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Re: Challenging social worker decisions

Posted: Tue Sep 17, 2019 2:48 pm
by Runnermum16
****UPDATE****
ADVICE PLEASE....

So my hand has been forced and my partner who is on the SOR decided with myself that we should end our relationship as my own children were suffering the effects of the so called Children's services were having along with my ex.

I have had a section 7 report from my very biased social worker and recently had a meeting asking why I've decided after 5 months to end my relationship. She admitted that as the kids were now Living with their father they were safeguarded so a risk assessment didn't matter any more. Yet people continue to ask me about my plans for the future, yet don't seem to be considering the wants and needs of my children.

My questions are (if anyone has any experience or advice)....

- NOW MY RELATIONSHIP IS ENDED WILL MY KIDS BE ALLOWED TO RETURN HOME??

- WHEN MY (NOW EX) PARTNER COMES OFF THE SOR AND HIS SOPO IS THERE ANY POINT IN TRYING TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN?

I'm Only asking as I feel Let down and failed by what I considered a supportive system. I have been nothing but honest bout my relationship yet the father of my kids who is a controlling bully has been the one to receive all the sympathy and support.

I have now been referred back to counselling to deal with my controlling exs behaviour but now have concerns he is manipulating my children but Honestly don't know where To turn as it will no doubt be over looked as tit for tat....

Re: Challenging social worker decisions

Posted: Mon Sep 30, 2019 1:27 pm
by Suzie, FRG Adviser
Dear Runnermum,

Welcome back to the Parents Forum.

I can see that the private law proceedings are still ongoing and your children remain with their father at the moment.
You say your hands have been forced and you have decided to separate from your partner. The social worker is saying that an assessment of your partner's risk will not be needed now because you are no longer with him. That is right.

You ask whether he would still be considered to be a risk once his SOPO has ended. Yes his risk level would not change just because the SOPO ended.
You ask whether your children will be allowed to return home now your relationship has ended. That depends on what the court says. Is the social worker putting in an addendum report detailing her assessment of your separation from your partner?
Is she confident that you would not re- unite with him? Does she think you understand the risk to children of being sexually abused? Does she think you can protect your children going into the future? Have you been offered any support to deal with protecting children against sexual abuse risks? In one of my earlier posts I suggested you look at the Parents Protect website or speak to the NSPPC about the Women as Protectors courses.

I cannot give detailed advice about private law proceedings. The Child Law advice line or Rights of Women can offer advice.

I sorry I cannot offer the full advice you need. If you have any questions, please post again.

Best wishes,
Suzie

Re: Challenging social worker decisions

Posted: Sat Nov 09, 2019 11:34 am
by Runnermum16
****update****

So the addendum came through and the report was more evenly balance (my usual SW brought a more senior SW along to our meeting). I explained that my relationship has ended and became quite upset at certain aspects of the meeting. When asked why I was upset, i explained Id had enough of being potrayed a bad person. It was at this point the senior SW stepped in a supported me, asking if I was upset due to my relationship coming to an end, she also suggested I visit my GP and attend counselling to help me (this is the kind of support and advice I would expect). I found my self talking to the mor esenior SW more openly and she was even asking my questions regardless of the relevance she may have considered them to be. My allocated SW used to just say some questions weren't relevant therefore refused to answer them.

The report came back more evenly balanced. stating that if my relationship is over, which they clearly accept due to my emotional state, then they see no reason to be any longer involved. Although they have left it open for the judge to decide what steps he/she wish to take.

My ex however is trying to heavily control the situation making demands and requests that are totally unreasonable and very unfair. Things like, I'm to have no direct contact with any unknown males within the community while my kids are present, I am to have no unknown males around my home while the kids are present, and not allow any unknown males to come into contact with my children while at homes of others. He is also stating firmly that he does not believe my relationship is over and wants me to provide evidence of this (any ideas how greatly appreciated), he is also stating that he does not want my children to have any overnight contact with myself (even though the kids have requested this themselves). He has also requested a reduction in the contact time I have at the moment.


We are back in court in a few days, and due to him not accepting any of my submissions, I may have to be cross examinin the witness box. Surely this is a bit extreme for a family law hearing?? What can they ask me?

Re: Challenging social worker decisions

Posted: Tue Nov 12, 2019 1:25 pm
by Suzie, FRG Adviser
Dear Runnermum16

Thank you for your updating post. I am sorry to hear the recent meeting you had with children’s services was distressing for you but it sounds as if you coped well, were able to get some support and answers from the senior social worker who was present and that the addendum report is more balanced than previous reports.

Your children’s father continues to put forward expectations around contact that you disagree with and find unreasonable. You are worried about what to expect, what you questions you may be asked, if you are cross-examined in court. If you still have a solicitor representing you they should be able to advise you specifically about this and prepare you for being cross-examined. Otherwise, you can seek advice from Child Law Advice or Rights of Women. There is also some information about being cross-examined in the Bar Council’s Guide to Representing Yourself in Court that may be useful to you.

With best wishes

Suzie

Re: Challenging social worker decisions

Posted: Mon Dec 09, 2019 4:24 pm
by Runnermum16
Hi suzie, many thanks for your reply. Fortunately I didn't have to be cross examined in the end, we managed to settle out the court room. Although the father to my children was still making demands... He has requested that holds both children's passports. Which I am completely fine with. Although I have been informed that if he wished to take the kids abroad I must be informed.
We have agreed to further access and any further issues are to be dealt with at mediation.

I still have an ongoing complaint with the social workers though as they totally blanked my concerns for his mother's mental state (where my kids spend most of their time) and their fathers manipulating behaviour. I have and will be taking this further as I am completely dissatisfied with the responses I am getting.

Re: Challenging social worker decisions

Posted: Wed Dec 11, 2019 12:59 am
by AANCM
Runnermum16 was just wondering if you fancied a chat through private messages? I wasn’t sure how to mail you directly so was hoping you’d could get in touch with me. I haven’t really any answers to your questions, however I have been in the same sort of situation Xx

Re: Challenging social worker decisions

Posted: Fri Dec 13, 2019 3:33 pm
by Runnermum16
Feel free to get in touch. I feel its always good to share experience and advice. Especially with similar people...