children.

I can understand your concern if were to take the advice given by the barrister to wait until July when the supervision order expires. You really want to have both your children with you. However, it might work in your favour to wait as it could show that you are considering the needs of both your children. In the meantime, you could ask that your contact is increased with a view to working towards your son being rehabilitated home.

I think it might be helpful if you read our advice sheets relating to the duties that children services have when a child is in the care system and reuniting children with their family reuniting children with their family . These will give you more in depth information about the best way to go forward.

You have legal aid for your application so it appears the application for legal aid was granted both on the financial eligibility and the merits test. This means that it was considered that there was a likelihood of success. However, it is the court that will make the decision about discharge of the care order and the judge will have to be sure that it is better for your son to be in your care than foster care.

The court has directed that a parenting assessment is carried out regarding your application and the assessor will be considering whether it is in your son’s interests to return to your care. A positive assessment for a baby will be different in some ways. I say this because with an older child his needs will be different and he may exhibit more challenging behaviour. Whether you are able to cope with their differing needs will be an important factor.

It is of course your decision if you continue with your application others can only advise you.

You have made the decision to proceed so I think you should focus on the assessment to be done now rather than worry about the decision you have made.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser about this situation, feel free to call our confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays)

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes


Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:57 pm

My views are being ignored

Postby saraheve29 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 1:48 pm

HI my son is in foster care for over a year now. My 10 month daughter is on a supervision order soon ending in July.
I have made so many changes and have addressed all previous issues, yet social services for my son was not even made aware of the progress I've made.
I am kept away from all lac review meetings and receive the minutes always months later,
I feel full confident about meeting both of my children's needs and have proof of family support.
I am currently undergoing discharge care proceedings for my son.
Yet all of the drastic changes and improvements I've made my son's social worker has said theirs no plans of him coming home. And now he has reduced contact from monthly to Every 6 weeks.
I can't sleep and I'm in despair. Why after all the changes I've made they still cannot consider him coming home. And why am I allowed to be alone single parent of a 10 month baby yet not allowed to even be alonely with my 10 year old boy.
I'm confused and in greif, it hurts so much please may you advise me.

Posts: 9
Joined: Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:57 pm

Re: Worried if I'm making the right decision

Postby saraheve29 » Thu Dec 07, 2017 9:34 pm

Even though I want to fight for my son is may just wait until July to fighthe for him. It's hard for me as we both desperatly want to be reunited again. But my own barrister has no faith I'll win while my daughter is on a supervision order even though I was granted legal aid. What do you think

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