Family Rights Group | Kinship carers’ Forum

Hi, new here and really hoping someone can help. In 2023 my son’s girlfriend was aged 20 and her mother passed away and asked her to look after her younger brother and sister (aged 12 and 10 at the time). Social services were advised by both their schools and deemed them not in need of any support. 2 years on nearly and she is now living in a house which my son has bought and as they are both working receive no financial support for the 2 children they are caring for apart from child benefit. She requested a fostering assessment and it appears that the council deemed the children not at risk so their involvement was not needed. She is now 23 on a minimum wage job and struggling financially to care for the 2 siblings. Their father provides no support and hasn’t worked in this time as far as we are aware. She will be applying for child maintenance but expects very little from this.

Can anyone please advise if she is entitled to any other financial support and who to engage for this please.

Hello @Concernedgm and welcome.

Suzie, the FRG advisor will I am sure be along next week with detailed advice, but in the meantime it would be helpful to know who asked your son's girlfriend to care for the children. If it was a social worker or the anyone from the local authority, it puts a different slant on things in that as they were involved with the 'placement' then they have a duty to support. If it was another family member then it's a 'private arrangement'. However even under those circumstances, their rejection of the children being 'in need' would seem to be challengeable.

If you can post back with the answer for that question then hopefully Suzie will be better placed to offer targeted advice.

It's a brave thing your son and girlfriend are doing, especially with no financial support.

Best wishes .... Robin

Hi, thank you for replying. No-one officially asked her to look after them - their mother died and as they were already living together with their mum she was by default left to care for them.

If anyone can advise how we could/should challenge the councils rejection of them not being “in need” that would be amazing

Concernedgm wrote: Sat Dec 13, 2025 5:54 am Hi, new here and really hoping someone can help. In 2023 my son’s girlfriend was aged 20 and her mother passed away and asked her to look after her younger brother and sister (aged 12 and 10 at the time). Social services were advised by both their schools and deemed them not in need of any support. 2 years on nearly and she is now living in a house which my son has bought and as they are both working receive no financial support for the 2 children they are caring for apart from child benefit. She requested a fostering assessment and it appears that the council deemed the children not at risk so their involvement was not needed. She is now 23 on a minimum wage job and struggling financially to care for the 2 siblings. Their father provides no support and hasn’t worked in this time as far as we are aware. She will be applying for child maintenance but expects very little from this.

Can anyone please advise if she is entitled to any other financial support and who to engage for this please.

Dear Concernedgm,

Thank you for your post. I am Suzie, an online adviser for Family Rights Group responding to your enquiry today.

Your son’s partner became a carer for her younger siblings after her mother’s death, and they are now caring for the children together but struggling financially. There is an argument that if this arrangement became too difficult to sustain, children’s services would need to step in to look after the children so timely support at this stage would be a wise course.

You have clarified that children’s services were not involved when the family were bereaved and took no part in making plans, so it is likely that this will be seen as a private family arrangement.

IF there were any grounds to challenge the definition of a private family arrangement the following links would be useful.

• Disputes between carers and children’s services about whether an arrangement is kinship foster care or a private family arrangement are discussed here.
• Family Rights Group have template letter that helps a carer to request a kinship foster care assessment here. Please look at letter 4.

I will now look at the other question you raise as to how the decision not to view the younger siblings as children in need can be challenged.

Detailed information about child in need provision is here.

Your son and his partner should write to the head of children’s services and ask for an explanation as to why the children are not seen as children to be given in writing within 10 working days. They should ask for a copy of the local threshold document for child in need which sets out the criteria for families receiving help. You can read more about this here.

If no satisfactory answer is given the carers could consider making a formal complaint. Details about the complaints process are here.

The carers could also seek support from their local councillor and/or member of parliament and request that they take up the matter with children’s services. You can find out how to contact these elected representatives here (councillor) and here (MP).

A family group conference could be requested so that the informal network of family and friends around the children could come together to explore ways in which they could offer support. A family group conference is chaired by a professional who can help the family in their decision-making. You can read more about this here.

You mention that the children’s father does not support the younger siblings financially, but it sounds like his whereabouts are known. Guardian’s allowance can be paid in some circumstances when a carer steps in after a death – however, if there is a surviving parent who can be contacted it is unlikely that your son and his partner would be eligible. You can read about the eligibility criteria for guardian’s allowance here.

Turn2Us are an independent charity that help anyone experiencing financial insecurity. They have useful information about benefits and grants available here.

Your son and his partner may also find useful support from Kinship here[/b] – an independent charity that supports kinship carers. Kinship have a guide for managing emotional and mental health needs in kinship families here.

Links to organisations that offer bereavement support are here.

I hope you find this information helpful. If you would like to talk to an adviser at Family Rights Group about your situation, please call the freephone advice line on 0808 801 0366, Mon to Fri, 9.30 am to 3.00 pm. If you prefer, you can post back, use our advice enquiry form or webchat. Please refer to our website for further information.

Best wishes,
Suzie