Family Rights Group | Parents’ Forum

Dear Freddie,

I suggest you ask the social worker to set out in writing why she has come to this decision given the previous social worker was advocating that he now have direct contact with your children. As you say, it is a change of plan.

When you receive a written response, you could then challenge the decision by children services complaints procedure. Or seek legal advice from a solicitor who specialises in child care law. They could advise whether children services could successfully pursue a case to remove your children from you.

I know your partner committed sexual offences against women. Is the social worker also worried that he may be sexually violent or domestically violent to you? Not just your children. If so, she may be worried that your children will then suffer the trauma of witnessing you being hurt.

If so, have you been offered support about the effects of domestic violence and sexual violence effects on children?

Children services must believe your children are old enough to know about the crimes your partner committed. If your children are told about his risks, then this may help them be self-protective when he is around. It also opens the dialogue for them to seek protection from you, if they feel in danger. Speak to the Lucy Faithfull Foundation.

What does dad think? Is he worried that your partner is risky to your children? If he thought you were not protecting them, he has the option of seeking a court order for the children live with him.

I hope this helps. If you have any questions, please post again.

Best wishes,
Suzie

"My children are only 8 and 10. The disclosure I made to them spoke nothing about his sexual offence. It focused on his mental health and an offence which he went to prison for and the gave he has no parental experience. In SS 's view that is their major concern. I personally know of dozens of couples where a new partner had no parental experience.

Dad has actually said that he feels my partner does not pose any risk whatsoever to my children. Then says he wants then nowhere near them. He has been telling them for over a year that they will never meet him, that anyone who goes to prison is evil and they should not be friends with people who have gone to prison. My ex is manipulative and had proven himself over the past year to be a rubbish parent, he let's them stay up ridiculously late, he has allowed them access to porn, he doesn't provide basic care poker feed then healthy meals yet SS still say they would support him if he went for custody"

It's obvious from that lot that the social services don't know what the hell they are doing and are totally incapable of untangling this case, and they are doing more harm than good by their human right-violating interference. As an organisation, they do not trust each other internally and act with cruelty plus incompetence together, which is the classic hallmark of tyrannies. When goalposts are shifted in dire ways such as this how can they possibly ever be trusted? The only solution in attempting to deal with Britain's social services is to evade coming to their attention at all and give out no information whatsoever about your very existence as far as you can possibly help it. They are extremely dangerous people, more dangerous than the vast majority of people they deal with in their so-called 'risk assessments'. They should be disbanded altogether. There's got to be a better solution to protect children than these jumped-up mediocrities.

Freddie wrote: ↑Wed Jun 05, 2019 11:55 am

My children are only 8 and 10. The disclosure I made to them spoke nothing about his sexual offence. It focused on his mental health and an offence which he went to prison for and the gave he has no parental experience. In SS 's view that is their major concern. I personally know of dozens of couples where a new partner had no parental experience.

Dad has actually said that he feels my partner does not pose any risk whatsoever to my children. Then says he wants then nowhere near them. He has been telling them for over a year that they will never meet him, that anyone who goes to prison is evil and they should not be friends with people who have gone to prison. My ex is manipulative and had proven himself over the past year to be a rubbish parent, he let's them stay up ridiculously late, he has allowed them access to porn, he doesn't provide basic care poker feed then healthy meals yet SS still say they would support him if he went for custody.

See this concerns me here. Why are SS still in support of your ex regarding custody?

You also state your partner committed a sexual offence as in just one but then mention his history is against unknown women so he's a repeat offender? Apologies if it is a typo.

If he is in fact a serial offender I would guess a major concern for SS is that he might reoffend again as he has already shown that he can and I could hardly blame your ex for not wanting his children around your new partner sorry. But then if he is saying he believes your partner is no risk it all sounds like an absolute mess and like PerfectlySafeDad said it's no wonder SS can't untangle the case.

@ runnermum and Freddie...
They're an absolute disgrace, aren't they? Words fail me. I've poured so much vitriol over Britain's social services (I refuse to call them children's services, because this name change is part of the insidious process by which they think they have the highest moral ground and opens the floodgates for their zealotry, they're anything but protectors of children's welfare, yet the title gives them excuse not to care one jot about the pain they cause parents so long as, in their eyes, the children are being 'safeguarded' - ie subject to their strangulating judgements).. as I was saying, I've poured so such vitriol over them over recent years yet still I read stuff (as here) that makes me simply run out of words for what sheer women's genitalia they are.
"She is adamant that this decision can not be overturned and will just not accept that my partner could ever be anything but a significant risk. He has completed assessments and come out low risk but now she's saying that the assessment only covers kids and they well obviously turn into adults yet they say the girls can meet him when they are 18".
Comments on the above:
1) sheer arrogance 'decision cannot be overturned' just who the f do they think they are??
2) blinkered, demonizing, ignorant - unable to or unwilling to give anyone a chance.
3) complete f.ing idiots. So, he can't see the kids now because they are kids (yet he is assessed by higher professionals than they that he is not a risk to kids), and they're concerned about his risk to the kids when they turn into adults yet they've granted contcat when they turn 18?? (as if they could refuse when the kids are adults anyway, what nonsense is this??)
Just fight them over the alleged risk of contact now, and as for when the girls turn 18, simple. just tell SS to sod off, because they don't have a say in an adult's life. Who the hell do they think they are? Staggering. When is this tyranny going to be called out?
Hoe the hell can any advisers on this site defend these dangerous morons in the slightest any more?

Runnermum16 wrote: ↑Wed Jun 19, 2019 8:24 am I too find SS a real Pain in the....
They come accross as being very biased and always looking for the most easiest and obvious solution. Not considering the wants and needs of the children which should be their primary concern. My ex Is acting like an exemplary father at the moment. But hadn't been this way for 10 years. My kids are Only 10 and 11. My new partner is on the SOR so My ex is kicking off big style. The SS advised him To Keep the kids until I Leave my new Partner. My kids want to Come Home... Surely their needs matter??
I know leaving my new Partner is the easiest solution and some Would argue "why don't I just do that" but he is a good Man who Made a mistake. I believe in second chances and I believe that my new Partner will never reoffend.. The SS are saying I'm being groomed, which is an absolute joke. We Comply with all they have asked and cooperate fully. With all Assessments...

Dear Runnermum16

You are currently in private law proceedings relating to your children which means that the court will be make a final decision regarding where your children should live.

Children's services will be concerned about your new partner's background and how this might impact on your children from a safeguarding point of view. Whilst I understand that you believe your partner is a reformed character and unlikely to re-offend, children's services usually take the opposite view since there are no guarantees. Part of the concern about your ability to safeguard is that you are so sure about your ex partner that you may not be protective enough of your children.

Perhaps you might find it helpful to speak with the Lucy Faithfull Foundation's Parents Protect on 0808 1000 900 which might help you to better understand the concerns that children's services have and help you so you are able to show children's services that you are taking on board their concerns and have the ability to protect your children.

Whilst no one likes to have children's services involvement they do have a legal duty to ensure that children are safeguarded and should work with parents or others to ensure that children are safe. The important thing is to understand their concerns and are willing to work cooperatively.

Now the matter is before the court and your children are with their father are children's services still working with you? Are they assessing you, your new partner or are they awaiting the outcome of the court hearing. The most important thing for you is to try your best to work with children's services to secure the best outcome for you and your family.

Best wishes

Suzie

Dear Runnermum,

Welcome back to the Parents Forum.

I can see that the private law proceedings are still ongoing and your children remain with their father at the moment.
You say your hands have been forced and you have decided to separate from your partner. The social worker is saying that an assessment of your partner's risk will not be needed now because you are no longer with him. That is right.

You ask whether he would still be considered to be a risk once his SOPO has ended. Yes his risk level would not change just because the SOPO ended.
You ask whether your children will be allowed to return home now your relationship has ended. That depends on what the court says. Is the social worker putting in an addendum report detailing her assessment of your separation from your partner?
Is she confident that you would not re- unite with him? Does she think you understand the risk to children of being sexually abused? Does she think you can protect your children going into the future? Have you been offered any support to deal with protecting children against sexual abuse risks? In one of my earlier posts I suggested you look at the Parents Protect website or speak to the NSPPC about the Women as Protectors courses.

I cannot give detailed advice about private law proceedings. The Child Law advice line or Rights of Women can offer advice.

I sorry I cannot offer the full advice you need. If you have any questions, please post again.

Best wishes,
Suzie

Dear Runnermum16

Thank you for your updating post. I am sorry to hear the recent meeting you had with children’s services was distressing for you but it sounds as if you coped well, were able to get some support and answers from the senior social worker who was present and that the addendum report is more balanced than previous reports.

Your children’s father continues to put forward expectations around contact that you disagree with and find unreasonable. You are worried about what to expect, what you questions you may be asked, if you are cross-examined in court. If you still have a solicitor representing you they should be able to advise you specifically about this and prepare you for being cross-examined. Otherwise, you can seek advice from Child Law Advice or Rights of Women. There is also some information about being cross-examined in the Bar Council’s Guide to Representing Yourself in Court that may be useful to you.

With best wishes

Suzie

Runnermum16 was just wondering if you fancied a chat through private messages? I wasn’t sure how to mail you directly so was hoping you’d could get in touch with me. I haven’t really any answers to your questions, however I have been in the same sort of situation Xx