Please help

[Looloo]

Hi my 5 year old son went to school last Tuesday and apparently told one of his teachers his dad has hit him.The school called social servises and the police they went down and interviewed my 5 year ild lifting his top to check for marks (they didn't find none as its not true)Is this legal for 2 females to be lifting my sons top up?they then interviewed my 7 year old and told me they children have said some worrying things.


They came to my house and told me my partner has to leave or they will be taking my kids.I instantly said he will leave now and he said he will sleep in the car away from out family home.The social worker then got very funny saying it is illegal to sleep in a car and if you don't give us a fixed address then we will have to remove the children we explained he didn't have no where to go so would become homeless (he was leaving regardless)so didn't have an address.My brother said he could stay with him so my kids wasn't taken.None of the allegations was for me so is it legal to them to take my kids kids if iv done nothing wrong as a mum it wouldn't have been my fault if he had no where to go yet they was going to take my kids.


The social worker interviewed my older 2 who confirmed that my partner has never laid his hand in them not once.

Its been a week now and my partner hasn't been able to see our kids at all.He has an interview with the police tomorrow and social worker said she can't put no plan in place until police finish their investigations.The social worker has also said that regardless of the investigation out come they will still have to be discussions and a plan in place.So if my partner gets found no guilty (he not guilty)then the social will still want insolvent but why?I mean I think its the police job to find out if someone has broken the law.

[CFJ222]

Hi there sorry to hear you having so much trouble with the LA. My advice is that though you believe and it may well be the case your partner is innocent.

From a safe guarding point of view you must be seen that you are on your childs side. (even if they are lying) you need to always be on the side of caution. Your natural instinct should have been to show concern for your child not the defence of your partner. This is the key thing the LA will be driving there involvment to carry on. Do exactly what they say, even if you find it hard to accept. Expect to wait ages for replies and things to happen in a reasonable time. Expect to be frustrated. Expect for them to maniplulate, cause problem and even lie. It is how you respond and work with them will you then realise that is the quickest way out.

Your goal should be to be back as a normal family asap.

So my advice is get the husband away from your children. Prove any way you can that you hate your fella and its over, even maybe go as far to say you only want him supervised contact whilst he remains a risk. Show them you are worried about what he has done (even if it not true) or could do in the future . Ask questions show them you understand risk. For the time being just be on the LA side tell them what they want to hear.

The other option is stand by your man. Fight but let me tell you the LA have there own rules. They seem to get a kick from cases where there is the battle. expect they will try for a supervission order or full care order. expect they will want you to undergo work or therapy also same for your fella. they will want him to do anger management. They will try split you up or force you to. (yes they can if they give you the delema choose between children or him) however this route will always take longer and not recomended.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi my 5 year old son went to school last Tuesday and apparently told one of his teachers his dad has hit him.The school called social servises and the police they went down and interviewed my 5 year ild lifting his top to check for marks (they didn't find none as its not true)Is this legal for 2 females to be lifting my sons top up?they then interviewed my 7 year old and told me they children have said some worrying things.


They came to my house and told me my partner has to leave or they will be taking my kids.I instantly said he will leave now and he said he will sleep in the car away from out family home.The social worker then got very funny saying it is illegal to sleep in a car and if you don't give us a fixed address then we will have to remove the children we explained he didn't have no where to go so would become homeless (he was leaving regardless)so didn't have an address.My brother said he could stay with him so my kids wasn't taken.None of the allegations was for me so is it legal to them to take my kids kids if iv done nothing wrong as a mum it wouldn't have been my fault if he had no where to go yet they was going to take my kids.


The social worker interviewed my older 2 who confirmed that my partner has never laid his hand in them not once.

Its been a week now and my partner hasn't been able to see our kids at all.He has an interview with the police tomorrow and social worker said she can't put no plan in place until police finish their investigations.The social worker has also said that regardless of the investigation out come they will still have to be discussions and a plan in place.So if my partner gets found no guilty (he not guilty)then the social will still want insolvent but why?I mean I think its the police job to find out if someone has broken the law.

Dear Looloo

Thank you for your post and welcome to our Board, I am sorry for the delay in responding. I am sorry to read of your situation.

When Children’s Services receive information about a child through a referral from a school, a person or other agency, they have a duty to look into the matter further. This is what they are doing in your family’s situation now. In your situation your son was the person who said that he was ‘hit by his dad’ and his statement was believed without there being any marks or bruising on him. It may be useful for you to read about the processes that social workers follow when they receive information about a child and how parents and carers should be involved with that process, it is outlined on our website here . Please do follow the link to the publication called Working Together to Safeguard Children 2018 too.

Perhaps it might be useful for you to ask the social worker to draw up an agreement with you about your partner’s contact with you and your children (if there are no conditions set by the police, during their investigations). Here is a charter called Mutual Expectations, you could use it as a guide when you next speak with the social worker. Here too is some information about working with social workers.

Regarding the police and their involvement versus the way Children’s Services work. The police (the law in general) when regarding criminal matters, ‘need’ to show/prove that there is no doubt that a person has committed a crime. Children Services (the law) ‘often take the view’ that ‘the balance of probabilities’ exist suggesting that ‘something’ did or may have happened. As this relates to your situation – your son said that he was hit by his father – this seems or may be true (though you disagree and not from what you know about how your family works). Nevertheless your son is viewed to have given an honest account of an incident and this will be investigated to discover what led to his saying so.

If you would like to speak with one of our advisers, please call our advice line on 0808 801 0366, the lines are open Monday to Friday, from 9.30am to 3.00pm.

Best wishes

Suzie