Social Services concerned even though SOPO and SOR expired.

[Just a guy]

Hi there

I have a conviction for indecent pictures (and videos) of children (levels 1-3 SAP scale, all post pubecent girls), I was given the usual (at the time) 3 years probation, sign the SOR for 5 years, 5 year SOPO and complete the internet sex offenders course (NSPCC/Dove).
I've competed the course, am no longer required to sign the SOR and my SOPO has expired.

I've been dating a wonderful woman, she is aware of my offences. She has a great 13y/o son, his father whom I get on with is also aware of my offences.

Everything was fine until recently someone contacted social services, now they want to see us all and say my girlfriend needs to sign an agreement that she'll not allow me to have unsupervised contact with her son until he is 18 (more restrictive than my SOPO was) which would make things more than a little inconvenient to put it mildly. We'd be in the ridiculous situation where she'd be leaving him on his own as I can't be there with him!
Also they implied I'd have to sign to say I won't have unsupervised contact with any under 18 y/o ever.

Is this normal? It seems to me to be more than a little draconian. I don't even live there though I do stay quite often. Can they force me (or her) to sign anything? With her I understand they have some leverage with her son, but I'm just a bloke who lives in a flat on his own!

Thanks.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Just a guy

Welcome the Parents’ Forum

My name is Suzie and I am an adviser at Family Rights Group.

You are clearly very concerned about the action that Children Services is taking following a referral being made to them about your past conviction as a sex offender and your relationship with the mother of a 13 year old child.

Children Services will be concerned about ensuring that your partner’s child is safeguarded and not at risk of harm. From your post you say that your conviction related to post pubescent girls which, I assume, you are suggesting means you have no interest in boys. Unfortunately, Children Services are unlikely to make this distinction.

As they have received a referral it has been decided the action they will take is to have your partner sign an agreement that you will not have unsupervised with her son. If your partner does not agree, then Children Services is likely to be concerned about her ability to protect her child and may decide to take further action which could include carrying out an assessment to ascertain if he is a child in need or possibly do child protection investigations. The length of time seems arbitrary, so your partner might want to ask the social worker to put in writing the concerns they have and how they have decided on the time period suggested. She could also ask for a copy of their policy.

Children Services cannot force your partner to sign an agreement but there could be consequences for failing to work with them, as stated above.

In respect of the suggestion that you should sign an agreement that you will not have unsupervised contact with any child, I do not think they have a basis for asking you to do so. If you are asked to sign such an agreement, I suggest you ask for an explanation in writing and a copy of the policy on which they rely on to suggest that you should do so.

Your partner might like to read our advice sheets about child in need assessment and child protection procedures and these are included for further information.

If you wish to speak to an adviser, please do telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open Monday to Friday from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m.

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[Murray72]

Yes this is generally the "norm" in these situations. Any resistance from either yourself or your partner to sign and stick to the agreement will be seen in a negative light by CS. And further involvement by CS will see them becoming further involved in your life. If you do sign the agreement then do not break it, they will seek legal advice and usually progress to care proceedings once they have evidence of not sticking to agreements. Your partner's ex will also be involved and may also have to agree to you having no unsupervised contact too.

[Just a guy]

Well, this all worked out OK in the end

My partner refused to sign any agreement, social came round to see her three times (once with me where I agreed to work with them) and her son twice.
They phoned her ex (i.e. her son's father) for his opinion.
They never actually asked me to sign anything, my original post was after the first contact from Social (a phone call to my partner) where they had implied we would have to sign these agreements.

I met with a social worker once a week for about 6 weeks when I basically went through my life from being about 10 to the present day.

About 3 months later we got a dozen page assessment drawing the conclusion that I never had and never would harm her child, that I am a positive influence in his life, they are happy for us to remain together and that no further action was required.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Just a guy,

Thank you for sharing the outcome of the assessment with the parents’ forum. I think it will help a lot of parents who are in similar circumstances. That is good news for your family.

Best wishes,

Suzie

[PerfectlySafeDad]

Dear Just a guy,

Thank you for sharing the outcome of the assessment with the parents’ forum. I think it will help a lot of parents who are in similar circumstances. That is good news for your family.

Best wishes,

Suzie

Yep, well thank goodness for that, nevertheless what an appallingly draconian encounter. Disgusting actually. Terrifying that some malicious referral can result in near-dire SS action, and outright abuse of human rights to interfere with anyone this way once a person is off the register. They should be treated normally, end of, because by law they are normal.
Thank God the partner refused to sign the agreement!! Holy hell. Good job she ignored the advice on here. Strong woman. This then forced them into doing a proper diagnostic assessment, whereas they just thought they could do sod all and lock a family down by one capricious phone call 'thank you very much and move on', without even attempting to look at the real human situation.
Classic case of stretched resources and callous shortcutting (attempted) creating tyranny. Hooray for a rare win, but the massive warning in this story is *do not sign* and do not be bullied by these nasty little juntas working on the fringes of the law, firing their 'safeguarding' bullets willy-nilly. Know your rights.

[PerfectlySafeDad]

'sign an agreement that she'll not allow me to have unsupervised contact with her son until he is 18 (more restrictive than my SOPO was)'
Just who the hell these people think they are! Unbelievable.

[May12345]

Fantastic news Just a guy. I hope you are enjoying a social Services free life! Thanks for the update. It gives the rest of us hope. PSD enjoyed reading your comment, summed up well unfortunately!
In our situation even husbands solicitor was shocked and ‘concerned’ that I’ve made a freedom of information request she doesn’t think we should question the well respected psychologists professionalism by asking questions about the independence. I’m thinking that she isn’t used to parents questioning the LA!

[PerfectlySafeDad]

I too will be putting in a freedom of information request! I had no idea we could do this - which I will point out when I put the request in! They tell you what they want, think they can do what they want, and withhold what they want.
After all this time (2 years, 3 if you count the pre-charge period) now I know I need to act, at the very least to register a challenge to some of the exaggerated, twisted, speculative, 2nd-hand and misdated facts they've no doubt built up about me in some forgotten corner of their archives.
They've got me by the proverbials for a while yet because of my SHPO, but at least they're going to know they can't shift their goalposts on me or 'invent' anything new about me from this point forth.