Please help :(

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Joined: Sun Jan 19, 2020 9:28 pm

Please help :(

Post by Confused3081 » Mon Jan 20, 2020 4:23 pm

I’m looking for some advice please or some one to share a similar experience. Feeling very anxious at the moment and my thoughts are consuming me.
My partner is on SOR. His conviction was not related to children it was a rape conviction involving his ex partner.
We have been in a happy stable relationship for 5 years. He has been out of prison for 7. He has a good job with a good work reputation. He also has unsupervised access to his own 3 children who stay with us 2/3 nights a week with whom he has a good relationship. He is a great father. There have been no issues with police or probation or liscense etc since his release and together we have built up a normal stable life together.
The next natural stage of this relationship is planning a child of our own but I am terrified of child service involvement.l due to the nature of his conviction. His own children are obviously under child services remit so I need to know what to expect with my own.
What are the next steps for my self and partner. What would I need to expect once pregnant. I have read so many stories on this site about partners not being able to reside together once baby involved due to being on SOR register or being made to end relationships with partner to be able to keep your child and it is consuming an exciting period of my life with worry. And should I be bringing a child into a hell-ish storm of social services if this is what it will be like?
Please can anyone shed any light please.
Thanks in advance.

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Re: Please help :(

Post by Ignatious » Thu Jan 23, 2020 10:32 am

In the absence of any other response currently.

Myself and my (now Ex) Partner had 5 children removed. Since then she became pregnant. (unfortunately we lost at 20 weeks).
We had social services involvement due to our other children currently being in care. Initial assessments etc that kind of thing.
Technically, there should be no reason for involvement unless they have concerns.

Long story cut short,...

There can be no substitute for legal advice. I would assume most Family lawyers offer a free consultation.
It also probably wouldn't hurt to discuss openly with Children's Services (new name for Social Services) about your future plans and your current concerns.

Good Luck
I am a parent. My responses are not from any formal training background but from my own experiences, my own research and my own point of view.

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Re: Please help :(

Post by Confused3081 » Thu Jan 23, 2020 12:06 pm

Thank you for some insight, im really sorry to hear of your loss.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Please help :(

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Jan 29, 2020 2:33 pm

Dear Confused3081

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

My name is Suzie, online adviser at Family Rights Group.

You are concerned what is likely to happen should you decide to have a baby with your partner who is on the sex offenders register. I see from your post that you have been together for 5 years and he has been out of prison for 7. You do not say if there is a time limit for his SOR. It is also important to know what the restrictions are on his order in respect of children. In some situation a sex offender can be around children provided it is supervised or made known to the parents or carers.

It is likely, that due to the nature of your partner’s conviction, children’s services may become involved should you become pregnant. Children’s services would want to satisfy themselves that there would be little or no risk. The fact that the offence did not relate to children would be taken into account. This would mean that children’s services would have to carry out an assessment.

The assessment would be done pre-birth so you and your partner would have the opportunity to work with children’s services for the best outcome. Pre-birth plans would be discussed and agreed.

Your partner is able to have unsupervised contact with his children and children’s services have been or are involved with them. Did your partner and the children’s mother agree contact between them or did he have to apply to the court? If contact was negotiated with children’s services involvement it suggest that your partner has an understanding of engaging with children’s services.

As a parent has already posted to your post, it would be a good idea to have an open discussion with children’s services to find out their views.
You may find it helpful to contact the Lucy Faithfull Foundation for advice relating to sex offenders.

This advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services gives information about children’s services becoming involved and may help you to look at things more objectively.

I think it is important to remember that each case is different and the circumstances will require action for that particular case. Also, it sometimes depends on whether persons are willing to engage positively with children’s services.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes


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